Proxima Centauri

The adult Christian fundies may be trying to make you angry. If they succeed this will ‘prove’ in their irrational fundy minds that you really are with Satan. Stay calm and ignore it when the girls talk cr*p about ‘Praising Jesus’ or ‘Fury to God’ etc.



Find out if the girls like ballet. If they like ballet look for an alternative secular ballet school with better facilities which the girls will enjoy. If the girls don’t like ballet talk to them, ask them what they would like to do and enroll them in some alternative sport or dance which they like more.



This is my post no. 666. Here's more about it!

Vicar Philip

Wow, I didn't realize how long it's been since I looked at this thread.

We've fallen back into a comfort zone that I hope stays put. She is making progress in her classes to deal with the anger she still harbors against her mother. I have backed off from the "angry atheist" I was at the beginning of this ordeal, and am now much more comfortable discussing religion with her.

In fact, a few nights ago we came back from getting groceries and sat in the van for about a half hour talking about things. She mentioned that we had received a newsletter from the church where our former pastor presides, and in it he had written an article about Easter. It bothered her that he would write such a piece when she knew he didn't believe it. I told her I couldn't speak for him, but yes, it isn't entirely honest; he tries to use words that feel right to the general congregation, but still reflect his actual views. What a slippery slope that must be.

She also told me it bothered her that if she were ever in a bad accident, she knew I wouldn't be praying to god for her recovery. I then brought up some previous conversations we have had, where she admitted she didn't know for certain that praying actually helps make people better. She does know it makes HER feel better, and I said that was fine. My argument to her was, if I hope and wish that she gets better, or if I pray to god that she gets better, neither way is guarenteed to work. So what is the difference? She said she didn't know, but that if I prayed it would make her feel better. I told her I doubted I'd do that, but I'd be in the hospital room with her every second because I loved her. I didn't jump down her throat about the praying thing, because at this point it really doesn't bother me like it used to.

I think it's also helped that her workload has returned to a more normal 40 hours a week, so we actually see each other more often! She thought that the crazy work schedule may have contributed more to our problems than she ever thought. I thought so too, but I'm just thankful that our crises seem to have abated. It sure did suck there for a while.

Hope everyone is well. I'll check back in later.

Darren

beth

Darren, I am glad that things seem to be working out. I commend you for making a go of things.

HelenM

I'm glad too Darren. Thanks for posting the update. I was wondering how things were going between you and your wife.

Helen

Bree

Hi brettc, and apologies to Vicar Phillip for momentarily derailing his thread -

Could you please tell me a little bit more about this ballet "ministry" your wife has enrolled your children in? Also perhaps the ages of your children, as well? It has been my opinion (I am a ballet dancer) that the great majority of liturgically based ballet programs are poorly taught (with the exception of the Ballet Magnificat, which is still not as good as it could be, and is a sad excuse for the art form). I'd love to hear what kind of things your children participate in, and how God is worked into the program. Especially when the Bible says that women in particular are not allowed to dance .

southernhybrid

I'm very happy to hear that things are working out so well for the two of you. Have things worked out for your oldest child? I remember you were having some difficulties with his behavior awhile back. I hope things have settled down some for him too.

seebs

If people in general were as committed to their relationships as you are to yours, "divorce" would be a theoretical construct of law, on the books for completeness alone.

Vicar Philip

At the risk of hearing "I told you so," it seems the Vicar aeroplane has hit some turbulence in the vicinity of Holy Heaven.

I am contemplating changing jobs, and my wife and I have had several discussions about it. Part of the decision hinges on a new business plan for our station which the general manager has pitched. When I started here I was promised X amount of dollars, and wound up working for $4K a year less with the promise of it getting bumped last July. The state tightened its belt and I didn't get it. So now I might get it, but don't know yet.

The other opportunity I have is for Field Service for a transmitter manufacturer, but it would be about 30% domestic and international travel, not to mention better pay.

So anyway, we were discussing it again last night, and right before the conversation turned VERY cold, she said I should pray about it. I told her I didn't need to, the person I needed guidance from was HER, not god.

This didn't bode well. The conversation went rapidly downhill. At one point she told me I should keep my present job, as I would need my family for support in a few years. WTF? Oh yes, she's dragging out the implied divorce threats again, and I called her on it. She insisted she still needs me, but apparently not enough to stop referring to some unknown date in the future when she plans on leaving me. Bullshit.

Finally she told me that if she ever wound up in a hospital room from an accident, she didn't want to be in the room with her JUST BECAUSE I WOULDN'T PRAY FOR HER. Never mind the fact that you'd have to hold a gun to my head to keep me away from her, but now that I won't PRAY for her, I'm not allowed to be near her. I got out of bed, and as I went downstairs, I said "If you don't want me in the same room with you THEN, I don't want to be in the same room with you NOW." So I went downstairs for about 10 minutes. I had a new thought. I went back up and told her, "The only way you will keep me out of that hospital room is if you get up out of the bed and push me out." She didn't say much. We didn't touch all night.

Why is it NOT POSSIBLE for her to stop with the praying shit? To me, praying to her god is equivalent to her praying to Allah. She didn't like that comparison. Why not? Because those Islamic people aren't Christians! Of course, only Christians have it right!

I didn't kiss her goodbye this morning. I don't have much incentive to when she hangs the goddamn black cloud of divorce over my head. Am I wrong here?

beth

I go through this too. I simply don't say I won't pray and bow my head out of respect. My husband seems to cope with my atheism better if he thinks that I at least pray. He calls me up during the day, sometimes to thank me for the prayers that I am not praying. He seems to think that the breeze is something I congured up. Oh well. I woud try very hard to avoid the praying subject. Maybe this job and the distance between the two of you would be a good thing. It would give her time to take up a new pet project.

beth

I am not sure, but how would you feel if something happened to her and you never saw her again? Since I became an atheist, I try really hard not to part on a grudge. I at least kiss my husband goodbye and tell him I love him, even if I'm fuming. I think she is using the divorce card because it gets a rile out of you and gives her some sense of power. I don't know how to get past that one, but I suggest you ignore it and see if that gets the threats to end.