Gooch's dad

What fun, what fun...

Yesterday, a woman I vaguely know sent me (and dozens of other people on her 'FYI' list) this email:
I couldn't let this lie...so here was my 'reply to all' response:

The response has been interesting...Moderators, can I quote private emails in here? I'd sure like to! <grin>

-Kelly

ex-preacher

Before you spend too much money buying Pepsi, you should know that this whole thing is a rumor. Pepsi.com has this statement:

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FALSE RUMOR ALERT: PATRIOTIC CANS
We wanted to clarify an erroneous report that has been circulating around cyberspace for the past several months. Pepsi has not created any packaging containing an edited version of America's Pledge of Allegiance. A patriotic package used last year by Dr Pepper was inappropriately linked to this rumor. Dr Pepper's position is very clearly articulated at: <a href="http://www.dpsu.com/drpepper_can.html." target="_blank">http://www.dpsu.com/drpepper_can.html.</a>

Gooch's dad

ex-preacher:

Yeah, I was notified of the urban legend yesterday too. Snopes has a nice article on the subject. What's really rich is that Time Magazine had the same "One nation...Indivisible" on the cover of their 9/24/2001 issue, and nobody blinked.

-Kelly

Shadowy Man

Dr Pepper tastes better than Pepsi anyway, so you should be going out to buy a case of it.

theyeti

The whole Dr. Pepper thing was totally overblown, which is par for the course for the fundies. The cans contained numerous patriotic slogans from a variety of sources; the words, "one nation, indivisible" were the only words that came from the pledge. There was simply not enough room to put extra words on the cans, let alone the whole pledge. One would have been equally justified in complaining about the lack of "with liberty and justice for all", but of course the fundies were only concerned about their god being left off. It seems to be the only part of the pledge they care about.

As for the Pepsi myth, it doesn't surprise me one bit. It's likely to keep circulating for years, as have similar myths like the one about the FCC banning religious broadcasts. It's a perfect example of the fundie penchant for knee-jerk reactionism at the expense of skepticism and careful scholarship.

One thing that interests me in all of this: Notice how it's private corporations that are concerned about offending the non-religious? These people have an image and a market to worry about, and they see the need for religious neutrality. Why isn't it that the govenment, which is supposed to represent everyone and not just a potential market, sees fit to practice religious neutrality to an equal extent? Because the fundies running the show want to offend?

theyeti

[ September 13, 2002: Message edited by: theyeti ]</p>

4th Generation Atheist

Ugh! I'm not that dedicated...Dr. Pepper is sticky-sweet and nasty. Tho I wouldn't have minded an empty can. W/ the top cut off, but still showing the Pledge words around the edge, it woulda made a mean pencil holder. You could bolt the bottom to a small square of plywood for stability. Then round the top edge in so you won't cut yourself, geeky klutz that you are, each time you reach for a pencil.

queue

I just checked my money and none of them have "Under God" on them. They have "In God We Trust". Does the sender of the e-mail have different currency?

Ab_Normal

Since when have the facts stopped a spammer?

Oxidizing Material

Well you should know that UNDER GOD American currency UNDER GOD is made from God's hands UNDER GOD himself and sent down UNDER GOD to the States UNDER GOD from under UNDER GOD God's veil of protection UNDER GOD so obviously you should UNDER GOD worship God UNDER GOD for your money UNDER GOD

Unter Gott!

Oxidizing Material

Years from now, in what will be known as the Reformed United States (property of the UN), children will read in their textbooks something called "Nazi America" and "World War III - The War to End All Thought".

Their leader (which they called "God" or "Das Kaiser") never appeared to them and instead acted through their president (or "Fuhrer"), a man named George Bush who hated everyone.

Bush decided that since people of different religions and views were behind strife in the world, like the Muslims (or as he called them, "Moslems") for the WTC Attack, or the atheists for Soviet Russia, or the Catholics for the sexual abuse, or the Pagans for the Salem Witch Trials, then he should get rid of them to make sure there was no more religious fighting. He created the "Aryan race", which were males with short hair, white skin, and Christian faith. Aryan women had long hair, never spoke, never stood in the presence of a man, and always stayed in the kitchen. Anyone who didn't conform to this standard were rounded up by the American military and shipped off to camps with the rest of the religious prisoners.

The concentration camps bore the mark of the American Swastika- A black cross on a white circle surrounded by a red border. The camps held various prisioners, including all those of religions not Christian, all atheists and agnostics, all freethinkers and humanists, all socialists and liberals, all men from the middle East area of the Earth, and all anti-fuhrer protesters.

The fuhrer ordered that the entire world should be conform to his standards under das Kaiser or else they shall all suffer das Kaiser's wrath. The American stars and stripes- their patriotic name for their national flag- was changed under das Fuhrer's rule to a red flag with a white circle in the middle, and a bold black cross within. The American anthem was changed to fit Fuhrer Bush's Kaiser worshipping theme, and included the refrain "Und wir werden den kaiser unseres Gott anbeten oder werden sterben" (and we will worship the emperor our God or die). He sent his army of trenchcoated soldiers overseas to deal with Russia, Iraq, China and Iran as das Fuhrer dubbed them "evil" and must have them submit to the "peaceful, Christian Aryan way of life" (G. Bush, 2028).

Meanwhile, in the camps, the order was given to kill all those that did not repent their ways and worship das Kaiser and his son. Soon, massive chambers were devised that could pump in a metric ton of Kurov DK- a stolen Soviet nerve gas- a day. People were being executed by the thousands, and Bush's terror force (Dubbed the "Gestapo", for they "stopped" those against "Ge"orge) swept through America encouraging violence against all those deemed imperfect by das Kaiser and das Fuhrer, and rounded up even more people for the death camps. By 2030, the death count in Nazi America's death camps had reached over 8,000,000 and was rising by the tens of thousands every day.

Iraq and Iran were taken over, Saddam Hussein having fled to Saudi Arabia knowing the impending take over was imminent. Nazi America started broadcasting its propaganda movies over to its "Vaterland" from the fallen countries. In them, the waving red banner with the bold black cross encompased by a globe of dove's white flapped against a litter of puppies being gassed with Kurov DK, with the tagline "This Could Be You" and the service charge "Join the Fight against Evil Today- Call your Local Gestapo if you have Information against Enemies of das Kaiser or das Fuhrer". The horror of watching the animals be gassed instilled fear into the Nazi civilians, and they quickly started a witch hunt in the former United States to hunt down all those deemed imperfect lest they meet the same fate as the puppies.

Fuhrer Bush and his party began to bastardize famous phillosophies and quotes from Nazi America's founding fathers and other such famous phillosophers to suit their mandate and agenda. Everything was done for the glory of das Kaiser und das Fuhrer and everyone should be happy because they were being "liberated" into Heaven as the Nazis used as justification for their actions. Their book, entitled the "King James Bible", also was used to condemn everyone, but none had ever read it.

Russia and China were having a fit over das Fuhrer acting on behalf of this so called "Kaiser". China and Russia were predominantly atheist countries and did not adhere to the death wishes of das Kaiser and refused to submit, so they fought back against Nazi America. All through the world, anti-Nazi propaganda and sentiments spread like wildfire. Das Kaiser was an evil murder, and das Fuhrer Bush was an even more evil man for acting on "His" behalf. Russia allied with China forming a superpower, easily overpowering the Nazis and driving them out of the Eastern hemisphere.

However, Canada and Mexico and Brazil still lay as potential victims to the Nazi American's regime. Canada and Mexico weren't exactly up for the fight, as they usually expected the States to back them up on anything and had broken their ties to the States once the Nazi holocaust had occured. Russia, China, the reminants of the Iraqi army, the Japanese who were itching for revenge after the former "United States of America" had senselessly dropped 2 atomic bombs on their country, and the European armies all had troops on their way over to Nazi America to drive the regime out permenantally.

Fuhrer Bush had realized his dream of an Aryan world was quickly disappearing, so he ordered the death camps to increase the casualty number by fifty thousand each daily. All atheists, agnostics, pagans, polytheists, non-believers, and everyone of any religion not Christian had been eradicated by the death camps (the most famous of which was "Ostridge" (named after a tall land bird) which had records showing the camp had killed over 10% of Nazi America's population) and soon the paranoia that had swept through the Nazis was so high even saying the words "I think" were grounds enough to have you arrested, beaten, and in 90% of the cases, executed. The allied forces had reached America's shores and started the Liberation.

Within 3 months, all death camps were liberated, Canada had soldiers from nearly every Eastern country stationed in it against Nazi attack and Mexico was being protected via shoreline destroyers, Cuban missile silos and Soviet airforce sweeps. The Nazis were pushed back into the southern area of Nazi America, and eventually into Alabama, Texas and Tennessee. In the timeframe of 2-5 weeks, these states were eventually freed of the Nazis. But at what cost?

Historians put the total casualties of the Nazi forces at close to 95,000,000, with 23,000,000 of those being from the death camps themselves. However, many mass graves are still being found to this day, and the exact number is too horrendous to even think of.

The US was turned over to the United Nations until further actions could be taken to ensure the safety of the once great land. All former Nazi citizens were given Canadian or Mexican citizenship effective half a century. For the next 80 years, Western technology and science discovery ground to a halt as most promising scientists and phillosophers had been killed in the death camps. The global economy suffered a tremendous depression that it has yet to fully recover from, if ever.

Das Fuhrer Bush was never seen again, disappearing 2 months before the Nazi regime of America fell. The Iraqi governent says they found his body, in a Scottish Baptist church, sprawled over the altar, with a ritualistic knife stuck in his chest as a final self sacrifice to das Kaiser, his leader, his god.

The Earth governments have since adapted strict policies on seperation of church and state and constitutional rights for all peoples and races and creeds, to ensure that Nazi America never happened again.

__________________________________________________ ___________________

[ September 13, 2002: Message edited by: Oxidizing Material ]</p>