Stiletto One

Well, just in general, what do you think of them?

I guess they're funny (in a sick and twisted way), but I don't especially like them either.

beth

I forgot about them.

What's gross?
A hundred dead babies in a garbage can...

What's grosser than gross?

A hundred dead babies in a garbage can but one baby is alive and eats his way out.

See? Very immature.

ieyeasu

What's red and wriggles?

A not quite dead baby in my frying pan.

missus_gumby

Off to Humour.

Stiletto One

What's red and frothy and sits in a corner?
...A baby that gargled razor blades.

What's green and fuzzy and sits in a corner?
...The same baby two weeks later.

Writer@Large

But it's way funnier if you can string it along as you tell it ...

What's grosser than gross?

Twelve dead babies in a garbage can. What's grosser than that?

One dead baby in twelve garbage cans.

... or ...

What's grosser than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies. What's grosser than that?

There's a live one on the bottom. Grosser than that?

He's trying to eat his way out. Grosser than that?

He succeeds. Grosser than that?

He comes back for more. Grosser than that?

He brings a friend.

It's juvinile, but it used to make me grin when I was 10.

--W@L

Proctors_Gambit

What's funnier that 100 dead babies in a dumpster?

Getting them out with a pitchfork.

-Gambit

NonHomogenized

How do you get 10 dead babies in a bucket?

With a blender. How do you get them back out?

Doritos!


What's the difference between unloading a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?

You cant unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork. Why do you use a pitchfork to unload the dead babies?

So you can tell if you hit a live one. How do you know if you hit a live one?

the pitchfork shakes.



Ah, I do so love dead baby jokes.

Jesus Tap-Dancin' Christ

What do you get when you skin a baby?

An orgasm.

What's the best part about fucking a baby?

Seeing the knob of your cock when it screams.

Yes, I'm a terrible person for laughing my ass off at these.

Arken

Worse one (although not a dead baby joke):

What's the best thing about pedophilia?
Those little hands make your dick look so much bigger!


And now for some dead baby jokes:

Q: What is more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall?
A: Pulling them off.

Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!

Q. Whats more fun that spinning a baby on clothesline?
A. Stopping it with a shovel.

Q: What is a sure way to stop a baby from crying?
A: With an axe.

Q: What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
A: Sticking pins in their eyes.

This is the worst (funniest) one IMO:

Q: What is 18" long, cold and stiff, and makes a woman scream in the morning?
A: Crib death.


But I prefer Mommy, Mommy jokes when it comes to sick jokes-

Mommy, Mommy! Why am I walking in circles?
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.

Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other kids?
Shut up and deal.

Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts.
Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with grandma?
Not today, we already dug her up three times this week!

Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
Shut up, Albert....

Mommy, Mommy! Can I brush my teeth?
Okay, I'll get the jar.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia.
Shut up son and keep swimming.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?
Shut up and flush.

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to empty the compost heap.
Shut up and keep eating.

Mommy, Mommy! Can I play the piano?
Of course not! You know your hooks will scratch the keys!

And finally...

Mommy, Mommy! Sally's on fire!
Not now, Sheldon. I'm busy!
Mommy, Mommy! Sally fell in the river! She's drowning!
Oh well... the fire would have killed her anyway.