Freethought & Rationalism Archive

scombrid · 06-02-2002, 03:39 AM

Good Sunday morning. Yesterday I had two infidel moments that are quite unusual for me here in the land of fundies. I usually keep my trap shut.

Moment One: I went to the auto parts store to pick up an exhaust flange gasket. As I pulled into the parking lot I passed some teens having a carwash. I didn’t have a dime on me so I drove on. Then I noticed a sign that said “Help us pay for our mission trip.” and was really glad to have driven on.

One of the cute girls in the group flirtingly approached me as I got out of my car and asked me if I’d like to have my car washed. I asked her “what are you raising money for?” She replies “Our youth group is going on a mission trip to (I forgot what Central American country she named)”. I said “No thanks, I’d rather give money a worthwhile cause”. She, being rather bold for a teen, replied that it was a worthwhile cause, “We’re spreading the gospel. What can be more worthwhile than that.” I replied “I really don’t see what good there is in teaching mythology to poor uneducated people to make them feel better about being poor and uneducated. Don’t you think it would be better to try to elevated their position in the world?”

She went blank and walked away. When I left the store pointed my van out to some others and I got some nasty looks.

Moment Two: At the gym I was working on a bench next to a fundy. I’ve never spoken a word to him but I overheard him agreeing with Falwell and Robertson regarding the cause of the September 11 attacks. I heard him say “We’ve got to get the country back to God”. I’ve also seen him preparing a sermon in the gym. Just being within 10ft of the guy tends to cause hypertension. I’ve been itching to confront this guy for some time.

I was shooting for 10reps and only got 9. Without thinking I muttered “God Damnit”, my favorite frustration expression. The asshole had the nerve to say “Please don’t say that, It offends me and Gawd, and there is enough that offends Gawd these days.” The remainder of the exchange follows:

Me: “If it offends you don’t listen.” (Sound familiar)
Him: “I can’t help but hear unless I break my routine and go to a different part of the gym and God always hears” (He’s playing into my hands.)

Me: “You support public prayer?” (The set up)
Him: “It should be mandatory.” (too fucking easy)
Me: “It’s offensive to some people, especially in a closed hearing that they can’t leave without missing the event.”
Him: “They don’t have to listen.” (Score!)
Me: “Then I can be a profane as I wish. You can just tune it out.”

He tried to argue the virtue of prayer versus profanity but I had made my point and continued with my workout.

I felt like Bugs Bunny tricking Elmer Fucking Fudd into contradicting himself. It was so easy.

Hayden · 06-02-2002, 04:00 AM

You're a nasty, nasty man. Good work.

I wish I could be a little more like that...

HR

TestForEric · 06-02-2002, 04:01 AM

Fish... Barrell... BANG

Panta Pei · 06-02-2002, 04:21 AM

Most excellent exchanges scombrid <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" />

Mine came a few weeks ago when my fundy in-laws were down from IL for a few days at my house for the first time.

We usually do the traveling to their farm and I always outwardly respect their practices in their own abode. You know, bowed head, silent reverence as the man of the house provides the standard deity invocation 'in jebus name we pray', yada yada, before every freakin' bite of food.

Well, of course, the time came for the master chef to grill the steaks, and so a fine culinary delight I prepared (to include all required fixins and table settings).

After a most hearty 'Come and get it' we all sat down to dinner during which time my lovely sister-in-law said to her husband "Joe?" and he promptly bowed his head and cleared his throat.

I glanced over at my better half, who suddenly acquiesced to her older sister's silent pressure.

Let's just say that after recent events this situation really topped me off, so...

"If I may?" I calmly chimed in.

"Let's hold hands" she smiled at her mother.

"Yes." her mother agreed and we all complied.

"There is no god, open your eyes, amen."

Best steak I've had in years

Won't be going to IL anytime soon and, yes, the argument with my wife lasted several days and still reverberates like a socal quake.

I've been armchair QB'ing the event ever since, however, the principle of fairness always seems to support my position.

Not Prince Hamlet · 06-02-2002, 04:51 AM

Panta Pei,

Lovely! If there is a God, you are He!

Jeff

Vorkosigan · 06-02-2002, 05:09 AM

Hey! Panta Pei! You got brass ones! I have never done anything like that.

Vorkosigan

bonduca · 06-02-2002, 05:18 AM

You guys rock.

Daydreamer · 06-02-2002, 05:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vorkosigan:
<strong>Hey! Panta Pei! You got brass ones! I have never done anything like that.

Vorkosigan</strong>

8 oz ones to boot I bet.

Jewel · 06-02-2002, 06:46 AM

scombrid & Panta Pei,

You two are my heroes!!

-jewel

RufusAtticus · 06-02-2002, 07:51 AM

woot you!

06-02-2002, 03:39 AM	#1
scombrid Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Central Florida Posts: 2,759	Yesterday's Infidel Moments Good Sunday morning. Yesterday I had two infidel moments that are quite unusual for me here in the land of fundies. I usually keep my trap shut. Moment One: I went to the auto parts store to pick up an exhaust flange gasket. As I pulled into the parking lot I passed some teens having a carwash. I didn’t have a dime on me so I drove on. Then I noticed a sign that said “Help us pay for our mission trip.” and was really glad to have driven on. One of the cute girls in the group flirtingly approached me as I got out of my car and asked me if I’d like to have my car washed. I asked her “what are you raising money for?” She replies “Our youth group is going on a mission trip to (I forgot what Central American country she named)”. I said “No thanks, I’d rather give money a worthwhile cause”. She, being rather bold for a teen, replied that it was a worthwhile cause, “We’re spreading the gospel. What can be more worthwhile than that.” I replied “I really don’t see what good there is in teaching mythology to poor uneducated people to make them feel better about being poor and uneducated. Don’t you think it would be better to try to elevated their position in the world?” She went blank and walked away. When I left the store pointed my van out to some others and I got some nasty looks. Moment Two: At the gym I was working on a bench next to a fundy. I’ve never spoken a word to him but I overheard him agreeing with Falwell and Robertson regarding the cause of the September 11 attacks. I heard him say “We’ve got to get the country back to God”. I’ve also seen him preparing a sermon in the gym. Just being within 10ft of the guy tends to cause hypertension. I’ve been itching to confront this guy for some time. I was shooting for 10reps and only got 9. Without thinking I muttered “God Damnit”, my favorite frustration expression. The asshole had the nerve to say “Please don’t say that, It offends me and Gawd, and there is enough that offends Gawd these days.” The remainder of the exchange follows: Me: “If it offends you don’t listen.” (Sound familiar) Him: “I can’t help but hear unless I break my routine and go to a different part of the gym and God always hears” (He’s playing into my hands.) Me: “You support public prayer?” (The set up) Him: “It should be mandatory.” (too fucking easy) Me: “It’s offensive to some people, especially in a closed hearing that they can’t leave without missing the event.” Him: “They don’t have to listen.” (Score!) Me: “Then I can be a profane as I wish. You can just tune it out.” He tried to argue the virtue of prayer versus profanity but I had made my point and continued with my workout. I felt like Bugs Bunny tricking Elmer Fucking Fudd into contradicting himself. It was so easy.

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06-02-2002, 04:00 AM	#2
Hayden Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Wellington, New Zealand Posts: 712	You're a nasty, nasty man. Good work. I wish I could be a little more like that... HR

06-02-2002, 04:01 AM	#3
TestForEric Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Brookings, SD Posts: 65	Fish... Barrell... BANG

06-02-2002, 04:21 AM	#4
Panta Pei Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: in the middle of things Posts: 722	Most excellent exchanges scombrid <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" /> Mine came a few weeks ago when my fundy in-laws were down from IL for a few days at my house for the first time. We usually do the traveling to their farm and I always outwardly respect their practices in their own abode. You know, bowed head, silent reverence as the man of the house provides the standard deity invocation 'in jebus name we pray', yada yada, before every freakin' bite of food. Well, of course, the time came for the master chef to grill the steaks, and so a fine culinary delight I prepared (to include all required fixins and table settings). After a most hearty 'Come and get it' we all sat down to dinner during which time my lovely sister-in-law said to her husband "Joe?" and he promptly bowed his head and cleared his throat. I glanced over at my better half, who suddenly acquiesced to her older sister's silent pressure. Let's just say that after recent events this situation really topped me off, so... "If I may?" I calmly chimed in. "Let's hold hands" she smiled at her mother. "Yes." her mother agreed and we all complied. "There is no god, open your eyes, amen." Best steak I've had in years Won't be going to IL anytime soon and, yes, the argument with my wife lasted several days and still reverberates like a socal quake. I've been armchair QB'ing the event ever since, however, the principle of fairness always seems to support my position.

06-02-2002, 04:51 AM	#5
Not Prince Hamlet Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: New Jersey, USA Posts: 1,309	Panta Pei, Lovely! If there is a God, you are He! Jeff

06-02-2002, 05:09 AM	#6
Vorkosigan Contributor Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Barrayar Posts: 11,866	Hey! Panta Pei! You got brass ones! I have never done anything like that. Vorkosigan

06-02-2002, 05:18 AM	#7
bonduca Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: . Posts: 1,653	You guys rock.

06-02-2002, 06:46 AM	#9
Jewel Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Northern Virginia, USA Posts: 1,112	scombrid & Panta Pei, You two are my heroes!! -jewel

06-02-2002, 07:51 AM	#10
RufusAtticus Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: NCSU Posts: 5,853	woot you!

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