HelenM

I don't think it's fair to generalize that way.
Most churches see murder as very serious. Murder plus unbelief has to be worse than just unbelief.

But anyway...

Aerion

Helen, I wasn't generalizing but stating a documented fact. The Bible says that not believing in God is heresy and is punishable by death. Certainly murder is also a serious crime but nonetheless, heresy is considered a more serious crime. I'll bet you if you really press your pastor at your church, he'll tell you I'm correct although he may admit that does not necessarily agree with it.

Fortunately, at least in the U.S., most Christians don't exactly agree with this doctrine.

Splat

Darren, I'm too lazy to go back and see for myself, but has anybody suggested that your wife's extreme reaction might be due to the fact that she may be having doubts herself (subconscious or otherwise), and is terrified of them? It sounds to me like she's way more threatened than most people would be in her situation.

HelenM

Actually I have heard both my current and last pastor comment on the relative seriousness of different sins and they both said that sins that have worse consequences in terms of adversely affecting others, are 'worse'. Murder obviously has a very adverse effect on other people.

Also, the Bible is clear that a murderer is to receive the death penalty. So I'm not sure how you figure that murder is less serious than something else that deserves the death penalty. You say it's a 'documented fact'. Where is it documented? Besides, where in the Bible does it say that simply not believing deserves the death penalty?

Fwiw, aggressively teaching heresy would be considered much worse than simply not believing, according to the 'it's worse if it adversely affects others' viewpoint.

Now I'll probably get into trouble for getting off-topic...

Helen

BadBadBad

Rhea, you have some good advice, but what makes you think Darren is the primary one who needs to follow it? It's pretty good advise for both parties. What makes you think it's Darren doing all the confrontation? Why do you seem to think he's the one pushing his family into divorce? Seems to me, she's the one pushing that button. Don't get me wrong, I agree with spreading this out, steering around blow up confrontations, and you can't go wrong buying flowers.

However, she is the one who has decided Darren is somehow no longer acceptable as a husband and father. Based upon what I've read, that is simply because he came out with his non-belief, not because of his confrontative behavior. I agree with Darren, the only way he can fix that is to recant his deconversion, and live a lie for the rest of his life. She's going to have to get out her Bible and decide not to be a hypocrite, or it may not matter what Darren does.

Vicar Philip

Splat,

No, we've never discussed that specifically. She IS terrified of going to hell, so to think about not having God is surely even more scary for her. Her biggest fear is that I will wind up going to Hell because of my non-belief.

She's very depressed today. She has always had bouts of depression, but now it seems they occur more frequently. Of course I am to blame for that. I still can't understand why some Christians, my wife included, think atheists are evil people. I suppose they have no concept of "Morality" outside of their freaking Jesus fables.

Darren

pz

Maybe she just needs to learn that there is no heaven, no hell, and that her superstitious beliefs are not going to make the slightest difference in her fate after death. Have you tried educating her in this subject? Is she willing to read some books on the topic?

Aerion

HelenC,

You're right that we BOTH got a bit off topic. I'm not a Biblical scholar so I will concede your point even though I think we're splitting hairs.

My main point to x-xian was to try and put his wife's views into perspective to help him deal with his very disturbing circumstances. To a true Christian, not believing in God is very, very serious.

HelenM

If you can find a counselor for marriage counseling, that person will also be able to give an objective opinion on whether it might be advisable for her to seek medical help for depression.

At least it wouldn't just be you the 'evil atheist' saying so, then...

take care
Helen

HelenM

Yes, I agree. x-xian just wrote that his wife's biggest fear is that he will go to hell. That is very serious, if she's right. Although - really, that's his problem, not hers. He's the one taking the 'risk' as it were and it's his risk to take.

Helen