Boro Nut

Just a few short millennia ago, a little child was born. (They’re all little at that age – ED). The exact date and circumstances of his birth are shrouded in mystery, and have since undoubtedly been embellished by legend. But what is certain is that this one base child, born in such humble circumstances, would one day rise to such prominence that kings would know his name. He would found a movement that would challenge the very nature of contemporary society, and the empire which brought about his downfall would flock to his cause. If I could invent a time machine, I would most like to meet this man above all others.

His early life is a relative mystery. We know little or nothing of it. By the time he comes to prominence we know only his working trade, and we can surmise that his worldly possessions probably amounted to his few lovingly sharpened implements, and the clothes on his back. No artifacts of his early life now exist. If his childhood steps left any mark on the rich tapestry of history, they have long since been erased. But like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, he burst as an adult upon his world, and the short astonishing glory of his subsequent life, and the dazzling achievements of this truly remarkable man still resonate through the centuries.

Crowns and riches could have been his, but he spurned them, caring only for the well-being of the poor and dispossessed, who worshipped him to a man. He was drawn to them, as they were drawn to him, like moths to a flame. He understood them, because he was one of them. He ate what they ate, drank what they drank, and slept where they slept. As he traveled the length and breadth of the land spreading his message of hope to those who had none, and promising salvation to those most in need of it, he gathered souls to his cause like a farmer gathers corn. Those people had long prayed for a savior to deliver them from servitude, and he had come in fulfillment of their prayers, to do justice unto those who despised them. He was a revolutionary in the truest meaning of the word. His story is undoubtedly the greatest story ever told. I wont repeat it here, I’m sure you know it well.

Nor has the manner of his savage and ignoble death at the hands of the Roman imperialists diminished his appeal to us, even in this late day and age, crucified as he was outside the gates of the city, among the very dregs of society. It was no doubt intended to diminish his memory in the eyes of those who venerated him. In fact it merely served to elevate him, proof positive that he was willing to sacrifice his own flesh to free those who followed in his name. Instead of turning from him, many of his closest adherents gladly shared his fate, never once renouncing his name, but deeming it a singular honour to be treated in kind, such was the devotion he inspired in them.

They may have succeeded in destroying his mortal body, but his name lives eternally as an inspiration to the oppressed and downtrodden everywhere. Many things have been written about him since, but for me, if there is one message he left, it is that in the depths of despair, there is hope. No matter what misery and suffering you endure, by following his shining example, the blessed day may come when justice is done to those who have oppressed you, and they may reap the harvest of their sinfulness, and in that golden day, you can exact a deliciously cold, cruel, and bloody revenge upon them all.

Boro Nut

Chairman of the Spartacus Appreciation Society

Mageth

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

Welcome back, Boro Nut. It's been a while since I've seen one of your deliciously devious but always cleverly humorous posts around these parts.

(You had me going for a while; I thought "Has Boro Nut gone fundie on us?" I literally had to restrain myself from jumping to the end to see if there was a "hook" waiting there.)

Rational BAC

Was all that in the movie?

DMB

Good to see you posting back here. A brilliant piece!

Mageth

Was all that in the movie?

Yeah. It was called "The Greatest Story Ever Sold."

Godot

Am I missing something here? I thought it was pretty obvious that Boro Nut was talking about Spartacus. I mean, who else could it be?

fried beef sandwich

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Rational BAC

I thought it was about Spartacus.

Boro Nut

It was, but that's the enigma of the man. Who was he? Kirk Douglas or Tony Curtis? We don't get to find out. Being a practical lot the Romans killed them all just to be sure.

Boro Nut