openeyes

I don't envy your position on one hand, but on the other, I think you have a lot more resources at your disposal than a lot of us had at your age that found ourselves in similar situations. I know I "played along to get along" for quite some time because I didn't know what else to do, given I still loved my xian family. I didn't have the close ties with "xian" friends, so that perhaps made it easier.

You said you're 17. Are you still in high school? You'll have a chance if you're planning to go to college to make a change and find people who don't orient their lives around religion. You may still find that some of your xian friends are supportive, but they'll probably be scared that you don't believe and you seem like a decent person, so where does that leave them with their outlooks?

Good luck. Growing up isn't easy, but strides made in the right direction now will help you down the road. We're always here on the 'net if you feel like you're the only one around that doesn't buy the religious line. We need "flesh and blood" relationships, but until you can establish those, we're here. (Lots of good suggestions from others--also look at the "events" list on infidels.net to see if maybe there's a group meeting in your area.)

Shake

"There's a time and place for everything. It's called college." -Marge Simpson (I believe)

Do go. Try to get out of state if you can, or at least out of your immediate area. It will expose you to new people with different ideas than those in the area in which you have grown up. The school may even have a secular group which you could join. I would also second the UU if you still feel you need a slower transition. Good luck!