Freethought & Rationalism Archive

HomoSapien · 10-02-2002, 02:43 PM

The story stops suddenly with Jesus having a passionate debate with the Rabbis on the steps of the Temple.

Then suddenly resumes when he's thirty at a Wedding party in Cana.

But where was he for 17 years......

did he wander the hills of Palestine, thinking deep thoughts with classical music playing in the background like in Ben Hur.

Or did he trip on down to India/Tibet..learn the secrets of the yogi masters and then return, able to heal, speak of deep spiritual issues...

or does it really matter at all?

and will Britney Spears ever big a big star after 30....

offa · 10-02-2002, 03:26 PM

offa; It's about the "twelve year rule". A twelve year-old Essene becomes a 1 year old child on his 13th birthday (Bar Mitzvah). Jesus was born in 7 b.c.e. and became a 1 year-old Child in A.D. 6 (Augustus' census). The babe in the manger is a thirteen year-old. The "about thirty" year old is an about 17 year-old "Child". BTW, the 8 year-old who gets raped is in her early twenties and she was raped by her husband. (still happens today)

Grumpy · 10-02-2002, 03:53 PM

Huh? Is this Amos?

Throbert McGee · 10-03-2002, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HomoSapien:
The story stops suddenly with Jesus having a passionate debate with the Rabbis on the steps of the Temple.

Then suddenly resumes when he's thirty at a Wedding party in Cana.

But where was he for 17 years......

He was off using his creepy Village of the Damned powers to terrorize those who crossed him. (And, I'll just bet, to make the bras of the Nazareth High School cheerleading squad fly off telekinetically, like Scott Baio in Zapped!) It's <a href="http://throbert.blogspot.com/2002_03_10_throbert_archive.html#10650754" target="_blank">all detailed</a> in the very weird "Gospels of the Infancy of the Savior," which were popular in the early Church but never accepted into the canon, for reasons that hardly need pointing out.

[ October 03, 2002: Message edited by: Throbert McGee ]

Starboy · 10-03-2002, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by offa:
offa; It's about the "twelve year rule". A twelve year-old Essene becomes a 1 year old child on his 13th birthday (Bar Mitzvah). Jesus was born in 7 b.c.e. and became a 1 year-old Child in A.D. 6 (Augustus' census). The babe in the manger is a thirteen year-old. The "about thirty" year old is an about 17 year-old "Child". BTW, the 8 year-old who gets raped is in her early twenties and she was raped by her husband. (still happens today)

Offa, do you think that Jesus was raised an Essene or did he pick it up from John the Baptist?

HaysooChreesto! · 10-03-2002, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by offa:
offa; It's about the "twelve year rule". A twelve year-old Essene becomes a 1 year old child on his 13th birthday (Bar Mitzvah). Jesus was born in 7 b.c.e. and became a 1 year-old Child in A.D. 6 (Augustus' census). The babe in the manger is a thirteen year-old. The "about thirty" year old is an about 17 year-old "Child". BTW, the 8 year-old who gets raped is in her early twenties and she was raped by her husband. (still happens today)

Wh-wh-what?
Whatever.

I saw a comedian once who speculated about the same things;
"Jesus excelled in sports. He quarterbacked the Bethlehem Wildcats to three straight championships. He was also the life of the party. One time he was at a party where there was only one beer and one bag of chips, and he made enough for everyone".

bocajeff · 10-03-2002, 04:51 PM

Someone should do a spoof of Smallville using Jesus instead of Superman. The storylines of Jesus as pimply-faced high school loser would be priceless.

offa · 10-03-2002, 05:35 PM

Offa; I am not sure John the Baptist was an Essene. I think he was a Samaritan and that is another cult. The family of David was closely connected to the Herod's and the Baptist's murder may have been perpretrated by Jesus' followers.

Thanks, Offa

HomoSapien · 10-03-2002, 06:11 PM

Now, see..personally, I think John the Baptist was an Essene. He was preaching its doctrine of symbolic purifciaton by water, that the Kindgom of God was at hand, and Repentence was key.

In fact one of the rules of the Essenes was to NOT reveal its doctrine. I think John began to speak about them, at first timidly to people, and when he was thrown out of the Essene order...he really went to town and publically shouted its doctrine to the world.

The real question for me..is how much was Jesus influenced by the Essenes?

[ October 03, 2002: Message edited by: HomoSapien ]

atrahasis · 10-04-2002, 04:05 AM

I think the most important question here is, Did he even exist at all......Was the entire 'drama' set on a stage?

But anyway lets assume he did actually exist, where was he for 17 years....may be in a certain university in egypt or most likely the university of Timbuktu in west Africa.....

10-03-2002, 06:11 PM	#9
HomoSapien Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: California Posts: 33	Now, see..personally, I think John the Baptist was an Essene. He was preaching its doctrine of symbolic purifciaton by water, that the Kindgom of God was at hand, and Repentence was key. In fact one of the rules of the Essenes was to NOT reveal its doctrine. I think John began to speak about them, at first timidly to people, and when he was thrown out of the Essene order...he really went to town and publically shouted its doctrine to the world. The real question for me..is how much was Jesus influenced by the Essenes? [ October 03, 2002: Message edited by: HomoSapien ]</p>

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10-02-2002, 02:43 PM	#1
HomoSapien Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: California Posts: 33	Jesus; where did that boy go to for 17 years? The story stops suddenly with Jesus having a passionate debate with the Rabbis on the steps of the Temple. Then suddenly resumes when he's thirty at a Wedding party in Cana. But where was he for 17 years...... did he wander the hills of Palestine, thinking deep thoughts with classical music playing in the background like in Ben Hur. Or did he trip on down to India/Tibet..learn the secrets of the yogi masters and then return, able to heal, speak of deep spiritual issues... or does it really matter at all? and will Britney Spears ever big a big star after 30....

10-02-2002, 03:26 PM	#2
offa Regular Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Monroeville, Ohio, USA Posts: 440	offa; It's about the "twelve year rule". A twelve year-old Essene becomes a 1 year old child on his 13th birthday (Bar Mitzvah). Jesus was born in 7 b.c.e. and became a 1 year-old Child in A.D. 6 (Augustus' census). The babe in the manger is a thirteen year-old. The "about thirty" year old is an about 17 year-old "Child". BTW, the 8 year-old who gets raped is in her early twenties and she was raped by her husband. (still happens today)

10-02-2002, 03:53 PM	#3
Grumpy Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Alaska, USA Posts: 1,535	Huh? Is this Amos?

10-03-2002, 04:51 PM	#7
bocajeff Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: HelL.A. Posts: 1,157	Someone should do a spoof of Smallville using Jesus instead of Superman. The storylines of Jesus as pimply-faced high school loser would be priceless.

10-03-2002, 05:35 PM	#8
offa Regular Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Monroeville, Ohio, USA Posts: 440	Offa; I am not sure John the Baptist was an Essene. I think he was a Samaritan and that is another cult. The family of David was closely connected to the Herod's and the Baptist's murder may have been perpretrated by Jesus' followers. Thanks, Offa

10-04-2002, 04:05 AM	#10
atrahasis Regular Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: South of Sahara Posts: 216	I think the most important question here is, Did he even exist at all......Was the entire 'drama' set on a stage? But anyway lets assume he did actually exist, where was he for 17 years....may be in a certain university in egypt or most likely the university of Timbuktu in west Africa.....

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