Freethought & Rationalism Archive

faded_Glory · 10-18-2002, 04:28 PM

On a cloud, somewhere up high�

Father, can I have a word with you, please?

-Huh?

You know, I think things are becoming a bit of a mess, down there�

-What�s that, Ghost?

Well, ever since that moron Adam took a bite of the apple and you threw him out, his offspring have been sinning like madmen, and as a result Hell is overflowing and we don�t get anybody up here to keep us company. Haven�t you noticed how quiet it is up here? Just you and me, oh and that son of yours running round somewhere being begotten.

-Now that you say�

And sshh, listen, if those bl**dy angels would stop making that racket on their harps for a moment, you could hear all that wailing and gnashing of teeth. Annoying. To be honest, this creation of ours doesn�t look like much anymore. Drowning the lot of them hasn�t really helped at all, in hindsight. What do you think?

-Hmm. You know, you may be on to something. You reckon it is time to wind the whole thing down and go back to do a bit of floating in the void, just like in the good old days? Wouldn�t mind myself, creations are fun for a while, but in the end what do you do with them?

Oh, I don�t know, I think that maybe we could still try to turn things around, but I must confess I am not sure how. All that sinning�. We can�t have that up here, I don�t think your heart would stand it. If only we could get rid of the sins without spoiling the sinners themselves, we could perhaps let them in here and liven the place up a bit. Monopoly ain�t half fun with just the two of us�

-You are right, Ghost, no sinners up here, I can�t stand them. Why isn�t there anybody we can trust? Do you think we may have overdone that original sin thing a bit? It looked like a good plan at the time, but maybe we should have thought ahead a bit�

person enters from left

Jesus! Could you please come over here for a moment?

--Sure! How are you�all doing? Not a bad day, what?

Whatever. Listen to your father for a moment, he wants to talk to you.

-That�s right. Look son, Ghost and I have been thinking that this creation down there is in a crappy state, and we were wondering what to do about it. They just don�t seem to care about anything, they sin like it costs nothing. And as a result they can�t come up here and end up frying, and the noise and smell is getting a bit gross. Now, since you seem to have not that much on your hands right now, being begotten and all that, how would you feel about spending a bit of time down there and help us sort it out?

--Me? Going down to Earth? Cool! I love to travel, you know, but up here it all looks a bit the same. Wow! Can�t believe it, me going to Earth and all that! When do I go? Are you coming as well? What do I need to pack?

Calm down, Jeesh! I don�t think your father or I will come along. He has been there a few times in the past, but didn�t quite fancy it. Wherever he went, bushes caught fire and what not. And I can�t stand bodies, they weigh a ton. No, I think you better go alone. But we will keep in touch via the prayphone � do you have any credits left?

-That�s right, Jesus. Just go down yourself, maybe as a baby or so to prevent popping into existence out of thin air and breaking the law. I�ll see if I can find a suitable woman�hm� let�s see� why are you pulling such a face, Ghost?

--But father, what am I going to do when I am there?

-Well, first of all you have to learn a decent trade, housepainter or some such thing, since I won�t be giving you that all that much pocket money, maybe a bit of gold and myrrh to start you off. Once you know how to look after yourself, go and find an old buddy of mine, J the B, and he will help you from there. I�ll talk to him about it. He�s a real character!

--OK, I�m still not sure, but if you say so I guess it should be all right. I can always tell them stories about you and Ghost and how much fun we have up here. They�ll look forward to come back with me�..hey, come to think of it, how do I get back? I don�t have to stay there forever, do I? I hope not, it rains there a lot!

Don�t worry, Jeesh, your father and I will get you back, we have a plan that can�t go wrong. Getting you down there is going to be fun (ahem), but getting you up again is going to be a real hoot!

--Thanks, Ghost, I guess I�d better find my stuff and get ready.

leaves via the right

-You do that, son, while Ghost and I finalise the plans. Ghost, come over here a minute. For this to work, this sin thing, I�m afraid we have to get into some unpleasant business. Let me explain�..

curtain

fG

Vibr8gKiwi · 10-18-2002, 04:44 PM

"bl**dy?" That's a swear word worth bleeping?

And my god that was boring... reminded me of the mind-numbingly boring (secret) <a href="http://www.helpingmormons.org/1990temple1.htm" target="_blank">Mormon Endowment Ceremony.</a>

[ October 18, 2002: Message edited by: Vibr8gKiwi ]</p>

10-18-2002, 04:28 PM	#1
faded_Glory Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Cairo, Egypt Posts: 1,128	a story made in heaven? On a cloud, somewhere up high� Father, can I have a word with you, please? -Huh? You know, I think things are becoming a bit of a mess, down there� -What�s that, Ghost? Well, ever since that moron Adam took a bite of the apple and you threw him out, his offspring have been sinning like madmen, and as a result Hell is overflowing and we don�t get anybody up here to keep us company. Haven�t you noticed how quiet it is up here? Just you and me, oh and that son of yours running round somewhere being begotten. -Now that you say� And sshh, listen, if those bl*dy angels would stop making that racket on their harps for a moment, you could hear all that wailing and gnashing of teeth. Annoying. To be honest, this creation of ours doesn�t look like much anymore. Drowning the lot of them hasn�t really helped at all, in hindsight. What do you think? -Hmm. You know, you may be on to something. You reckon it is time to wind the whole thing down and go back to do a bit of floating in the void, just like in the good old days? Wouldn�t mind myself, creations are fun for a while, but in the end what do you do with them? Oh, I don�t know, I think that maybe we could still try to turn things around, but I must confess I am not sure how. All that sinning�. We can�t have that up here, I don�t think your heart would stand it. If only we could get rid of the sins without spoiling the sinners themselves, we could perhaps let them in here and liven the place up a bit. Monopoly ain�t half fun with just the two of us� -You are right, Ghost, no sinners up here, I can�t stand them. Why isn�t there anybody* we can trust? Do you think we may have overdone that original sin thing a bit? It looked like a good plan at the time, but maybe we should have thought ahead a bit� person enters from left Jesus! Could you please come over here for a moment? --Sure! How are you�all doing? Not a bad day, what? Whatever. Listen to your father for a moment, he wants to talk to you. -That�s right. Look son, Ghost and I have been thinking that this creation down there is in a crappy state, and we were wondering what to do about it. They just don�t seem to care about anything, they sin like it costs nothing. And as a result they can�t come up here and end up frying, and the noise and smell is getting a bit gross. Now, since you seem to have not that much on your hands right now, being begotten and all that, how would you feel about spending a bit of time down there and help us sort it out? --Me? Going down to Earth? Cool! I love to travel, you know, but up here it all looks a bit the same. Wow! Can�t believe it, me going to Earth and all that! When do I go? Are you coming as well? What do I need to pack? Calm down, Jeesh! I don�t think your father or I will come along. He has been there a few times in the past, but didn�t quite fancy it. Wherever he went, bushes caught fire and what not. And I can�t stand bodies, they weigh a ton. No, I think you better go alone. But we will keep in touch via the prayphone � do you have any credits left? -That�s right, Jesus. Just go down yourself, maybe as a baby or so to prevent popping into existence out of thin air and breaking the law. I�ll see if I can find a suitable woman�hm� let�s see� why are you pulling such a face, Ghost? --But father, what am I going to do when I am there? -Well, first of all you have to learn a decent trade, housepainter or some such thing, since I won�t be giving you that all that much pocket money, maybe a bit of gold and myrrh to start you off. Once you know how to look after yourself, go and find an old buddy of mine, J the B, and he will help you from there. I�ll talk to him about it. He�s a real character! --OK, I�m still not sure, but if you say so I guess it should be all right. I can always tell them stories about you and Ghost and how much fun we have up here. They�ll look forward to come back with me�..hey, come to think of it, how do I get back? I don�t have to stay there forever, do I? I hope not, it rains there a lot! Don�t worry, Jeesh, your father and I will get you back, we have a plan that can�t go wrong. Getting you down there is going to be fun (ahem), but getting you up again is going to be a real hoot! --Thanks, Ghost, I guess I�d better find my stuff and get ready. leaves via the right -You do that, son, while Ghost and I finalise the plans. Ghost, come over here a minute. For this to work, this sin thing, I�m afraid we have to get into some unpleasant business. Let me explain�.. curtain fG

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

10-18-2002, 04:44 PM	#2
Vibr8gKiwi Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: CA, USA Posts: 543	"bl**dy?" That's a swear word worth bleeping? And my god that was boring... reminded me of the mind-numbingly boring (secret) <a href="http://www.helpingmormons.org/1990temple1.htm" target="_blank">Mormon Endowment Ceremony.</a> [ October 18, 2002: Message edited by: Vibr8gKiwi ]</p>

Freethought & Rationalism Archive

The archives are read only.