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Old 08-27-2002, 06:25 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: WI
Posts: 290
Post Keep the cash comin'

Years ago, my then fiance & I attended my mother's church, thinking it would make her happy if we got married there. We never told her that's what we were thinking--which was good, because after a couple of weeks, we couldn't take it anymore. Nevertheless, the church still sends us The Arrow, the so-called monthly newsletter. I don't cancel because it has some nominal amusement value.
This church is located in a small, affluent suburb of Milwaukee. To give you an idea of how affluent it is, quite a few of the homes are located on densely wooded lots, on private, unmarked roads. The local fire department recently requested that signs be put up so they could identify homes in case of an emergency. The homeowners opposed them & prevailed. The membership of my mother's church is derived mainly from these surrounding homes.
August's Arrow is chock full of items like "The communion bread is covered for the year, but still no sponsors have come forward forward to assume the cost of altar candles & votives, & communion wime for the entire year. The quarterly cost of altar supplies is as follows: Altar wine--$85, main altar. Candles--$85, chapel & shrine. Candles--$35, & sanctuary candle. Light--$25." Added to this are myriad requests for someone to water the flowers, sponsor the "meet & greet" with donuts & juice, make the after-church coffee, join the altar guild, be an usher, be a reader, do some office work, be a member of the vestry, teach sunday school, be a member of the prayer chain & of course, PLEDGE because, as George Carlin so aptly put it, "He's all powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, & all-wise, & somehow just can't handle money!" Last but not least, you are encouraged to support the church baseball team, the Saints. They are affiliated with a bar, this being the same bar that the priest's son, upon leaving, was pulled over & arrested for DUI. A final curiosity is the "God Speaks" billboard, which says, "Don't make me come down there--God". (I thought he was planning on coming down anyway?)
While I have no problem with these people not giving enough money to this church (I don't think they should be giving it any) this is just so typical. They are the ones with the excess disposable income. The church doesn't even have A/C. These hypocrites make themselves feel good by going downtown around xmas & buttering some bread at a soup kitchen. And just what the hell good is this priest doing? He spends his time refereeing between a bunch of rich, self-important church ladies, with the odd visit to a person in the hospital now & then. He drives an MG midget convertible.
What a thoroughly contemptible bunch.
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