wade-w

This looks more liks MF&P to me.

Sabine Grant

Bonjour Amos... nice to see you again ! I think most adults have a pretty clear idea of what physical pleasure a sexual relation should provide. The word " orgasm" is not a taboo anylonger. The silent and frustrated woman has evolved into an informed 21 st century woman who is going to order Viagra for her failing partner!
I think the idea of satisfaction is almost instintive. Plus one has to be realistic that masturbation is a common practise and it does reveal to the still virgin male or female a sense of sexual satisfaction.
In other words..... I do not believe that males or females who have not experienced a sexual relation do not know what satisfaction means.
Of course we are talking about physical satisfaction. Factors such as the emotional drive can make a sexual relation " blah" or " waouh!". Are we still on topic? hehehehehehe.

The forbidden fruit ? was it really about Adam and Eve having sex? do religious people still hold to that idea?

Felstorm

And this my dear atheist freinds. Is why we should ALL have sex before getting married.

(Hi Felstorm, we ask that you either post excerpts of copyrighted text (not the whole article) or insert a link to the article. thanks, Michael)

Calzaer

Truly a statement that could only come from a sexually inexperienced person.

Which I think is part of the problem.

Those of us who KNOW sex, who've HAD sex with multiple partners, and NOT felt too guilty about it to analyze the sensations later, know for a fact that there are people for whom there is great romantic attraction but absolutely no sexual chemistry.

What happens if the male is simply too well endowed for the female? Making love is painful for both of them, and there's no medication or surgury to solve that problem. So if either of them ever wanted to raise a family, well, too bad. Shoulda had him drop his trousers before the wedding night, because now they'll die without ever making a full attempt at sexual intimacy.

What happens if the male decides he just doesn't like sex all that much, and the female wants it all the time? Fights, fights, fights. Too bad; you shoulda known that before walking down the aisle. Now the woman will have to spend the rest of her life practically raping her husband while he counts the cracks in the celing.

And those are just a couple of the most obvious problems that modern science has no interest in rectifying. In spite of what Paul and the Dope-of-a-Pope would have you believe, sexual compatibility and intimacy is vitally important in a deep relationship. Otherwise you may as well just stay friends and marry someone else.

There are times when the problem is MUCH less obvious. I've been in relationships where the sex was just not good at all. We could never figure out why. We'd try all sorts of nifty new things, but we just didn't work well together. You talk about counciling and such... that involves someone changing. Who gets to be re-shaped into the sexual partner the other person wants? Do you draw straws? Sexual personality is much like real personality, and there are cases were two personalities just simply don't match up, no matter how much discussion and compromise is made.

Oh well, too bad. N0 intim4cy for j00... FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

JamesKrieger

I don't know what my girlfriend was using at the time...I never asked. She is on the pill with me so there's no spermicides or condoms being used.

I'm all for trying to work out sexual problems before giving up. But you can't assume that sexual problems can always be worked out. As Calzaer said, for example, what if the man is too well endowed? This is something that sexual practice or counseling cannot take care of.

But don't you agree that it would be better to work as many of these issues out as possible before marriage? Some, obviously, can't be worked out before marriage....but things like how children are raised are things that can be discussed before marriage.

Note that I retracted in my second post and said that it should be up to the individual couple.

JamesKrieger

My girlfriend and I have found that we are emotionally, mentally, and intellectually compatible. However, at first, the sex was a struggle....and it caused problems early on in our relationship. We were able to work them out. But what if we weren't able to work them out? Let's say that we were married. Then we either would've ended up divorced, or would've been stuck in a marriage of increasing resentment towards each other. Like it or not, a satisfying sexual relationship is an important component to many marriages. That's the reality of the situation.

Loren Pechtel

We don't have medicine for all allergies. Even the prescription stuff only partially blocks the reaction. For some of us it does nothing at all.
Furthermore, some allergies can kill. Seen those ads on TV for Epi-Pen? That's emergency treatment for severe reactions.

I have heard of such allergies--the man always has to wear a condom. Pregnancy is basically impossible even if they risk the reaction--her immune system will attack the sperm.

Loren Pechtel

However, wouldn't it be better to find out the problem before a major emotional bond formed?

HelenM

But does this really happen or is it simply something men fantasize about?

I do agree it's best to do all you can before marriage to check whether you're likely to run into 'irreconcilable' differences. However, I think this is about general attitude rather than specifics such as sex. I don't believe that the sexual relationship in a marriage will make or break it if the rest of the marriage is on a good basis - if the husband and wife love each other and are committed to doing what they can to help each other be happy and to keep the marriage strong. So I don't think that needs to be 'tested' beforehand. I think the husband and wife will work out that part of their marriage just fine, if they both want to, even if they are both virgins when they get married.

Fair enough - and I did say that what you do is up to you (you and your partner, that is).

Helen

Calzaer

Oh, it happens.

I still have nightmares.

And it's not the man's fault (read: my fault) in this case. I'm pretty average. The woman in question was very... um... smaller than average.

When it takes two hours of foreplay and 5 minutes of pressing foward verrrry slowly just to get a couple inches inside, sex is going to be a serious problem.

But YES, it does happen where it's the man's fault, too. A buddy of mine in high school measured his with a ruler in front of the entire locker room. 9 inches long, 2.5 inches wide. Not around, WIDE. Diameter, not circumference. I've had sex with quite a few women, and not one of them would have been able to handle that.

By way of comparison, three fingers is about 2 inches wide. Only a woman who masturbates with 4 fingers would be able to accomodate his girth. I have no idea what the length number means, only that it made the rest of us feel very sad and small.