Pseudonymph

Sorry guys but something got me thinking...(in the other sex thread currently here)

It seems that many people here are saying that sex with anything emotionally attatched is something left over from more prudish times or from religion. I was wondering then...does that not equate sex with say, scratching ones nose?

So what's to get you upset if, in a monogomous relationship you get cheated on. I've heard the argument before that you may not cheat because your partner requested that you not, which makes it wrong...but if it's equivalent to scratching your nose, than what right do you have to be upset?

I'm sorry if this was covered in the other thread but I couldn't find it.

I'm not out to prove anything or anyone wrong but I'm just curious to know how some people feel about this.

Thanks!

Priapus

Heres my (very simplistic) take on it. Women don't like being "cheated on" for fear that he will split his obligations and spend time providing for another woman and/or children that may come as a result of the affair. Men don't like it because of the fear of being "cuckolded" (spending time providing for a woman/children who are not his genetic descendants). Theres a lot more weight attatched to sex then scratching your nose...of course if you're going around just indiscriminately scratching people's noses you might get some funny looks too!

Priapus

Heres my (very simplistic) take on it. Women don't like being "cheated on" for fear that the man involved will split his obligations with her and spend time providing for another woman and/or the children that may come as a result of the affair. Men don't like being cheated on for fear of being "cuckolded" (spending time providing for a woman/children who are not his genetic descendants). Theres a lot more weight attatched to sex then scratching your nose...of course if you're going around just indiscriminately scratching people's noses you might get some funny looks too!

Edited - 'cause I no type good!

Corwin

It's mostly a personal honor question.

If you're in a monogamous relationship, you need to remain monogamous. After all... you made the agreement, it's not as if the requirement is some huge surprise to you.

Pseudonymph

Right...but many people still agree to remain monogmous but then get pissed when they are cheated on. It's like I said before...it's like scratching the nose if you attach nothing more to it than a physical act. Do you have a right to be mad if your partner scratches their nose while looking at someone else?

Glory

I think your premise is a little off. Sex does not necessarily include emotional attachment. It often does, but it doesn't have to. That is what I have seen most people asserting. Also, this emotional attachment is of varying degree.

I am confident that there are many people for whom sex is not more signifigant than scratching one's nose. That in no way means that all people regard sex as insignifigant.

That said, sex can be signifigant without being in any way related to religious belief or prudishness.

We are individuals. We each resond differently to each situation. There are no absolutes and no universals.

Glory

tronvillain

If sex had no more emotional significance to someone than scratching an itch, then they would not honestly be in a monogomous relationship. Well, except perhaps to minimize exposure to sexual transmitted diseases.

Anyway, I do not think emotional attachment is a vestige of religion, it is just not always present.

Pseudonymph

well thats my point...it seems that many people say that sex shouldn't have any stigma of the "old way" attatched to it. So whats keeping you from not being monogomous...

Glory

My desire to be monogamous, my desire to please my husband and my desire to have my husband be monogamous. These desires are not dictated by stigma or social pressure. They are dictated by what I believe will make me happiest in my marraige.

Glory

Corwin

Nothing at all really, except the possibility for my partner to be monogamous. Monogamy isn't the only way, isn't the only acceptable way, and isn't the 'right' way for everyone. Unfortunately our society is set up to give preference to it, and it's usually assumed.