Grumpy

My local newspaper was probably not the only one to carry a full-page ad from Rev. Sun Myung Moon's <a href="http://www.familyfed.org/" target="_blank">Unification Church</a> last week.

It was a tiny-print laff-riot entitled "A Cloud of Witnesses: The Saints' Testimonies to the True Parents." In other words, Rev. Moon attended a pow-wow in the hereafter, and brought back statements from deceased religious leaders endorsing the Unification Church.

The ad runs down a list of individual testimonials, from representatives of Hinduism, Islam, Buddhism, Confucianism, and Christianity. For example, #5 Christian John Wesley says:

And you know John Wesley said so, because he says he is. And I know Rev. Moon spoke to John Wesley, because he says he does.

Oh, and to cover all the bases, he also brought back some remarks from Four Representative Communist Leaders: Marx, Lenin, Stalin, and Deng Xiao Ping. Here's what Ol' Joe had to say, now that he's had time to think about it:

After all that, the Letter from God comes as an anti-climax. What? Yes, a Letter from God.

That's just the greeting. The body of the letter is, well, just like the Wesley and Stalin business.

Oh, did I mention the seating arrangements? And the agenda notes that Mohammed led the "three cheers of victory" during the opening ceremony.

One good thing about the ad, aside from the entertainment value, is as a cross-cultural history lesson. Who would you imagine represented Hinduism at this seminar? I'll tell you:

Hinduism: Shankara, founder of the Advaita Vedanta; Madwa, who built the Temple of Krishna; and Maharishi Gautama, who invented yoga.
Islam: Muhammad; Abubakr, first Khalifa; Umar Bin Kha Pab, second Khalifa; Osman Bin Afan, third Khalifa; Ali Bin Abi Palib, fourth Khalifa; Abdullah Bin Abbas, Abdullah Bin Masud, and Abi Bin Khab, interpreters of the Quran.
Buddhism: Buddha; Sariputa, Mok Keon Ryeon, Mahakassapa, Anuruddha, Subhadda, Purna, and Ka Jeon Yeon, among Buddha's 10 greatest disciples.
Confucianism: Confucius; Twom Baek Woo and Min Ja Geon, both outstanding in virtue; Jae A, known for oratory; Yeom Woo, a politician; An Yeon, disciple of Confucius; Ja Gong, leader during the No and Wui dynasties; and the philosopher Mencius.
Christianity: Peter, the first Pope; Paul, the missionary; John Calvin, reformer; Martin Luther, protester; John Wesley; Karl Barth, modern theologian; David Livingston, missionary to Africa; Jonathan Edwards, American preacher; John Smyth, founder of the Baptist Church; John Harvard, Puritan & university founder; Augustine of Hippo; Horace Underwood, Presbyterian missionary to Korea; and of course Jesus.

Imagine the run-in at the buffet table!

DarkBronzePlant

Imagine, for example, how many Catholics will laugh at this absurdity, then tune back in to the Pope to find out what God told him today.