Treacle Worshipper

That reminded me of this one:
Were you born with happiness or half a knee?

Also: Mississippi is a very hard word, can you spell IT?
TW

Randi

My all-time school favorite:

Why do boys run faster than girls?

Because they have a stick shift and two ball bearings!

This still unaccountably cracks me up

Randi

:notworthy for your brother!

I am going to have to use this with my kids, it will have them rolling on the floor!

trekbette

This one really almost killed me. I told it to my Dad when he was driving and we almost crashed because he couldn't stop laughing. (Please note that I was 5 when I told him this one).

Q. Dad, what's a boobie??

After my very red faced father tried to explain the birds and bees to me for about five minutes I told him the answer.

A. No Dad, it's a bug that hides in flowers and scares bees. Boo Bee!

I'll be here all week.

RED DAVE

From trekbette:

You need to be, standing in the corner, for that terrible joke.

RED DAVE

p.s.

This one killed me when I was a bout ten:

A woman returns to a Chinese laundry to get her stuff, but she forgot her ticket. The laundry guy says, " To tickee, no shirtee."

The woman says, "If I fuck you, can I get my laundry?"

The man agrees, and they go upstairs. He pulls down his pants, but he has a very small dick. The woman says, "No tickee, no shirtee. No prickee, no fuckee!"

Da-da-dum.

Ensign Steve

Is it something to do with half a penis? I feel like I should get it but I'm just missing it. I even said it out loud.

Foofer that straw joke just about killed me!

Buddrow_Wilson

At first I didn't get anything from that, but now I thinking its supposed to sound like 'Were you born with a penis or a fanny?', although that in itself doesn't make alot of sense either.

Catseye

Q - What's big, red and eats rocks?
A - Big red rock-eater.
Q - What's big, green and eats rocks?
A - Ill big red rock-eater.
Q - What's big, blue and eats rocks?
A - Cold big red rock-eater.
Q - What's big, white and eats rocks?
A - Dead big red rock-eater

And so on. It's funny when you're ten.

In the same vein:

Q - What's white and swings through the jungle?
A - A fridge.
Q - What's white and blue and swings through the jungle?
A - A fridge in a denim jacket.

Treacle Worshipper

I thought we might have problems with this...
Fanny is British slang for the female genitalia. Which is why Americans get looked at funny when they refer to their fanny in public in the UK (particularly if they are men...)
(The British equivalent of US fanny is bum, which to Americans means beggar or some such, I believe.)
TW

SharonDee

Along the same lines: Look down your shirt and spell "attic".