ElectEngr

Last night, I went with my wife (the one with the PhD in Microbioloogy, I'm divorced and she is actually my second wife). My wife is a lapsed Catholic, going to a Catholic grade school and high school, but she still holds deep believies.

Anyway we went to a "Resolve" meeting in St. Louis ("Resolve" is a support group for infertile people/couples) and the topic was "Faith and infertility". The speaker was Rev. Laura Taylor, who was featured in a episode of "Religion and Ethics" on PBS. She's a assistant pastor for a United Methodist Church in St Louis.

When my wife and I decided to try the Infertility route to having children a little over two years ago, she told me to "shut up!!" about my lack of faith when talking to the children about faith. At which point , I ** almost ** told her to pack her s[censored] and get the f[censored] out.

I forgot how it got to this at the Resolve meeting, but the rev. was talking about how people have this conception of healing being the laying on of hands and falling over on the floor.

I then blerted out "Like Benny Hinn". and she said , "Yes, like Benny Hinn". My wife looked over at me like she thought I wouldn't know about shuch people.

The the Rev brings up what she considers several good books to read to help during times of crises, like infertility. One was a fictional novel that I forgot the name of right now. The other one was "The Case for Faith" by Lee Stroble. She had a hard time trying to describe Lee so I again blerted out, " He was a reporter for the Trib. in Chicago".

She sd yes, he was a reported for the Tribune and that he had written another book. At which I blerted out "The Case for Christ". I ahve this habit of blerting out.

She then agrred with me and asked if I had read the books. I said that, no I hadn't but I had read several reviews of the books and several good rebutatals on the Internet.

(At that point, my wife walked out of the room and went to the bathroom)

Rev Taylor then goes on that Stroble was a "non-beliver" when he started writting the books and interviewing several "outstanding experts" in the feild came to a faith in jebus.

I pointed out the the people he interviewed were apologist (sp?).

The rev then goes on to talk about the "power of prayer" and how "studies show the effectivness of people praying for others". My wife and returned by this point, so I just kept queit. thinking to myself 'What studies? Can you name them?"

The group Q&A with the Rev. wound down and my wife and I went home.

I hope my spelling dosne't suck to much, I'm wsritting this at work with out the benefit of a spell checker.

Later,
ElectEngr

[ December 13, 2002: Message edited by: ElectEngr ]</p>

Wyz_sub10

First of all, I can appreciate the difficult position you are in. If I offered prayers, you'd be in them.

But I think (and I realize that I am being bold here) there is a fundamental problem if you both want children and your wife is content to go the faith route.

When things don't happen (and they likely will not without some intervention), will she not become resentful? Might she blame you - the faithless one - as a reason?

I hope the both of you can reach a solution that will allow you to achieve your goals and still stay on the good terms necessary for a good marriage.

My wife and I attended RC marriage classes (because we were married in an RC church), and they did this thing on fertility that infuriated me. I didn't say anything aloud, but I wrote several polite criticisms in the evaluation. The biggest issue I have is when trusting people get bad advice.

Pitshade

This might be more suited to either Sec. Life or General Religion. I'll opt for the latter.

jess

I am not sure what the point of the OP is, it seems to have hit so many.

DH and I used ART (assited reproductive technology) for four years. During that time, I spent a great deal of time on IF boards (surprise, huh?) Those with faith seemed to have it harder thanthose without, imho.

There was quite often mention of how every woman in the bible who prays to have a child is granted one, thus what were they (the women on the board) doing wrong?

There is also the wonderful curse that David and Yahweh put on Saul's daugther for laughing at David's dancing. They made her infertile. Having been there, that is no just god.