IvanK

Yes, Mike Tyson is finally going to be stood up and given the public, humiliating beating he has deserved for some time. All Lennox Lewis has to do is to remember to keep his button tucked in and that as long as he keeps his wits about him the man in the ring who wants to hurt him, can't. I hope he's got his rabies shots. Even so if Tyson spits out the mouthpiece it'll be time for him to start running.

It's not that Tyson's a brute. There have been brutes, wife-beaters, rapists, bullies -- even cannibals -- in boxing since the Marquis of Queensbury. There were periods in Muhammad Ali's life when you would no more want to meet him in a dark alley than you would Tyson.

But Tyson is an illegitimate brute. His farcical career is a mockery to every virtuous young person who gets up early in the morning to go to the gym, not because they can expect an eight-figure payday for thrashing the next tomato can or palooka, but to develop the admirable physical and mental qualities inherent to the proper practice of the Sweet Science.

It'll take every one of those eight figures to lure Tyson into the ring Saturday toward his inevitable doom. A penny less and he'd be bruising a thumb or slurping down a bad oyster or something, anything to avoid his terrible destiny. Of course he's spent it all beforehand. Insecure thugs like Tyson spawn legions of hangers-on, all of whom need to be supported lavishly if they are to continue their fawning attentions to The Chump's every need.

So, does this outpouring of Manacheanism about a contest of skill and science (which, if a better man were involved, would be) sacred to the Fancy mean even a benighted infidel needs his regular doses of archetypical ritual? Or, could we find some way for boxing to replace Christianity in the national consciousness?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Bree

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