alek0

In the thread about gay marriage, yguy keeps talking about heterosexuals who get married for wrong reasons. I'd like to know what he considers as right reasons for getting married.
Since his answer will likely be related to procreation I would like to ask few questions:

1. What is unselfish about having children? For planned pregnancies, people have children because they want them, because having kids will make their family complete, because they think their lives will be happier and more fulfilled with having kids. It isn't about making sacrifices for noble cause of continuation of human race, it is about making a choice which they think will make them happier, which is ultimately a selfish motive.

2. If it turns out that one partner is infertile, is it moral to abandon him/her just because of that? In case of female infertility, is it moral to put pressure on her to submit to various invasive and risky medical procedures to try to have a child?

3. I know several childfree couples who plan to stay that way. They are very happy together and devoted to one another. Did they get married for the wrong reason? Or is marriage about partnership first, procreation later if any?

meritocrat

I had felt that the purpose of marriage was to unite two people who were in love and wished to spend the remainder of their lives together.

In that sense, how is bearing offspring relevant?

Jinto

It isn't, but if you know of any way to convince yguy or dk of that, I'd love to know.

Loren Pechtel

We agreed that there would be no children. This caused us some headaches with immigration--the interviewer had a hard time believing that it was a real marriage since she didn't have a big belly.

We've been together 15 years now. Everyone who knows us knows we are very close.

Dr Rick

I sure hope not; before Jacey and I tied the knot, we visited a urologist and he tied and cauterized a couple of knots on me...

alek0

I think so too, but obviously there are people who don't think so, or even worse think that any other reason than procreation is selfish

Also, I had misfortune to meet several men IRL who were looking for "suitable mother for their children". And they couldn't understand why would some women find that offensive. My value as a human being is most certainly not determined by uterus and ovaries, thank you very much.

Btw, Dr. Rick, do you have any still single friends who'd be willing to do that? Not necessarily as good looking as you As long as he gets snipped, I wouldn't mind the looks. Beauty is only light switch away

Dr Rick

*blush*

...Gosh, lady; if I wasn't already spoken for....

Unfortunately, I'm a physican, so all of my friends are either geeks or egomaniacs.

alek0

You mean you physicians are worse egomaniacs than us in academia? That's really hard to achieve...

On the serious side, I'd really like to hear what is the right reason for getting married and why is breeding unselfish.

I'd also like to know what is the moral advantage of marriage over cohabitation?

I'd also like to know what is so good about traditional gender roles.

And why should women marry more intelligent men. Is "I married him because he is more intelligent than me" better reason than "we got married because of our love and respect for one another"? And what should women who can't find more intelligent men do?

southernhybrid

No way would I try to convince yguy of anthing. My husband and I didn't want any children. I had one from a previous marriage which he graciously helped me raise and provide for. Our marriage was based on love and friendship as well as the desire to have a partner to share life's experiences. It's worked extremely well for us for almost 22 years. I think it gets even better over time.



Marriage is a partnership. It's not about raising children. Raising children together is a choice that some couples make but has little to do with the reasons that people marry.

scigirl

Great thread, alek0.

Since many theists have their view of marriage because of the Bible, I think another relevant question is, why did people get married during biblical times? Does anyone know about this? I recall learning that as soon as girls started their menstrual cycle, they were married off, and considered to be more like property than partners. In addition, marriage was for convenience and property ownership, not for love.

Is this what the theists want nowadays when they mean 'traditional marriage?'

Ha ha! So true. Some of my friends are both - scary!

What does this mean, really? For instance, if I married a man who was a computer scientist, whereas I'll be a physician, who's "smarter?" Do we go by SAT scores, or salaries, or who can beat who at Risk, or Trivial Pursuit?

scigirl