rubbercok3000

Dancing in Taliban Blood: God's 10 Secrets for the Perfect War!


In this age of the secularization (Satanization) of society, America’s 21st century soldiers may not know how God wants them to behave while fighting our enemies. The following are the 10 most prominent Biblical tips for waging a Godly war in the Middle East.

10.AFTER CONQUERING A CITY, IF YOU FIND A DECENT LOOKING WOMAN UNDER ONE OF THOSE BEE KEEPER OUTFITS, MAKE HER YOUR SLAVE.

“And when the Lord thy God hath delivered [a city] into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword: But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself” (Deuteronomy 20:13-14).
“And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males. . . . And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods” (Numbers 31:7-9).


9.THOUGH INCONVENIENT, WHEN KILLING THE PEOPLE, BE SURE TO NOT TO HURT THEIR TREES (‘CAUSE THAT WOULD BE WASTEFUL).

“When thou shalt besiege a city a long time, in making war against it to take it, thou shalt not destroy the trees thereof by forcing an axe against them: for thou mayeth eat of them, and thou shalt not cut them down (for the tree of the field is man’s life) to employ them in the siege” (Deuteronomy 20:19).

8.DON’T STOP WITH KILLING THEIR SOLDIERS. RUB IT IN. DIP YOUR FEET IN THEIR BLOOD AND LET YOUR DOGS DRINK IT.

“But God shall wound the head of his enemies, and the hairy scalp of such an one as goeth on still in his trespasses. The Lord said, I will bring again from Bashan, I will bring my people again from the depths of the sea: That thy foot may be dipped in the blood of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same” (Psalms 68:21-23).

7.DON’T ANONYMOUSLY KILL BIN LADEN AND OMAR IN A BOMBING RAID. AFTER KILLING THEIR FOLLOWERS, PUBLICLY HANG THEM FOR ALL TO SEE.

“For Joshua drew not his hand back, wherewith he stretched out the spear, until he had utterly destroyed all the inhabitants of Ai. . . . And Joshua burnt Ai, and made it an heap for ever, even a desolation unto this day. And the king of Ai he hanged on a tree until eventide” (Joshua 8:26-29).

6.GIVE THEM A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE. CUT OFF THEIR HANDS AND FEET BEFORE HANGING THEM.

“And David commanded his young men, and they slew them, and cut off their hands and their feet, and hanged them up over the pool in Hebron” (2 Samuel 4:12).

5.NEVER NEGOTIATE WITH THE ENEMY. KILL THEM, SHOWING NO MERCY AT ALL.

“And when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them” (Deuteronomy 7:2).

4.DON’T BE A SISSY. HAVE NO COMPASSION FOR THESE NON-BELIEVERS. KILL THEM WHILE THEY’RE PRAYING IN CHURCH. KILL YOUNG AND OLD ALIKE, AND EVEN THOSE TOO FEEBLE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES.

“But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the Lord arose against his people, till there was no remedy. Therefore he brought upon them the king of the Chaldees, who slew their young men with the sword in the house of their sanctuary, and had no compassion upon young man or maiden, old man, or him that stooped for age: he gave them all into his hand” (2 Chronicles 36:16-17).

3.DON’T JUST KILL THE HEATHENS. STEAL THEIR PROPERTY AND GIVE IT TO THE SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONVENTION.

“And they burnt the city with fire, and all that was therein: only the silver, and the gold, and the vessels of brass and of iron, they put into the treasury of the house of the Lord”(Joshua 6:24).

2.DON’T WASTE MONEY ON P.O.W. CAMPS. THROW YOUR CAPTIVES OFF A CLIFF.

“And Amaziah said to the man of God, But what shall we do for the hundred talents which I have given to the army of Israel? And the man of God answered, The Lord is able to give thee much more than this. . . . And Amaziah strengthened himself . . . and smote the children of Seir ten thousand. And other ten thousand left alive did the children of Judah carry away captive, and brought them unto the top of the rock, and cast them down from the top of the rock, that they all were broken in pieces” (2 Chronicles 25:9-12).

1.JUST REMEMBER THIS SIMPLE RULE: KILL EVERYTHING THAT BREATHES AND DESTROY EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.

“But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth” (Deuteronomy 20:16).
“Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city [of nonbelievers] with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword” (1 Samuel 13:15).

“And that day Joshua took Makkedah, and smote it with the edge of the sword, and the king thereof he utterly destroyed, them, and all the souls that were therein; he let none remain: and he did to the king of Makkedah as he did unto the king of Jerico. Then Joshua passed from Makkedah, and all Israel with him, unto Libnah, and fought against Libnah: And the Lord delivered it also, and the king thereof, into the hand of Israel: and he smote it with the edge of the sword, and all the souls that were therein; he let none remain in it” (Joshua 10:29-30).

Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass” (1 Samuel 15:3).

Shake

Nice post!

From #7: well I am for reinstating public executions.

From #5: Kill 'em all! (Metallica fan?) or is it, "Kill 'em all. Let god sort them out."

Yeah, you gotta love that omnibenevolent OT god!

missus_gumby

*cough*Copyright 2001, Americhrist Ltd. All rights reserved.*cough*

JerryM

Here's another of God's precepts for revenge-- if God's enemies have done terrible things to you, it's quite felicitous to kill their children:

"O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed, happy shall he be who rewards thee as thou hast served us

Happy shall he be that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."

Psalm 137:7,8 (KJV)

Ensign Steve

But then where to you put the nails?

Except the trees.