Ms. Siv

What exactly do we mean by "respect" anyway ?

Whether everyone has the right to hold their beliefs ? Sure (who's going to stop them ?!).
Whether everyone has a right to impose these beliefs on others ? No.
Whether everyone has the right to pass of their beliefs as scientific theories ? Not if they do not pass the rigours of scientific scrutiny and objective verification.
Whether everyone has a right to discriminate based on religious beliefs ? No.

However, once you enter into a discussion with someone having opposing/contradicting beliefs (or no beliefs), you have to be ready to face skeptical scrutiny of your beliefs. Attacking someone's beliefs is not akin to attacking the person.

IMO, its also rude to shut someone off by refusing to discuss your beliefs with them . But of course, there can be no coercion for the same.

- Sivakami.

P.S : IMO, this is a topic for this forum because it has to do with acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

trunks2k

YEah, what you said

Brian63

I agree with you Sivakami, and I've been meaning to make a post like yours for a while.

In general, when someone says "I respect your beliefs," I interpret it as a sign of courtesy more than anything else. It doesn't mean that they agree with my beliefs, and it doesn't mean they think my beliefs are not absurd.

When I personally say that I respect someone's beliefs, I mean it in different terms. I mean they have beliefs that I consider admirable. The same is true when I say that I respect a certain person, or a certain trait. I mean it as that person has qualities that I admire, and I strive to obtain myself.

Not everyone has beliefs that I consider admirable (or more accurately, not every belief I consider admirable), so avoid telling just anyone that I respect their beliefs.

Personally, I don't usually care for it when somebody tells me that they respect my beliefs (if they mean it only in the first sense that I described). I'd rather be told whether they think my beliefs are valid or invalid, right or wrong. Just telling me that they are respectable isn't helpful to me, IMO. That is an ambiguous comment.

Brian

callina

For good or bad, I know that when I tell someone that I respect their beliefs, what I really mean is "well, I'm disappointed that an otherwise intelligent person chooses to fall into ignorance, but I will continue to be your friend because I like your company and I will not be rude and try to mend your ways -- but only if promise to do the same, and keep your beliefs away from my body and my government"

So, I don't actually respect their beliefs in the sense of "showing honor and esteem". Am I being hypocritical? Should I care?

Jamie_L

When I say I respect someone's belief, what I really mean is that a)I respect that person's right to believe what they wish; and b)I will treat that person with respect - not result to ad hominem attacks or other abuse simply because of their beliefs.

I also think this is what most people mean when they say "I respect your beliefs."

Jamie

Pomp

On a related note, does anyone else find it incredibly disrespectful when someone responds to "I respect you beliefes, even if I don't agree with them," with "I respect your beliefs, too, but I'm praying that you'll see the light?"

SharonDee

Yeah, it's probably disrespectful but I let them get away with it. "Praying that you'll see the light" is usually believer-speak for "I give up."
I'm always happy when they stop trying to convert me, so I'm perfectly willing to let 'em wriggle off the hook.

echidna

This is the toughest IMO.

Much human conflict, including the frequent flaming on this board arises largely from irritating each other with our ideas. No direct threat or coercion, just that we are each very attached to our own belief system. Question that (or worse, insult it), and your questioning the rational basis for my morality and my actions, deep stuff, stuff which our egos will usually resist. There’s often a fine line between attacking ideas and attacking the person.

James AD

I personally don't use that phrase, because it is disingenuous. It is more honest to tell someone that you respect their sincerity.
Every self respecting person must act upon their own beliefs. That is what you have to respect. But that is why beliefs are important, and why we argue about them. Good intentions are not enough. If our beliefs are wrong, actions based upon them are misguided.

Jane Bovary

In general, when someone says "I respect your beliefs," I interpret it as a sign of courtesy more than anything else. It doesn't mean that they agree with my beliefs, and it doesn't mean they think my beliefs are not absurd.


This is the thing...we can respect people's right to hold a belief, but why should we respect the belief itself?

It seems in this world we have a different standard for the things we don't understand. It's considered perfectly reasonable to tear to pieces a a political ideology, a scientific theory, indeed, all manner of "worldly" notions...but when it comes to this questionable term "spirituality", suddenly we must walk on eggshells. Peoples religious beliefs are somehow considered sacred, special...not to be tampered with. There are even such choking constrictions as religious villification laws, where we are compelled to regard a persons faith with solemn respect and silent acceptance. Can you imagine such a law applied to political beliefs?

The existence of God is surely an intellectual question, not an ethical one, and as such, should be as open to the harsh glare of critical scrutiny as anything else.