Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Vicar Philip · 11-09-2002, 11:53 AM

I think there may be light at the end of the tunnel.

We were at Wal-Mart today, and went through the Christmas section. I have nothing against Christmas; I think it's still a wonderful pagan holiday. If my wife wants to think of it as The Son of God's Birthday, more power to her. Anyway, there was a Christmas card that caught both our eyes, and then she read what was inside it: something dripping with God and Jesus. With a little smile, she put it back, and turned to me and said, "Probably not what you wanted it to say, is it??" We both got a good laugh out of it.

We spoke a little more about beliefs and opinions, and I think if I just give her time to adjust to my atheism, she'll become more and more tolerant. We are still going to pursue marriage counseling.

The Other Michael · 11-09-2002, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by x-xian:
Anyway, there was a Christmas card that caught both our eyes, and then she read what was inside it: something dripping with God and Jesus. With a little smile, she put it back, and turned to me and said, "Probably not what you wanted it to say, is it??" We both got a good laugh out of it.

We've been buying Sierra Club cards for years, because 1) I'm not going to sign my name to Chrismas cards and 2) I can't stand kitschy bunnies/teddy bears etc.

The Sierra Club cards generally have a very nice winter nature scene on them with a non-sectarian sentiment like "Peace on Earth" on the inside - and I have no trouble agreeing with that sentiment.

It's worth checking out.

cheers,
Michael

HelenM · 11-09-2002, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by x-xian:
 there was a Christmas card that caught both our eyes, and then she read what was inside it: something dripping with God and Jesus. With a little smile, she put it back, and turned to me and said, "Probably not what you wanted it to say, is it??" We both got a good laugh out of it.

That's great news, that you were able to laugh together today...

By the way, there's a (secular) marriage book I really like and so does my husband; we both read it when we were going through a hard time and we both found it helpful.

It's the only marriage book I really like. Anyway here it is, if you're interested:

<a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060916044/qid=1036877313/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-8696488-5267835?v=glance&s=books" target="_blank">Love Is Never Enough by Aaron Beck</a>

I think it's well worth the money.

take care
Helen

Bumble Bee Tuna · 11-09-2002, 07:59 PM

I think x-xian made a good decision...for the moment. It shouldn't be a permanent solution but it seems perfect to get his wife acclimatized to his change in beliefs. You can't expect her to get accustomed immediately. Of course, eventually he should back out of church but for now it's a good gesture. Especially since he was the one who suddenly changed his beliefs, he should be accomodating. This sounds like good news with the card story. Yay for x-xian! Seeing as how I might eventually be in an interbelief marriage myself, I like happy endings.

-B

Blankman · 11-09-2002, 11:00 PM

Quote:

We spoke a little more about beliefs and opinions, and I think if I just give her time to adjust to my atheism, she'll become more and more tolerant. We are still going to pursue marriage counseling.

x-xian,

Sounds like a good start. Laughter IS the best medicine. It is going to take a while for your wife to warm up to atheism. Most christians really haven't been exposed to "true" atheism before and see it as something very stereotypical, read...evil. That is why I might suggest calling it humanism or secular humanism to start with, if that works for you. Hopefully counseling will give you a quiet and calm setting to explain to her what atheism really is and isn't. And although she might never admit, I don't believe there is a single person who never questioned their faith. Some just continue to believe no matter what and some don't. Just don't criticize her for her beliefs. Carry on.

Blankman

Ted Hoffman · 11-11-2002, 01:05 AM

Helen

Quote:

And there are also those who would 'stand up for their beliefs', get divorced, and then, coming home to an empty apartment after work - no wife, no kids and think "What have I done??? Was it really worth it???" And for them there would be no satisfaction - only regret.

Yeah, sure.

xxian,

Quote:

Tell me, Intensity, how many children do you have? Were you present at each and every one of their births? Have you watched them grow from helpless infants to well-adjusted, decent, kind, wonderful kids? Well, I have, and getting a divorce that you seem so in favor of would instantly remove me from all of that.

I am not even married. So I am not qualified to give my views huh?

Quote:

...we have plans to go to a marriage counselor

I am glad to her that. Best wishes.

Ted Hoffman · 11-11-2002, 01:16 AM

xxian,
Forgive my dark outlook last week - i was going through a storm of sorts.
If your wife can laugh with you about such an issue, you have covered more ground than I could imagine.
Best of luck.

Vicar Philip · 11-11-2002, 06:14 PM

No problem, Intensity.

Thanks for your support.

Darren

muon · 11-12-2002, 05:45 AM

xxian,

Dare we ask how your Sunday went?

HelenM · 11-12-2002, 06:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by oser:
xxian,

Dare we ask how your Sunday went?

Just what I was wondering...so I hope we dare!

Helen

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11-09-2002, 11:53 AM	#91
Vicar Philip Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Cozy little chapel of me own Posts: 1,162	I think there may be light at the end of the tunnel. We were at Wal-Mart today, and went through the Christmas section. I have nothing against Christmas; I think it's still a wonderful pagan holiday. If my wife wants to think of it as The Son of God's Birthday, more power to her. Anyway, there was a Christmas card that caught both our eyes, and then she read what was inside it: something dripping with God and Jesus. With a little smile, she put it back, and turned to me and said, "Probably not what you wanted it to say, is it??" We both got a good laugh out of it. We spoke a little more about beliefs and opinions, and I think if I just give her time to adjust to my atheism, she'll become more and more tolerant. We are still going to pursue marriage counseling.

11-09-2002, 07:59 PM	#94
Bumble Bee Tuna Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Middletown, CT Posts: 7,333	I think x-xian made a good decision...for the moment. It shouldn't be a permanent solution but it seems perfect to get his wife acclimatized to his change in beliefs. You can't expect her to get accustomed immediately. Of course, eventually he should back out of church but for now it's a good gesture. Especially since he was the one who suddenly changed his beliefs, he should be accomodating. This sounds like good news with the card story. Yay for x-xian! Seeing as how I might eventually be in an interbelief marriage myself, I like happy endings. -B

11-11-2002, 01:16 AM	#97
Ted Hoffman Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: "" Posts: 3,863	xxian, Forgive my dark outlook last week - i was going through a storm of sorts. If your wife can laugh with you about such an issue, you have covered more ground than I could imagine. Best of luck.

11-11-2002, 06:14 PM	#98
Vicar Philip Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Cozy little chapel of me own Posts: 1,162	No problem, Intensity. Thanks for your support. Darren

11-12-2002, 05:45 AM	#99
muon Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 1,767	xxian, Dare we ask how your Sunday went?

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