fatherphil

and how would you approach the situation if you were in his shoes?

dangin

The worse the girl looks the less the light glares on Kobe. She's gonna get splashed. No secrets, was she a "groupie", what about the suicide attempt, how many other's has she slept with. Her private life is fodder for private dicks, and tabloid journalists.

brighid

I don't think we know enough of the facts of the case to determine whether he is innocent or guilty of sexual assault. It really bothers me that the victims private life is being dragged out in order to detract from facts of the case, before it is even tried.
This type of deliberate destruction of the victim is why so many assault and rape victims choose not to come forward. It is irrelevant if she slept with one or one hundred men. A "lose" woman is no more deserving of being assaulted then a "virgin."

It is unfortunate that he didn't come forward earlier and say, "Yes, I had sex with this woman but it was consensual" and instead waited until the physical evidence was substantial enough to determine that sexual intercourse took place.

Brighid

dangin

Brighid, you are of course right. But on the other hand, there was the kennedy smith fellow a few years back who got wrung through the wringer on a similar case. But he had sex with her earlier in the night and it was consensual. Then they were in the middle of round two, and he called her by the wrong name and she freaks out and calls it rape.

I think the most important thing about this is that we don't know yet, just like you said.

brighid

Yes, and frankly I am not sure that these things should be a matter of public specticle until more information IS known AND can be shared. I think too many peoples lives are ruined due to the prurient minds of our society, and innocent people are deemed guilty long before a trial begins.

Brighid

fatherphil

but is this all not the natural risk of having sex with strangers? add to this the possibility that kobe's wife was subjected to certain risks without knowing.

i think that a plea bargin should be explored, that's what i would be doing.

Derec

I agree. But what we do know does go in favor of Kobe.
She visited his room after she was off. She waited 12-14 hours to report it as "rape". His bodyguards were about.

Quote:

It really bothers me that the victims private life is being dragged out in order to detract from facts of the case, before it is even tried.

First of all, it is alledged victim. A man wrongly accused of rape is as much a victim as a woman that has been raped. This far in the
game they both could be victims, we don't know. So who do you mean by "victim" in the above sentence?

Also, yes, private life should not be "dragged out". But that should apply equally to accuser and the accused. Also, it should only apply to details of private lives that are not relevant to the case. That can include someone's sexual history.

Quote:

This type of deliberate destruction of the victim is why so many assault and rape victims choose not to come forward.

The lives of men wrongly accused of rape are also being "deliberately destructed" by the accusers and the DA office.

Quote:

It is irrelevant if she slept with one or one hundred men. A "lose" woman is no more deserving of being assaulted then a "virgin."

I agree with the last part, not with the first. The above fact can be relevant in some cases and should not be excluded a priori. For example it can be used to determine the trustworthiness of the accuser.

Also, in this case it is not sexual history but history of mental problems and attempted suicide.

Quote:

It is unfortunate that he didn't come forward earlier and say, "Yes, I had sex with this woman but it was consensual" and instead waited until the physical evidence was substantial enough to determine that sexual intercourse took place.

Of course he did that because he was a married man. That was wrong, however that does not make him more likely to be guily of rape.

UMoC

brighid

I think it part of the risk, but even if it is risky I do not think people should be accussed or convicted of crimes they did not commit.

I particularly despise adultery, even if I support the rights of those adults who choose to have open relationships and sex with multiple partners. His wife and his family have been put in a terrible position, regardless if he is actually guilty of sexual assault.

His choice was irresponsible, selfish and extremely destructive. Unfortunately, in the world of professional sports this is sadly the norm and not the exception. It is actually encouraged.

Brighid

fatherphil

i'm surprised (maybe disappointed is the better word) at the majority of people rushing to his defence (and consequently the girl's attack) without even knowing the facts of the case. if kobe was a preacher instead of an athlete it would be a different story.

brighid

I do think disappointed IS a better word, because I am not at all surprised. Unfortunately I see this is more the modus operandi in these cases then the opposite - attack the allegeded victims credibility and bring up any past sexual relationships she might have had in order to paint her as loose.

Right now we don't know the facts of the case and it is dangerous to formulate conclusions before more is known. I am reserving my final judgments until later, and I wish others would as well but alas ... I have no control over what others think and do.

It is impossible to know who is guilty and innocent in this case, even if everyone has their suspicions and biases (my own included.)

Brighid