Jat

Many Christians do the same thing with the bible. They are all written in such a way that the reader can make them mean whatever they please. The Qu'ran is even more disjointed than the bible.

Laci

I also read alot about the Islam religion and the differences in how women were treated and expected to behave. But then I got to see it live.
My boss & wife were from Lebanon. Both Muslim. I don't know where to begin. Except he was the boss. And he prayed alot in his office. She'd be there absolutely quiet with him. I could never figure it out til I researched it. She never questioned his authority. Always behaved very respectful of him. And I found out all that jewelry she wore would be his if they divorced.

Then I saw them when they were having problems. I saw him make her sit in the back seat of their van because she misbehaved; I heard her on the phone sobbing because he was angry with her; she always HAD to call him at 3 pm or else she was in for trouble; she tried so hard to hide how she felt about his ridiculous rules.

Women in the Islam religion keep their faces hidden because THE MEN WHO WROTE THE RELIGIOUS BOOK THEY FOLLOW don't want them to get any attention from the opposite sex.
Women can be bought to marry. I think she was. Because she was very beautiful and young and he was portly and old. And she'd said a few times, by accident, she never wanted to leave Lebanon. I could go on and on.

Kuu

^^^ The way he treated her doesn't sound any worse than the way my ex-husband treated me. I wasn't allowed to be outside the house without my husband's permission. I was once beaten for buying myself a pair of stockings. I was beaten because I refused to cook a frozen chicken he bought home at 11 o'clock one night. Of course he wasn't a Muslim so maybe that means that my treatment wasn't that bad. It is only bad when a Muslim is doing the bashing, perhaps? And how come he would get to keep the jewellery, does the law of South Carolina discriminate against Muslim women?

And Aboriginal girls are sold to old men here in Australia. Why isn't there as much fuss about that as there is about the same thing happening in the Muslim world. Do the rest of the world see Aboriginal women as being less important than Muslim women? Or are such things only wrong when they are done in the name of religion as opposed to being done as part of the culture of a people?

Laci

Such things are always wrong. I'm sorry your husband beat you. He sounds a little explosive in personality.
The only reason I mention the Islamic faith, is because I found so much of it written in their religious book. And if the men feel that it is written for religious purposes, then it becomes very widespread.

Why did you allow your husband to control you so much? Is your general nature just easygoing? There's never any good reason for either spouse to beat each other.
I hope you don't let that happen anymore. Sometimes it takes time for we women to get the strength to oppose them and stand up for ourselves. I think it's called becoming mature.
What's Tasmania like?

ps
I tend to be easygoing myself. I can relate. I live with a very controlling person also. Now I just leave the house when I'm treated badly.

Kuu

^^^ I think you would also find much the same things written in the Bible.

Why did I allow my husband to control me so much? What a stupid question. I was terrified of him - isn't that obvious? I did believe he would kill me, and my children, if I tried to leave. It is hard to stand up to someone who is much bigger than you especially when he has threatened you with guns and knives. Do you go around asking teenagers who are battered by their fathers why they don't stand up to their abusers? Would you ask a Muslim woman why she allows her husband to control her so much? It would seem to me that by making such a statement you are putting the blame back on to the woman - 'she allowed the abuse' rather than 'she was powerless to stop the abuse'.

He was wonderful to me before we were married. Most people thought that he was a real nice guy. I was 18 when I married him, he was 25. Men like my ex-husband, start the control off subtly. At first they try to lower the woman's self esteem, making her feel worthless and convincing her she is the responsible for the abuse. Doesn't help when a social worker is telling her the same thing as well. Nor does it help when other people accuse her of 'allowing her man to control her'

Read what I said in an earlier post

Do you really think I 'allowed him to do this'?

The physical abuse didn't really start until I refused to have an abortion. I stood up to him and 2 years of terror began. He was unemployed during that time and was nearly always at home. If he went out he took one of the children with him, if I went out for any reason I had to leave one of the children behind. This was protection against me leaving him, he knew I wouldn't leave without all my children. I also believed, with good reason, that if I left with the children he might gain custody of them (after all the social worker had thought he was a great guy).

I think you should get your nose out of the Koran, which is a book written hundreds of years ago, and instead read some recent studies into the abuse of women. Men who bash women do not do it because it says in the Koran or Bible that they are allowed to. The do it because they need to have power and control - the Bible and Koran are just used to justify some of these men's behaviour - with or without the backing of scripture these men would still be abusers.

Laci

You're taking me all wrong. I know you didn't do anything to deserve anyone to beat you, try to drown you, etc. NEVER!!
Your husband is the one with the low self-esteem. And at times when he felt out of control, for whatever reason, he took it out on you!!!

You deservedly should have feared him with a temper like his. And I'm glad you left him.

There's never an excuse for anyone to verbally, sexually, or physically abuse someone else! NEVER.

I'll read your article now since I have the time.

Kuu

^^^Actually I never left him, he left me. Best day of my life. I was left with thousands of dollars of bills in my name - he bullied me into consolidating the debts in my name a few weeks before he left. I got the children and never received an penny of child support off him. He went onto wife number 3 (I was wife no. 2) - he is now onto wife no. 4, at least that is what his aunt told me.

Laci

What a creep! Four wives. Doesn't that tell us something?
He probably treated all his wives similarly. He should have gone to jail just for some of the things he did to you.

My neighbor had been married 17 years. Two teenage sons. One day, she wasn't living there anymore. Husband was so happy. He even came over to my husband to share the happy news. I know he was verbally abusive just by how he called to her one day while we were talking over the fence. "Hey, you ....................." This was his wife he was talking to. I thought he was talking to me. But she sort of just laughed and continued talking.

Tough for the kids. He ended up in the big house with the kids. While she went to an apartment. I know she couldn't handle the house & kids because he told us she had tried it and it was too much. So they exchanged abodes.

She got her divorce within a year from when she left. And now I can see legally she has visiting rights weekends and evenings, etec. set down from the court. Before that he was always taking care of the kids. Enjoying her being gone. But that changed with the divorce. Good for her!

How is life with you and the kids these days?

Darwin26

a vehicle here... I don't believe that the atrocities perpetrated against women here acrossed the board internationally have anything to do with religion. It's just a handy vehicular excuse in many cases for women slaughter.
These are discompassionate virulent monsters ...who live in fear ...fear of not getting what they want and Fear of loosing what they have ... It's all about the "trophy" of power and control ... steeming from a grossly diminished sense of self.

Women of the World should try to see these passive agressive continums as pathological and learn what the clues are and connect the dots... the patterns are the same world wide.

Jat

We never said that Islam was "kind" to women. All dominance based religions treat women the same. The more primitive the belief system the worse women are treated.