Freethought & Rationalism Archive

ecco · 01-11-2002, 11:45 AM

For lack of anything better to do, I did a google search on Evilution. One site was here: <a href="http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/evilution.htm" target="_blank">http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/evilution.htm</a> containing:

On the Theory of Evilution
by Kenneth Riven

I read it twice and I�m still not sure if it�s sarcasm or the guy is a genuine nutcase.

pug846 · 01-11-2002, 12:02 PM

Go to his main site - He has some pretty funny articles.

You could tell right away it was a parady because there weren't any spelling erorrs and the grammar was good.

Coragyps · 01-11-2002, 12:11 PM

The piece about the housewife being sued for $52.5 million by CBS because she didn't watch Survivor is pretty cute. Do you think I might be next?

LeftCoast · 01-11-2002, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ecco:
For lack of anything better to do, I did a google search on Evilution. One site was here: <a href="http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/evilution.htm" target="_blank">http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/evilution.htm</a> containing:

On the Theory of Evilution
by Kenneth Riven

I read it twice and I’m still not sure if it’s sarcasm or the guy is a genuine nutcase.

It's sarcasm, the following line from the 'Evilution' page pretty much confirms it:

Quote:

The Theory of Evilution, as I understand it, is the theory that modern man evolved from Monkees, and modern woman evolved from elephants.

and

Quote:

It defies all logic. The Theory of Evilution and all its supporting scientific evidence has never been able to stand up to the mounds of Biblical evidence it opposes. First of all, evilution in no way explains morals. Nor does it explain churches, marriage, Noah, or the existence of fat people. It also doesn't explain how man could have evolved from Monkees in plain, simple english I can understand. Instead, it relies on conjecture, archeology, fossils, and layers of thick scientific jargon I can't find in my Christian House Dictionary.

There are some other choice ones that I found under the column on the home-page alledgedly by "Michael Eagan".

For Example in the article <a href="http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/beingdad5.htm" target="_blank">Being a Dad</a>

Quote:

.... I would like to urge everyone reading this – mothers, fathers, soldiers, members of the media – to stop for just a moment and think of the children.

There are estimated to be over 50 million Arab children in Afghanistan. If during the coming campaign our military forces don’t take proactive action to wipe them out, we could see most if not all of them grow up to be Arab adults. Think about that for a moment: 50 million MORE Arabs! When nineteen can bring down the two tallest buildings in the New York City skyline, I shudder to think about what 50 million more could do.

Our government needs to target areas where Arab children congregate and organize; playgrounds, elementary schools, zoos, parks, Wal-Marts, are all good places to start. .....

And from the Article <a href="http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/beingdad4.htm" target="_blank">Christian Medicine</a>

Quote:

As I was waking my children up for school last Friday, Isaiah rolled over to face me and groaned. His eyes were puffy and his hair clung to his forhead with sweat, and he said to me those three little words no father likes to hear: Daddy, I'm sick. My heart sank. I picked up his limp, warm body, set him gently in my lap, and gave him a long, deserved spanking. I had suspected for a few weeks that Isaiah may have been touching himself at night, and this finally confirmed it. I explained to him that a cold like this was God's punishment for doing wicked things with his penis, and after a prayer, I sent him on his way to school with a note for his teacher to read to the class explaining that he was a masturbator.

Now, if I were a man who didn't have a close relationship to God and a narrow interpretation of the Bible, I would probably have carted my son off to the local HMO to see a pediatrician and then fork over an outrageous co-payment for penicillin or some other such snake oil that doesn't work one-tenth as well as Christian prayer and public shaming. But fortunately, God's love and guidance has helped me see though such corporate chicanery. My hard-earned money belongs in the church collection plate, not in some bottle of antibiotics for a brat who can't resist rubbing his genitals like a zoo monkey.

[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: LeftCoast ]

DarkBronzePlant · 01-11-2002, 02:13 PM

Not only that, but the theory of evilution was created " Racist Communist Nazi Satanist Babykiller Charles Darwin"...

trunks2k · 01-11-2002, 03:19 PM

I love this site! Anybody go to the links for kids in the bottom right hand corner of the main page? what great links

Quote:

The Anarchist's Cookbook - Hey kids, wanna know how to make a bomb? Counterfeit money? Tamper with brakes? Hurt/kill your friends? The Anarchist's Cookbook has all the information you need.

Links to Free Gay Porn - Mommy, how do gay people fuck? This link provides a definitive listing of many free gay porn sites on the web featuring all imaginable types of gay sex. For educational purposes/artistic study only.

Rough Riders - What little boy doesn't want to grow up to be a cowboy? Find out what the Wild Wild West is really all about.

Dead Pets Society - Delightful and uplifting poetry dedicated to people's dead pets.

Careers - Don't know yet what you want to be when you grow up? Why not check out these links profiling various career paths. You, too, will be a member of the work force someday.

Steve's Hash Kitchen - Why not bake mom some brownies for an extra-special Mother's Day treat?

The Ku Klux Klan - No, Timmy, those aren't ghosts...they're racists!

Gayfarm.com - Free guy-monkey pics! Monkeys are adorable!

Some of the links don't work tho. The one about careers and rough riders is supposed to go to some gay sites

[ January 11, 2002: Message edited by: trunks2k ]

crocodile deathroll · 01-12-2002, 02:32 AM

Well for a start it was really not entirely Darwin's theory at all. The world had reached such an epidemiological flashpoint with the discovery in the 1850s of the gorilla, and natural historian exploring the natural world with renewed frenzied vigor there were many others paralleling Darwin's thinking at the time. The most notable was Alfred Wallace stationed at Malaya. He was totally independent of Darwin and formulated a very similar theory, and even if Darwin died in a shipwreck on his Beagle, then Alfred Wallace would of taken the credit for it. The thing is, Darwin was really in a panic to publish his Origin of a Species because he knew there were many others out there to beat him to the punch.
So we will still have a theory of evolution Darwin or no Darwin because evolution is an intrinsic property of nature, but would we still have Christianity Jesus or no Jesus. I doubt because Christianity is not an intrinsic property of the natural world.

crocodile deathroll

ecco · 01-14-2002, 08:30 AM

Quote:

I read it twice and I�m still not sure if it�s sarcasm or the guy is a genuine nutcase.

�was itself intended sarcastically.

However,

Quote:

The Theory of Evilution, as I understand it, is the theory that modern man evolved from Monkees, and modern woman evolved from elephants.

�does not automatically rule out serious intent. There are those who believe that �Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus�. Hmmm, I wonder if creatinists came from Pluto, that might explain their far out thinking.

[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: ecco ]

CodeMason · 01-14-2002, 08:50 AM

It's obviously a humourous article, I found it hilarious.

Valentine Pontifex · 01-14-2002, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkBronzePlant:
Not only that, but the theory of evilution was created " Racist Communist Nazi Satanist Babykiller Charles Darwin"...

I wonder if this is tip of the hat to The Simpson where McBane (the Arnold S-esque actor) took on the "Commie Nazis" when trying to deliver the UNICEF pennies to the needly children.

01-11-2002, 11:45 AM	#1
ecco Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: SE Posts: 4,845	On the Theory of Evilution?!? For lack of anything better to do, I did a google search on Evilution. One site was here: <a href="http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/evilution.htm" target="_blank">http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/evilution.htm</a> containing: On the Theory of Evilution by Kenneth Riven I read it twice and I�m still not sure if it�s sarcasm or the guy is a genuine nutcase.

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01-11-2002, 12:02 PM	#2
pug846 Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Somewhere Posts: 1,587	Go to his main site - He has some pretty funny articles. You could tell right away it was a parady because there weren't any spelling erorrs and the grammar was good.

01-11-2002, 12:11 PM	#3
Coragyps Veteran Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Snyder,Texas,USA Posts: 4,411	The piece about the housewife being sued for $52.5 million by CBS because she didn't watch Survivor is pretty cute. Do you think I might be next?

01-11-2002, 02:13 PM	#5
DarkBronzePlant Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: San Francisco, CA USA Posts: 3,568	Not only that, but the theory of evilution was created " Racist Communist Nazi Satanist Babykiller Charles Darwin"...

01-12-2002, 02:32 AM	#7
crocodile deathroll Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Darwin Posts: 1,466	Well for a start it was really not entirely Darwin's theory at all. The world had reached such an epidemiological flashpoint with the discovery in the 1850s of the gorilla, and natural historian exploring the natural world with renewed frenzied vigor there were many others paralleling Darwin's thinking at the time. The most notable was Alfred Wallace stationed at Malaya. He was totally independent of Darwin and formulated a very similar theory, and even if Darwin died in a shipwreck on his Beagle, then Alfred Wallace would of taken the credit for it. The thing is, Darwin was really in a panic to publish his Origin of a Species because he knew there were many others out there to beat him to the punch. So we will still have a theory of evolution Darwin or no Darwin because evolution is an intrinsic property of nature, but would we still have Christianity Jesus or no Jesus. I doubt because Christianity is not an intrinsic property of the natural world. crocodile deathroll

01-14-2002, 08:50 AM	#9
CodeMason Regular Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Australia Posts: 226	It's obviously a humourous article, I found it hilarious.

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