Jagged

Tho I do think there are biological factors which influence the meaning of sex in our lives, I think for me sex is always more about personal expression of a moment than a reasoned allocation of a quantity like "emotional involvement."

Not to say that I can't make committments which involve sexual exclusivity, but fundamentally sex is a form of expression, communication even - I give it meaning every time I engage in it.

Pseudonymph

Hmm...this has given me a lot to think about. Part of the reason I asked this question, besides having my curiosity piqued in another thread, was that I've been reading up on "sexual energy" and other things like that and it's really pretty fascinating.

I mean, even when I have sex just casually with no "real" emotion, theres still this _feeling_ there...of some kind of connection or bond. Even if I never see that person again I still feel like a connection has been made. Even after the deed is done...

I think I'm trying to understand what that feeling actually is. What do you think it is? I mean if sex is just another act like any other involving two people...why does it make people think and act the way they do?

Lord Asriel

When you have sex with someone, you make yourself completely vulnerable to them, with involves placing your trust in them. Maybe the feeling you are talking about is the formation of a bond of trust.

luvluv

Glory:

So, did you mean this:

?

tronvillain

luvluv:

Again, saying that sex should be devoid of stigma and taboo is not the same as saying anything goes. While sex does not necessarily have meaning, it frequently does have meaning, and when it does is not really a matter of choice. That has nothing to do with eliminating taboos associated with sex.

Glory

Yes. Granted, I have used the word mongamous differently than you I suspect. I am concerned about my husband having a relationship with someone else. In that respect, I want him to be monogamous. Basically, I have a different idea of what constitutes infidelity than you.

Glory

Jamie_L

Well, that's roughly what I said in the sentence after the sentence you quoted from my post. People should be up front with their partners about what sex means to them and what they need/desire/expect out of sex and relationships.

Well, I'm certainly no sex researcher. My anecdotal experience: yes. I've known at least one person who had non/minimal-emotional sexual relationships at the same time as they were having a deeply-emotional sexual relationsip. All parties involved were open with each other and knew what was going on. It appeared to work for all parties involved.

Jamie

D.H. Cross

Interesting. Your response is totally consistent with the predictions of the book The Moral Animal. Women fear their men getting into realtionships with other women while men tend to hate the idea of their woman fucking another man. I have not heard of too many exceptions to this pattern.

Sabine Grant

I think that Siren presented her argument based on a long term relationship which implicates some degree of emotional bond. please correct me Siren if I misinterpreted your opening thread.

In the case of "one night stand", it makes sense that none of the partners expect any degree of any relationship. However, it appears to me that most people engage in sexual relations as a desire to become more intimate or sort of seal their initial relationship. At least, I have met in my life more people having sex as part of a relationship than as a "one night stand".

Especialy in this day and age when monogamous relationships are encouraged as a way to avoid STDS and HIV.

Sabine Grant

Could it also be that both sides ( men and women) experinece a feeling of betrayal and loss? ie the sexual life they experience with one another is to be exclusive and fulfilling and if one of them goes to another source to seek fulfillment, the message is " you do not suffice anylonger.. you are a failure.." etc. In long term relationships, cheating implicates that there is an emotional detachment from the initial partner. It means " I do not love you".