sighhswolf

Wasatch,

First let me make a statement for what it's worth.
Mormonism has some good points (the church welfare system, it's emphasis on the family unit)
but in my 25 years as a priesthood holder I discovered that the unacceptable far outweighs
the acceptable.
You are right about the doctrines and the testimonies of members. The entire design of Mormon doctrine is built upon the isolation of it's members from all other forms of worship.
Like many cults, they seek to control you and your thinking processes by repetitive linguistics.

From the minute you are confirmed, an intensive
mental attack begins from every single member of the ward. The smiles, the handshakes, the hugs, the praise for being in the "right" place.
Quickly they will find out what capabilities you have and start searching for a "calling" for you.
All these things are designed to occupy your intellect and take control of your time.
The GA's recognize that a mormon with free time will probably lapse into "jack" status.
Their aim is to establish the church as the center point and the highest priority in your life.
Not only do they strive to monopolize every free minute in your life by assignment, they will check up on you in your home and relay the information of how you run your household back
to the appropriate authority.
The home teacher program is used as a tool, a verification that you do in fact follow the doctrines of the church within the confines of your home and family. ( this under the guise of fellowship, which makes it even more distasteful)

My disillusionment began when I recognized that
there were no blacks holding positions within the
priesthood ranks, nor were there any females doing anything other than teaching and relief society.
I asked myself whether this was as it seemed a
position of sexism and bigotry and my personal answer was yes.

Of course my experience is unique to me, but Mormonism is no different than any other forms of organized religion in the fact that it recognized that to present the correct political facade, some doctrines must be revised.
The question was why were there problems with image in the first place?
If in fact it is the only "true" faith, it would seem that no changes would have to be made to satisfy outside sources and bring the church closer to mainstream christian theology.

Your personal search may be a long and sometimes
unproductive endeavor, but at least you have taken the first step and you will find (as I did)
that the more you search the more you find that LDS doctrine falling like a house of playing cards.

And as you investigate and look for truth remember this, " One of the grand fundamental principles of Mormonism is to recieve truth.
Let it come from where it may."
The diaries and journals of Joseph Smith.
JS himself gives the charge to take "truth" from any source and make it your own.

And the D&C " ..study and learn and become acquainted with all good books, languages, tongues, and people". D&C 90:15

No one can fault you for searching out the truth.
EVER...good luck.
Wolf