CB804

Alright. Hopefully I posted this in the right place. But I need some help

See, I've been born and raised in a home that is christian. So obviously I've had childlike faith. Untill I got older, and was able to start thinking for myself. So I doubted God, and thought of tons of arguments to go against him. I always stayed with christians though, because thats what I knew. But in my mind, I've always known that there is not a God. I go to christian camps, in fact, I was a counsler at a christain camp this summer. I've even led people to christ. I've had hundreds of discussions with strong christians about God and his existance. But really what it comes down to, is that I dont believe. I'll never be able to, and its not from lack of trying. If God was there, He would have shown himself. And he hasnt.
So here's my problem. I've been with religion so long, and its been part of my life for such a long time, that I dont know what to do without it. Like some kind of an addiction. And I want away, because I dont believe. Its not God that I'm going to miss, but just the complete change in my life. Does this make any sence? Basicly what I want to know, is how I can take the programing religion has put in me out, and lead a normal life.
thanks

Debbie T

I come from a similiar background although I really wanted to believe. It can be disorienting at first especially if your whole social structure is built around your beliefs. Some people including myself experience being shunned and shamed by friends and family.

Some good things to read to help with the transition (although these weren't available when I left) is Leaving the Fold by Marlene Windall, Ph.D. and a lot of Dan Barker's writings and his book. Leaving the Fold deals with a lot of issues that happen to people leaving a belief system. It is also good for those who know others who are leaving and having difficulties.

Also asking here helps too as you did. Good luck and remember there is a wonderful life awaiting you without religion. It was for me a freedom I had not experienced as a believer. It will surprise you how much you felt like you was bound up in chains before. Now you will be able to speak without fear of retribution from a sky daddy and any retribution from believers will fall off you like rain on a duck's back. Peace be with you.

Amie

Hi CB804
I wish you only the best and I just wanted to tell you that I think you will find the support you need here on this board. Many here are exceptionally kind...

Bree

This seems more appropriate in Secular Lifestyle & Support.

sakrilege

If you haven't read it already, I suggest looking thru the Atheist Testimony thread. Many people have had similar experiences.

Straight Hate

CB: To me, it sounds as if the religious aspect of things has largely been an excuse to interact with people. It seems to have given you a focus for your life, but probably one that would be more fulfilling if you quit 'living the lie', so to speak. I'm not sure how old you are, but have you considered going into the social services (or something similar), thus, keeping that human connection while allowing yourself to become a person that meshes well with your real beliefs?

I am

CB804:

Go to a Unitarian/Universalist church. Most of them welcome Atheists. Check out the policy at your local church. You can wean yourself off of church altogether if you want to, but I know a few Atheist's who like to go and they can be open about their beliefs. I can see nothing but positives to this solution except that you have to leave the family church in the process, but because christians founded UU churches, it's still a christian church... sort of.

Steve

Jewel

CB804,

Sounds like it's time to find a hobby!

Also, if you haven't read it, you may want to check out Dan Barker's "Losing Faith in Faith". He was a preacher for nearly 20 years when he became an atheist. It's a good read. And you may find the book helpful, if for no other reason -- he had spent his entire life drenched in religion and helping people find Jesus. Doing a complete 180 was more than a little interesting for him.

If it is community you desire, I second the others suggestion that you give UU a try. They are typically quite friendly to atheists as well as liberal Christians, Pagans, etc. You could also volunteer once a week at a museum. That would give you something different to do that may be quite rewarding.

-Jewel

CB804

Sweet, thanks, yea I might look into going to a UU church. And I'll read some of those books. I'm 17, so yea, alot of it is finding a new social group. Which is something I can do.
The really hard part, is that this summer I got really close with a bunch of christians. We were counslers together, and went through a christian leadership program together. Even throughout the year we have all kept in really close contact. Every night we'd have late night talks about God and all that, and it would end with everyone crying...except me. But I could fake it Anyways, christian or not, I love these people, and if they ever found out I left the faith they are going to flip. It was even something we talked about at camp...how if someone fell they would all be there to pick them up. So I dont know how to handle that. I guess just be honest and hope it turns out for the best? They are going to end up coming to my house though, and ugh. Oh well...I guess its my fault Thanks anyways, for all the advice.

I am

Good luck.