Karyn

kass - well done!!!

Kassiana

Color me red, 'cause I'm blushing!

I don't have any newspaper columns, but believe it or not, I wrote a semi-funny one for my college paper once. I was a sports reporter (really!) during the summer one year, and I wrote a column on what it was like to be a bike user in my area. (I had no car at the time.)

I am not a professional author, either, but I'm encouraged that y'all think I could be!

I have to admit that part of the Roy thing isn't original. You see, I've visited other boards he spams (and spams, and spams...he posts there EXACTLY what he posts on CF and he's just as irritable when you call him on it), and one of those places was where someone got annoyed and called him Real Wrong Man. (He was right, but that's beside the point...)

I apologize if I offended anyone by leaving you out, but I can guarantee if you give me additional material, Thed will write about you in his next edition of "CF: The Pagan Wars."

Praxiteles

Kass, perhaps you ought to think about writing, seriously. The pieces that you wrote really are quite clever. I'm utterly looking forward to the next edition.

Waiting....

Well, where is it?

Kassiana

Atheists to Blame, Our Source Says

In the very latest development on CF, now we have learned that a war has broken out in Generally Apologetic Forum on there. Two atheists, Teddy and Nermal, started it. It was unclear from our source as to why. "I just don't know why they started with the war thing, man. I mean, most atheists are pacifist cowards anyhow, so there must be something really important to this conflict," said WoollyWombatWhomper. "They're calling it a 'blessing' war, probably in contempt of all us smart religious people because we know God and they're just, like, too stupid to see Him."

It was unclear if the evil Pagan Sunshine was involved. We attempted to interview Nermal, but she wasn't very helpful. We asked her if the evil Pagan had sparked her war, and she giggled cutely. We asked her if there was a big attempt by atheists to take over CF, and she moved on to laughter. We asked if this was an anti-Christian conspiracy, and she howled out, "What a maroon!"

(We were not wearing maroon at the time.)

We will continue to give you regular updates from the front lines as this war continues to develop.

--By Thed Harborn

Praxiteles

Ha ha! Excrement!

Kass, you are a bona fide natural!

Amie

Hey Sulphur come pick me up first so I can go with you to watch Prax perform

I missed talking to you Sulphur, I am glad to see you are here

Praxiteles

Hey, you aren't going to boo too, are you? You don't want to see a grown bad-guy cry on stage, do ya?

Amie

LOL Hiya Prax
nahhh I'll drown out Sulphur's boo's with claps! Maybe I'll buy him some drinks first and we'll see if we can get him up on stage with you

Kassiana

you're gonna love THIS one!

Final Report: Stay Out of God's Way, RealWrongMan Warns

The latest news is that God is really angry, according to RealWrongMan. However, what isn't clear is what God is angry about. RealWrongMan implied that God is angry about Hollywood.

One source agreed with him. MoreBlueThanGreen reports that, "God hates the 'Hollywood lifestyle.' All that drinking and eating and wearing fancy clothes, all the expensive and well-decorated homes, all the lovely and uninhibited sex...I mean all the disgusting and perverted acts they commit...Why can't Hollywoodists stop demanding our time and attention? Why can't they just live quietly in the closet?"

Others aren't too sure. SkepticalMarvin asserts that God lacks control and could freak out again, like He is reported to many times in the Bible. "He could just go through and kill the firstborn child in every town, or cause an earthquake. You can't trust God to keep control of Himself." GunnagetyaSgt insists that God is angry because people are protesting against the war. "God ain't no coward, and God hates cowards! Cowards cowards cowards!"

In any case, you have been warned. Stay out of God's way, for whatever reason. He just isn't friendly tonight.

Praxiteles

Publish! Publish! This stuff is fantastic.

I steer well clear of PloyWM and Giddysgt these days, so you have some guts getting involved with them. Keep it up, please. You're marvellous.