Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Baidarka · 01-20-2003, 01:38 PM

How to turn water into wine as a wedding party trick for fun and profit.

Fill an amphora � to the top with wine. Then pour molten bees wax into the amphora to form a skin seal on top of the wine. Fill the rest of the amphora with water. At the wedding do not let on that you are a paid entertainer. Pretend to be one of the guests. Just as the party gets going have one of the servants announce �We have run out of wine!� Then have someone announce that you can magically fix the problem. That someone could even be your Mother, but that would be so very uncool. Act modest make the crowd coax you. Pretend that maybe you can�t do it. Finally you give in and announce that you will try to turn water into wine. First you order the servants to pour some liquid from the amphora into a cup (use clear glass if you can get it) Show every one that it is clear water. Get a trusted member of the wedding party to taste the water (a grandmother or a child). Get them to testify that it is water. Now you are ready. First produce a magic wand from under your cloak. Then wave the wand and say the magic incantations ending with the blessing for wine. After you say�boray prea hagouphen� (please excuse my attempt at transliteration) and the wedding party answers �Aaa-maaain� thrust the wand into the top of the amphora breaking the wax seal and stirring the water and wine together. Now you can say that �The Lord God has changed our water into wine, Let�s Party!�

cfgauss · 01-20-2003, 05:29 PM

There's an easy way! "Hey, look over there!" (swaps glasses)

happyboy · 01-20-2003, 06:27 PM

praise JESUS! now i, too, with simple sleight of hand, can perform the same miracles jesus did...except he OBVIOUSLY did them WITHOUT sleight of hand tricks like this.

happyboy, savior of the creationists

muon · 01-21-2003, 01:57 PM

Honest question: have you tried this yourself? Did the wax float on top of the wine and make a skin, or did it sink?

cfgauss · 01-21-2003, 05:16 PM

Or maybe he just dumped powdered wine into water?

Dark Jedi · 01-21-2003, 05:21 PM

This topic is not , well, topical.
transferring to Misc religious discussions.

Powdered wine?

Starboy · 01-21-2003, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dark Jedi
This topic is not , well, topical.
transferring to Misc religious discussions.

Powdered wine?

of course, just add wine!

cfgauss · 01-21-2003, 06:33 PM

Yea, why not?!

Shake · 01-22-2003, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cfgauss
There's an easy way! "Hey, look over there!" (swaps glasses)

Ha ha ha! Reminds me of that episode of South Park where Jesus is trying to outdo David Blaine.

"OK, now turn around ... t..t... turn around."
*switches pitcher of water with pitcher of wine*
"Voila! The water has become wine!"
Stan: "Dude, you just switched the pitchers!"
Jesus: "Hmm... that used to work."

01-22-2003, 07:42 AM

Involution-evolution and the wine that Jesus made is evolution.

01-20-2003, 01:38 PM	#1
Baidarka Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: NYC Posts: 590	How to turn water into wine. How to turn water into wine as a wedding party trick for fun and profit. Fill an amphora � to the top with wine. Then pour molten bees wax into the amphora to form a skin seal on top of the wine. Fill the rest of the amphora with water. At the wedding do not let on that you are a paid entertainer. Pretend to be one of the guests. Just as the party gets going have one of the servants announce �We have run out of wine!� Then have someone announce that you can magically fix the problem. That someone could even be your Mother, but that would be so very uncool. Act modest make the crowd coax you. Pretend that maybe you can�t do it. Finally you give in and announce that you will try to turn water into wine. First you order the servants to pour some liquid from the amphora into a cup (use clear glass if you can get it) Show every one that it is clear water. Get a trusted member of the wedding party to taste the water (a grandmother or a child). Get them to testify that it is water. Now you are ready. First produce a magic wand from under your cloak. Then wave the wand and say the magic incantations ending with the blessing for wine. After you say�boray prea hagouphen� (please excuse my attempt at transliteration) and the wedding party answers �Aaa-maaain� thrust the wand into the top of the amphora breaking the wax seal and stirring the water and wine together. Now you can say that �The Lord God has changed our water into wine, Let�s Party!�

01-21-2003, 05:21 PM	#6
Dark Jedi Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Afghanistan Posts: 4,666	Moved This topic is not , well, topical. transferring to Misc religious discussions. Powdered wine?

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

01-20-2003, 05:29 PM	#2
cfgauss Regular Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: USA Posts: 108	There's an easy way! "Hey, look over there!" (swaps glasses)

01-20-2003, 06:27 PM	#3
happyboy Regular Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: on the border between here and there, WV Posts: 373	praise JESUS! now i, too, with simple sleight of hand, can perform the same miracles jesus did...except he OBVIOUSLY did them WITHOUT sleight of hand tricks like this. happyboy, savior of the creationists

01-21-2003, 01:57 PM	#4
muon Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 1,767	Honest question: have you tried this yourself? Did the wax float on top of the wine and make a skin, or did it sink?

01-21-2003, 05:16 PM	#5
cfgauss Regular Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: USA Posts: 108	Or maybe he just dumped powdered wine into water?

01-21-2003, 06:33 PM	#8
cfgauss Regular Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: USA Posts: 108	Yea, why not?!

01-22-2003, 07:42 AM	#10
Amos Guest Posts: n/a	Involution-evolution and the wine that Jesus made is evolution.

Freethought & Rationalism Archive

The archives are read only.