Freethought & Rationalism Archive

snoiduspoitus · 08-14-2003, 02:10 PM

My son just came back from riding bike and told me about a new sign someone just posted a mile from my rural home. I could deal with this provided it is posted on a paid for billboard or on private land, (like multiple others around here) but there it is - nailed directly onto an electrical pole on the state road r/w:

"JESUS IS COMING. ARE YOU READY?"

I predict that this sign will be removed shortly by persons unknown, but the more I think about it, I thought perhaps a sign directly underneath it would be more appropriate. I'm leaning toward something like:

"Bwa haa haa!!! 2000 years and counting".

I think I'll try to get a chuckle out of it while the getting's good, rather than pay a visit with a hammer. My other thought was to paint over the 'Are you ready?' part, and replace it with 'Shall I spit or swallow?'

I even thought perhaps I'd simply post the numbers from any of a number of offensive bible passages and make people look it up as a good gag. I don't know, maybe something about how to beat your children or handle your slaves. Something absurd from Hosea or Leviticus perhaps. Hell, this is too good to pass up.

Toto · 08-14-2003, 02:23 PM

I like "Jesus is coming - Look busy" myself.

"Spit or swallow" - if this is a public relations ploy as opposed to personal revenge, best to avoid obscenities or sexual innuendo (not that the fundies would get that, I'm sure,)

Shadowy Man · 08-14-2003, 02:30 PM

Jesus is coming.

But will he pull out?

snoiduspoitus · 08-14-2003, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Toto
I like "Jesus is coming - Look busy" myself.

"Spit or swallow" - if this is a public relations ploy as opposed to personal revenge, best to avoid obscenities or sexual innuendo (not that the fundies would get that, I'm sure,)

Agreed on the spit or swallow deal, although I've not the least idea who put the sign up. No revenge here, just public property issues. No need to look like a jerk. I want to be witty as opposed to rude.

Mageth · 08-14-2003, 02:55 PM

"JESUS IS COMING. ARE YOU READY?"

Underneath:

"It's too late for a condom if you're not!"

or

"Coming together is so much fun!"

Rusting Car Bumper · 08-14-2003, 06:31 PM

"Jesus is coming. Hide the stash."

DC

dangin · 08-15-2003, 06:37 AM

Jesus is coming, and he knows you were only paying lipservice.

SLD · 08-15-2003, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by snoiduspoitus

"JESUS IS COMING. ARE YOU READY?"

Outside of Birmingham, we have that billboard. I'd love to get a picture of it. There's a stern looking Jesus staring down and saying "Jesus is coming. Are you ready?" It just makes me shudder that people take that seriously.

How about this reply: "And how the hell do you know?"

SLD

Calzaer · 08-16-2003, 01:12 AM

I like "2000 years and counting" myself. Especially if you could do it like one of those old-timey baseball scoreboards, where you can change the numbers.

Tony · 08-16-2003, 10:14 AM

I like to compare religious propaganda to the communist propaganda in the former Soviet Union.

As kids 9-14 years old we were part of children communist organization "Pioneers". Our major slogan was:

"Pioneers, be ready to fight for the goals of the Communist Party!"

We had to answer:

"Always ready!"

Isn't it similar?

08-14-2003, 02:10 PM	#1
snoiduspoitus Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Minnesota Posts: 1,613	Jesus is coming. Are you ready? My son just came back from riding bike and told me about a new sign someone just posted a mile from my rural home. I could deal with this provided it is posted on a paid for billboard or on private land, (like multiple others around here) but there it is - nailed directly onto an electrical pole on the state road r/w: "JESUS IS COMING. ARE YOU READY?" I predict that this sign will be removed shortly by persons unknown, but the more I think about it, I thought perhaps a sign directly underneath it would be more appropriate. I'm leaning toward something like: "Bwa haa haa!!! 2000 years and counting". I think I'll try to get a chuckle out of it while the getting's good, rather than pay a visit with a hammer. My other thought was to paint over the 'Are you ready?' part, and replace it with 'Shall I spit or swallow?' I even thought perhaps I'd simply post the numbers from any of a number of offensive bible passages and make people look it up as a good gag. I don't know, maybe something about how to beat your children or handle your slaves. Something absurd from Hosea or Leviticus perhaps. Hell, this is too good to pass up.

08-16-2003, 10:14 AM	#10
Tony Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 197	Always ready! I like to compare religious propaganda to the communist propaganda in the former Soviet Union. As kids 9-14 years old we were part of children communist organization "Pioneers". Our major slogan was: "Pioneers, be ready to fight for the goals of the Communist Party!" We had to answer: "Always ready!" Isn't it similar?

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08-14-2003, 02:23 PM	#2
Toto Contributor Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Los Angeles area Posts: 40,549	I like "Jesus is coming - Look busy" myself. "Spit or swallow" - if this is a public relations ploy as opposed to personal revenge, best to avoid obscenities or sexual innuendo (not that the fundies would get that, I'm sure,)

08-14-2003, 02:30 PM	#3
Shadowy Man Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: A Shadowy Planet Posts: 7,585	Jesus is coming. But will he pull out?

08-14-2003, 02:55 PM	#5
Mageth Contributor Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Deep in the heart of mother-lovin' Texas Posts: 29,689	"JESUS IS COMING. ARE YOU READY?" Underneath: "It's too late for a condom if you're not!" or "Coming together is so much fun!"

08-14-2003, 06:31 PM	#6
Rusting Car Bumper Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: U.S. Posts: 4,171	"Jesus is coming. Hide the stash." DC

08-15-2003, 06:37 AM	#7
dangin Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: The Middle, Kansas Posts: 2,637	Jesus is coming, and he knows you were only paying lipservice.

08-16-2003, 01:12 AM	#9
Calzaer Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,762	I like "2000 years and counting" myself. Especially if you could do it like one of those old-timey baseball scoreboards, where you can change the numbers.

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