Clutch

Something I wrote last year...

Your next door neighbour one day hears a voice in his head. The voice says, "God commands you to tie up your son and slit his throat. Show your obedience by doing this."

He ties up his son, as the neighbours gather on their front lawns and watch in horror. But then, just when he's about to slaughter the boy, he hears another voice in his head.

"Congratulations! Because you were genuinely willing to murder your son, you don't have to. Kill that cat for me, instead." He grabs a passing cat who's got tangled in his rosebushes, and slits its throat.

Then he turns to the gathered people, and shouts, "I have been appointed Patriarch of this suburb, on account of my great holiness. We are to leave this shoddy neighbourhood, and go in search of one that God has given us.

"We will recognize it by how nice it is -- any place answering the description, "suburb flowing with milk and honey", well, that one's ours. God commands us to raid that suburb, kill its men in battle, keep its virgin women for ourselves, and massacre everyone else. Then we move in, and the place is ours. Who is with me, and with God?!"

In response you say (choose one or more):

(a) Has old Abie next door gone off his meds again?

(b) That was my cat, you fucking lunatic!

(c) This God you speak of is obviously a god for all people, including the ones we are to kill and enslave. He is clearly a god of infinite love, mercy and wisdom. Let us find this suburb he has given to us, and show our godliness by lovingly, mercifully and wisely butchering its inhabitants and stealing their houses! Lead us!


In case anyone wants to see this in a slighty more explicitly argumentative form: As I understand morality (and as you do, too!) genuinely intending to murder your son is wrong. And requiring that someone murder his son is wrong. And butchering an agrarian population to steal their land is wrong. Hence, that such a story represent the establishment and implementation of a holy covenant with a morally perfect creator is crazy.

Further to the point, the whole thing is crazy; that's what the present-tense presentation is for. Imagine it happening tomorrow, in your neighbourhood, and it's just one more sad reminder of how screwed-up people can be. But factor in the "long, long ago, in a faraway land of miracles" effect, and the "We learned it in Sunday School" effect, and Presto! It all makes sense.

onegreatperson

{omitted}

That sounds just like the christian "god". Let's see....okay. My answer is: You killed my fucking cat, then I would cry, as I proceeded to call the local mental institution to have you submitted.
Okay so I am a bit prickish, but the point is. If God would have it that he could create life and create death, then god is accomplishing nothing, and that goes to show the mentality of the christian, accomplishing nothing.
<img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" />

ogp, this forum is for fairly intellectual discussions concerning the existence of god(s), and though I can agree that some of the ideas expressed here make me want to chant curses, this forum isn't the place. Go to Rants&Raves, like I do when I need to let off steam. Jobar.

[ November 13, 2002: Message edited by: Jobar ]</p>

Fiach

I would call the Ur police and the Chaldaean Child Protective Department to come over and arrest the crazy arsed wanker for child abuse, and attempted murder. Of course in Bronze Age Ur, they have a simple penal code, capital punishment for everything.

A troop of nasty looking blokes with bronze swords and axes come over, and interrogate Abe. Chaldaean interrogation consists of beating the living shite out of the witness, and taking his confession before he dies. Then they pronounce sentence and perform radical neck surgery on Abe.

Without his head, it is unlikely that Abe will lead any of us to the promised land. And millions of men, women, children, and babies will instead live to grow up. And a million virgins will stay virgins, at least until Spring Break.

Did you hear about the modern day American prophet who decided to sacrifice a virgin to God (JHWH aka Joe Hovah)? He began his quest 30 years ago, but unfortunately he lives in California and is still looking for a virgin.

Fiach