Jayjay

I was wondering... are there any distinct differences between atheists who have deconverted from christianity (or other religions), and atheists who've never had a religion to begin with? I belong to the latter group, and sometimes I think I'm a lousy wannabe atheist because, quite frankly, I've never had much negative experiences with religious folks (apart from the Internet, but that's just me asking for trouble)...

Eudaimonist

Consider yourself fortunate.

fando

I'm a never-have-been and it does seem to me that ex-theists are more outspoken about religion. Also, I find myself expressing sympathy more often than empathy when reading the experiences of ex-theists. This can sometimes lead to akward moments where I blurt out something insensitive without realizing it or offer really bad advice.

I ate Pascal's Wafer

I'm an ex-theist. It does seem that we tend to speak out against religion more. Perhaps this is because theism robbed several years of our lives that we simply can't get back. We were indoctrinated because of Christianity, and we were taught lies as if they were truth because of Christianity. I, at least, feel a certain amount of resentment towards Christianity because of the intelluctual rape I was subjected to for many years.

Never-been-theists haven't experienced such events, so they don't have any hard feelings against something that was never a part of their life. They may feel strongly against the religion because of the effect they have on other people, or because of confrontations with believers, but they haven't had first hand experience with the religion. The strong feelings aren't there, so they are less likely to speak out against it.

Of course I'm making sweeping generalizations here too. Some n-b-t's are very vocal against xianity, and some x-t's don't bother too much with it.

Just my observations...

-Nick
-I'm quite tired right now, so if my grammar and sentence structure is bad I apologize.

Aquila ka Hecate

I'm an ex-theist, and, frankly, I think part of the reason we're more rabid than our 'natural' atheist brethren and sistren is a feeling of disgust with ouselves.

At least, that's what I think it is with me.
A kind of 'how the hell could I have been so stupid/gullible/weird?' reaction.

Of course, there's a little resentment towards a society which tends to condition us from toddlers to belive in such things-but ultimately it is we who bear the responsibility for being part of the theist community and propogating that meme-it makes me feel uncomfortable with my past life, anyhow. I don't know how many other ex-theists feel this way.

(Oh, and my previous life included a very long bout of wicca...I'm now tougher on other wiccans than on christians, probably from the smae guilty motive!)

I ate Pascal's Wafer

Yeah, that too. Whenever I look back and realize that I really believed that stuff I just feel sorry for myself. Whenever I visit home and go to church with the family I see a herd of sheep being led by a shepard, and I realize that I used to be yet another one of the mindless sheep. I kick myself everytime I think about this. Grr...damn xianity for all that.

-Nick

Jamie_L

I'm kind of a hybrid. I was raised with a belief in God, but without any churching or religion. That is, my parents told me about God, but they didn't worry about conditioning me with it, and beyond the occasional discussion of God on holidays, God wasn't really talked about or thought about from day to day. I might call this category ex-theist-never-been-churched.

The result? Well, I had the sort of deconversion-epiphany ("Wow. A universe without God makes so much SENSE."). But otherwise, I think I act more like the never-been-theist crowd. From a practical standpoint, God was never a part of my life.

Jamie

Walter_Mitty

Personally speaking, the more serious you were about your theism, the harder it is to make the transition. At least this has been my case. I recently had the opportunity to hear Dan Barker speak and he said as much. Basically that it’s absurd to think you can give your belief system up over night. I believe it took him the better part of 5 years.

Nonetheless, I suspect that some never do make the break. What still annoys me is that some theists seem to think that one day we [meaning ex-Christians] suddenly decide: "Gee, I think I'll be an atheist."

As for characteristics:

1) Anger because you feel (on many levels) like you've been lied to.

2) Frustration because you can't blame one source for the lies. Paraphrasing Ingersoll from my fallible memory, I believe he said something to the effect that "I can't blame the preacher because he's just repeating what he has been taught by another preacher who has been taught by another preacher whose been taught by..."

4) More frustration because your not quite sure what to do about a system you feel is inherently bad.

5) Guilt, especially if anyone in your family is still a serious theist.

6) Sorrow and more anger because I feel that certain people who are still Christians have not reached their full potential--partially due to Christianity holding them back. (self-actualize) Also, Christianity still makes certain people feel like second-class citizens. Bear in mind I'm referring to some of the denominations here. The ones that still suppress women's rights, homosexuals, etc. Frankly, this so-called good system STILL makes some good people feel pretty bad about themselves.

5) More anger and sorrow because three "religions of peace" (i.e. Islam, Judaism, Christianity) continue to kill each other in the name of their God. Just think what we, as a global community, could have done if we spent all that time, money, and energy on science, art, education, and helping the poor! Instead, we still have three groups that are hell-bent on killing each other and wasting a great amount of human capital.

Jayjay, I wouldn't call you a lousy wanna be atheist. Consider yourself lucky if Christianity hasn't reared its ugly head too much in your life. My wife who was never raised a theist is basically an agnostic. She has all sorts of stories relating to how she has been ostracized by Christians. This usually occurs after she resisted attempts by Christians to convert her.

On a related note, I also get tired of being pegged as the angry atheist/agnostic. As if there was "one" traumatic event that made me mad and based on this event, I gave up Christianity! Forget the years of angst! Forget the years of study! Forget about using my reason! Forget realizing that there were MANY events or observations along the way! Basically, the Christian who believes that is a grade A moron in my opinion. Of course I'm angry and I think I have a right to be. Though it's not anger based on some pre-teen whim.

For those that are ex-theists, I would encourage you to find a local group of freethinkers or similar like minds. I finally did and I must say that actually talking to "in the flesh" people has helped tremendously. Of course, if there aren't any in your area, this place does a pretty good job of providing support.

Perchance

Hi Jayjay,

Not all ex-theists and never-been-theists react the same way. My dad is ex-Catholic, and left the religion as soon as he could, but he mostly ignores discussion of religion. I'm a never-been-theist, and (because of personal and online discussions with Christians who epitomized stupidity) I'm more interested in atheism than he is.

I've felt in the past that perhaps I've missed something by never having been a theist, but it seems as though the inside understanding of religious belief is impossible to separate from the pain it causes, and the pain isn't worth it. I am glad that I was raised without it.

-Perchance.

Rational Ag

I am a never-been-a-theist type guy. I was always just uninterested in conversations about it. I generally grouped theists together with people that believe UFO's visit the earth and people that buy fat-dissolving cream from infomercials.

I have recently become involved and have had to defend myself and my belief system (which was an eye-opening self examination experience I would quickly do again) because my future mother-in-law is a pastor. I was always "live and let live".

So no, you aren't alone. I used to be like you until theism affected my life and my fiance's happiness.

-Rational Ag

-Rational Ag