Freethought & Rationalism Archive

streamline · 07-30-2003, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jamie_L
Like I said, "good result" = God did it.
"Bad result" = You did it.

If you're really pleased about it, then God did it. That's the rule. Human beings are pathetic slime that can't possibly do anything useful. Unless God helps. And if you think you managed to do something that you think is good, then you probably didn't really do something good, but somethig bad. Like getting laid. You may have been responsible, but getting laid is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Bad, bad, bad. All pleasure is wrong, so if you give yourself pleasure, that's your fault, but it's bad. And if someone else give you pleasure, well that's bad too, and it's their fault, and your fault for letting them, but it's not God's fault. God doesn't doo those kinds of things.

If you feel bad about some event or situation, it's your fault, because God never causes people to feel bad. Ever, ever, ever. Even when he floods the world and kills everybody. That was your fault. Or, someone's fault, since I guess you weren't around. But God works in mysterious ways, and he's omnsicient, so he would have known back then what you were going to do today, so maybe it is really your fault. All humans are evil. You are human. You deserve whatever you get, just like the rest of them. But God's not doing things to you. He's just standing by so you learn your lesson.

And the lesson is: It's all your fault.

Except for the good stuff.

Jamie

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

See, I knew Kurt Warner was giving props where rightfully due when he thanked Jeeeeezuz for that Super Bowl ring. And then that broken finger, that was entirely his fault. Cool how that all works.

Sue Sponte · 07-30-2003, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Like getting laid. You may have been responsible, but getting laid is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Bad, bad, bad. All pleasure is wrong, so if you give yourself pleasure, that's your fault, but it's bad. And if someone else give you pleasure, well that's bad too, and it's their fault, and your fault for letting them, but it's not God's fault. God doesn't doo those kinds of things.

All pleasure is bad.

What a wonderful view of life.

Jobar · 07-30-2003, 06:03 PM

- God is maximally great.

- Tits are maximally great.

- Therefore, God is tits.

- Tits exist.

- Therefore, God exists.

Congratulations, Boro Nut. You have succeeded where millenia of theologians have failed!

Demigawd · 07-30-2003, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jamie_L
And if someone else give you pleasure, well that's bad too, and it's their fault, and your fault for letting them, but it's not God's fault.

Wait a moment! I thought Christianity had the clause that if you and that someone are in a heterosexual marriage, and you're doing it for the sake of multiplying, then pleasure is ok. Sorta like God given you a cookie for a task properly accomplished. A bonus, if you will.

However, that would explain why there are so many Christians running around this paltry planet despite how nasty and ee-ville pleasures of the flesh are.

Demigawd · 07-30-2003, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jobar
- God is maximally great.

- Tits are maximally great.

- Therefore, God is tits.

- Tits exist.

- Therefore, God exists.

Congratulations, Boro Nut. You have succeeded where millenia of theologians have failed!

Yes, but would God's tits be omni-tits? Could God make Her breasts so big she couldn't create a bra to contain them? Is Hell then the absense of God's tits?

I need canonical answers, man!

Barcode · 07-31-2003, 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jobar
- God is maximally great.

- Tits are maximally great.

- Therefore, God is tits.

- Tits exist.

- Therefore, God exists.

Congratulations, Boro Nut. You have succeeded where millenia of theologians have failed!

ROFL!!!

Even the believers I know have told me they don't think God is really communicating with them ... they just kind of " hope " ...

Whispers · 07-31-2003, 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Boro Nut
God never speaks to me in my sleep like he did with all those OT prophets. He's nowhere to be seen in my dreams, not unless he has big tits and likes me to come in his mouth. I do often wake up with a stiff neck though, and I seem to remember he doesn't like that for some reason. Could that be the problem? It's not because I'm not listening in my sleep, just that our lass likes the window open. Do you think he would be more likely to speak to me if I slept in a tent?

Boro Nut

He he he.....what would you do, if he did speak?

Jamie_L · 07-31-2003, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Demigawd
Wait a moment! I thought Christianity had the clause that if you and that someone are in a heterosexual marriage, and you're doing it for the sake of multiplying, then pleasure is ok.

It's ok, but it's not good. If people aren't good and godly enough to take on the celebate life of a monk or nun, then they are allowed to indulged their weakness within the confines of a heterosexual marriage. But it's not good. It's just the lesser of evils. If it wasn't for that darn Adam and Eve, there wouldn't be any pleasure with sex. In fact, there wouldn't even need to be any sex, because no one would ever die, no new people would be necessary.

Pleasure is bad. Bad, bad, bad. Sins of the earthly flesh. In heaven there will be no sex. Understand. No sex.

Jamie

Barcode · 07-31-2003, 06:38 AM

Jamie:

Quote:

"good result" = God did it.
"Bad result" = You did it.

This thinking amongst many theists winds me up no end. How many times have you heard someone say " I thankgod for my life, my job, my spouse blah blah " but when somebody dies, or if they lose the job ... it is *never* God's fault.

Interestingly, these are the people who claim we have free will and God can't interfere ... but he can of course intervene to perfom the occasional miracle or to grant a few more positive wishes.

I guess God was so busy doing his duties he forgot to endow a few million of us with a sense of reason ....

cpickett · 07-31-2003, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Boro Nut
God never speaks to me in my sleep like he did with all those OT prophets. He's nowhere to be seen in my dreams, not unless he has big tits and likes me to come in his mouth. I do often wake up with a stiff neck though, and I seem to remember he doesn't like that for some reason. Could that be the problem? It's not because I'm not listening in my sleep, just that our lass likes the window open. Do you think he would be more likely to speak to me if I slept in a tent?

Boro Nut

It's not that God isn't talking to you, it's that you are thinking of the wrong one, the one true God[tm] is a hot blonde...

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07-30-2003, 06:03 PM	#13
Jobar Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: secularcafe.org Posts: 9,525	- God is maximally great. - Tits are maximally great. - Therefore, God is tits. - Tits exist. - Therefore, God exists. Congratulations, Boro Nut. You have succeeded where millenia of theologians have failed!

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