Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Triple Six · 02-13-2002, 02:53 PM

Brilliant idea. Just distribute it through the God botherers as I'm sure they would be too stupid to even notice that you are jerking them off.

It would sell well here in PNG, but you would probably have trouble geting paid. Would you believe that good christians are amongst the leading payment defaulters here

?

Darwin's Finch · 02-13-2002, 02:57 PM

Awesome idea! I'll be laughing for weeks just thinking of this.

If you really produce them, I'll order several...the perfect stocking stuffers.

I'm With Stupid · 02-13-2002, 03:04 PM

I'll take one for my desk at work, one for home, two for friends, and 4 or 5 to fling around to various church groups in the area.

And... if you seriously want to do another year... simply base the next one on the Koran!

Triple Six · 02-13-2002, 03:08 PM

Brilliant idea. Just distribute it through the God botherers as I'm sure they would be too stupid to even notice that you are jerking them off.

It would sell well here in PNG, but you would probably have trouble geting paid. Would you believe that good christians are amongst the leading payment defaulters here

?

David Bowden · 02-13-2002, 04:08 PM

Possible future extensions of this 'inspired' product line...

Sacred Sentiments from Spiritual Sages:

You [female] are the one who opened the door to the Devil, you are the one who first plucked the fruit of the forbidden tree, you are the first who deserted the divine law; you are the one who persuaded him whom the Devil was not strong enough to attack. All too easily you destroyed the image of God, man. Because of your desert, that is, death, even the Son of God had to die.
--Tertullian

Righteous Recommendations from the Reformation:

Whoever wants to be a Christian must be intent on silencing the voice of reason.
-Martin Luther (Sermons on the Gospel of St. John, Luther's Works, V.23, p. 99)

Not-so-great Moments in Theology:

"This fool [Copernicus] wishes to reverse the entire science of astronomy; but sacred scripture tells us that Joshua commanded the sun to stand still, and not the earth."
-- Martin Luther

Excellent Expressions by Exbelievers:

"It was my concern, learned from Christianity, to venerate the truth that made me eventually reject Christianity, because it seems to me to play fast and loose with it."
- Robert M. Price

Megatron · 02-13-2002, 04:52 PM

Don't forget a calendar of atrocities committed by clergymen! That would be a bestseller in no time!

DarkBronzePlant · 02-14-2002, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kwigibo:


i think this would work, you don't make all the quotes the bad ones (so as to be less obvious), and sell it as a genuinely christian product. a million xians would buy it, and be paying you for the privelege to be told the horrors of their good book

So, maybe start off with some benign, cushy quotes; January would be full of "For god so loved the world..." lines, and quotes from Solomon... then get to more sinister quotes in later months, culminating in the descriptions of some of god's worst atrocities on around, say, the 25th of December.

alek0 · 02-14-2002, 07:10 AM

Hey,
just don't forget to quote Ezekiel. In my experience, Ezekiel is the best thing to make bible thumpers shut up

Poor things get so entirely shocked at the mention of donkey's big penises, one would think they didn't read their bible. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Ezekiel 23:20

You can also add his lovely diet
Ezekiel 4:15

Considering what he ate, no wonder he had visions. Finally, as Voltaire said "Who beleives in Ezekiel, deserves to dine with him".

BTW, you can also market that calendar as an aid for bulimics, lots of stuff in the bible should work great for inducing vomitting.

David Bowden · 06-07-2002, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkBronzePlant:
I am dead serious about this idea.

I want to develop a desk calendar for 2003. It'll be a standard "Bible-Quote-A-Day" calendar, where each day contains a quote from the bible. Actually, it won't quite be "standard"...

Just curious, DBP - is this still in the works?

-Wanderer

DarkBronzePlant · 06-07-2002, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wide-eyed wanderer:


Just curious, DBP - is this still in the works?

-Wanderer

Ya know, it's funny... just the other day, I was thinking about this. I realized that it's getting close to the middle of the year, and if I'm going to do it, I ought to start working on it soon.

I'm finishing up some software that I'm writing in my spare time. Once I do that, maybe I'll start working on this idea. I'll definitely put a call out for help here when I do.

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02-13-2002, 02:53 PM	#11
Triple Six Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: formerly Lae, Papua New Guinea Posts: 1,867	Brilliant idea. Just distribute it through the God botherers as I'm sure they would be too stupid to even notice that you are jerking them off. It would sell well here in PNG, but you would probably have trouble geting paid. Would you believe that good christians are amongst the leading payment defaulters here ?

02-13-2002, 02:57 PM	#12
Darwin's Finch Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Gardnerville, NV Posts: 666	Awesome idea! I'll be laughing for weeks just thinking of this. If you really produce them, I'll order several...the perfect stocking stuffers.

02-13-2002, 03:04 PM	#13
I'm With Stupid Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The Void Posts: 51	I'll take one for my desk at work, one for home, two for friends, and 4 or 5 to fling around to various church groups in the area. And... if you seriously want to do another year... simply base the next one on the Koran!

02-13-2002, 03:08 PM	#14
Triple Six Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: formerly Lae, Papua New Guinea Posts: 1,867	Brilliant idea. Just distribute it through the God botherers as I'm sure they would be too stupid to even notice that you are jerking them off. It would sell well here in PNG, but you would probably have trouble geting paid. Would you believe that good christians are amongst the leading payment defaulters here ?

02-13-2002, 04:08 PM	#15
David Bowden Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Everywhere I go. Yes, even there. Posts: 607	Possible future extensions of this 'inspired' product line... Sacred Sentiments from Spiritual Sages: You [female] are the one who opened the door to the Devil, you are the one who first plucked the fruit of the forbidden tree, you are the first who deserted the divine law; you are the one who persuaded him whom the Devil was not strong enough to attack. All too easily you destroyed the image of God, man. Because of your desert, that is, death, even the Son of God had to die. --Tertullian Righteous Recommendations from the Reformation: Whoever wants to be a Christian must be intent on silencing the voice of reason. -Martin Luther (Sermons on the Gospel of St. John, Luther's Works, V.23, p. 99) Not-so-great Moments in Theology: "This fool [Copernicus] wishes to reverse the entire science of astronomy; but sacred scripture tells us that Joshua commanded the sun to stand still, and not the earth." -- Martin Luther Excellent Expressions by Exbelievers: "It was my concern, learned from Christianity, to venerate the truth that made me eventually reject Christianity, because it seems to me to play fast and loose with it." - Robert M. Price

02-13-2002, 04:52 PM	#16
Megatron Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: New York Posts: 5,441	Don't forget a calendar of atrocities committed by clergymen! That would be a bestseller in no time!

02-14-2002, 07:10 AM	#18
alek0 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Hong Kong Posts: 640	Hey, just don't forget to quote Ezekiel. In my experience, Ezekiel is the best thing to make bible thumpers shut up Poor things get so entirely shocked at the mention of donkey's big penises, one would think they didn't read their bible. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Ezekiel 23:20 You can also add his lovely diet Ezekiel 4:15 Considering what he ate, no wonder he had visions. Finally, as Voltaire said "Who beleives in Ezekiel, deserves to dine with him". BTW, you can also market that calendar as an aid for bulimics, lots of stuff in the bible should work great for inducing vomitting.

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