Freethought & Rationalism Archive

TomboyMom · 07-24-2003, 09:15 AM

This is a contest! The question is, which religion currently practiced in the world do you nominate as the whackiest, and why?

I'll start off by nominating Mormonism, aka Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints Come Marching In.

What about the Mormons makes them the whackiest?

Mormonism was founded by an uneducated treasure seeker, Joseph Smith. who claimed that an angel with the delightfully ethnic sounding name of "Moroni" appeared to him and told him where to dig up some golden tablets. He did, and found the golden tablets with writing in an unknown Egyptian dialect. Although he did not know the language, he was able to translate them with the aid of some sacred glasses called Urim and Thummim. (As Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up.) He also looked at a rock inside his hat. He produced the translation, "The Book of Mormon" and then the angel took the tablets back, so you can't see them yourself. There is also no record or dictionary of the "Reformed Egyptian" language.

The Book of Mormon explains that American Indians are descended from 3 groups of ancient Hebrews. They had some wars and the bad Hebrews won. Their descendants are the Indians that Europeans met when they came to America.

Mormonism also holds that God was once a man who became God, and that men can become Gods by fulfilling all the requirements of Mormonism. Also God has a wife. God and his wife are up in heaven making spirit babies, who are sort of inserted into actual babies when they are born.

Among MANY other things, Mormon men learn (not making this up) special handshakes (ROFL) to offer God so they can get into the highest level of heaven after they die. Also passwords. There are three levels of heaven, and almost everybody gets into one of them eventually. If you get to the highest level, you become a God and get to go rule a planet of your own.

Well, those are just a few highlights. Can you beat that?

Rene

Sarpedon · 07-24-2003, 10:10 AM

Hard to beat. Maybe whatever cult it is that the notorious Veerapan is part of. He killed a forest ranger and uses his skull as a sacrificial vessel in rites to the forest goddess. Unfortunately, I don't know that much about it.

What about the Moonies? I don't know that much about them, but they seem pretty odd to me.

Or how about the Quiche people (Key-chay, not quiche) of Mexico, who practice the ancient religion of the mayans. Have you ever read the Popul Vuh, their holy book? The most hilarious myths ever. "Then from the sky came a god called "Gouger of Eyes;" he gouged out their eyes." "And then their tortilla griddles crushed their faces." "and there is also Jaguar house; the jaguar filled home of jaguars. With jaguars alone on the inside." "This ball of theirs is really a spherical knife." "and there is 'One-Legged Owl. He has only one leg. He has wings." and other amusing quotes.

Or the snake handlers. A christian cult in the southern appalacians who take the mistranslation of the King James version literally. Where it should have said "you shall destroy the serpents," it was misrendered as "you shall take up the serpents." Their worship involves picking up poisonous snakes, and very frequently getting bitten.

Mageth · 07-24-2003, 10:12 AM

Scientology. Created by L. Ron Hubbard on a whim, just to see if he could to it, and still it tends to attract what would otherwise seem to be highly intelligent people.

JaeIsGod · 07-24-2003, 10:33 AM

Wow , shit , those mormons are seriously screwed. Am I glad that I live in europe =]

I vote for them without any second thought.

TomboyMom · 07-24-2003, 10:45 AM

I have to admit, if this quote

Quote:

The final (secret) stage of belief asserts that in fact people are composed of clusters of thetans that are the spirits of dead space aliens, who were brought to earth 75 million years ago by an evil intergalactic tyrant named Xenu (or Xemu), and who were killed with hydrogen bombs in volcanos by him. These spirits were captured afterwards by Xenu on electronic ribbons, and were given implants (a form of engram) that kept them from remembering any of this. Since each of these thetans has a reactive mind, auditing must be performed on all of the millions or billions of these to get them to "blow" (be exorcised), at which point the primary (or operating) thetan controlling the body will realize his godhead, with power over matter, energy, space, and time (MEST), including the power to create galaxies and life.

from this site: http://pw2.netcom.com/~seekon/summaryframe.html?FACTNet
is correct, I think Scientology is ahead in this contest. Also Xenu is a sillier name than Moroni. Any other entries?

JaeIsGod · 07-24-2003, 11:36 AM

uuh , please tell me that quote is a joke...

Mageth · 07-24-2003, 11:43 AM

I'm afraid NOTs.

And here's more.

Scientology takes the cake, IMO.

TomboyMom · 07-24-2003, 12:02 PM

I concede that so far Scientology has surpassed Mormonism as having the densest proportion of sheer bullshit per dogma. However, just for fun, can anyone nominate another wild and crazy religion?

Rene

JaeIsGod · 07-24-2003, 12:20 PM

In that case I'll change my vote to scientology.Though I expect that people here will suprise me with ever stranger stuff...

Deadbeat · 07-24-2003, 12:29 PM

Well, you can't really get much weirder than the Raelians. Kinda like Scientology, but not as sinister. They're just plain goofy. And really, really, ... open about sexual matters.

http://www.rael.org/english/index.html

Any religion started by a French sports reporter has gotta be a frontrunner for the maximum oddness quotient... after all, they just had a NAKED demonstration in FAVOUR of genetically modified food.

By the way, if the Mormons had actually named the religion after the angel, wouldn't it be known as Moronism?

07-24-2003, 09:15 AM	#1
TomboyMom Contributor Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 10,931	Those wacky religionists! (contest) This is a contest! The question is, which religion currently practiced in the world do you nominate as the whackiest, and why? I'll start off by nominating Mormonism, aka Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints Come Marching In. What about the Mormons makes them the whackiest? Mormonism was founded by an uneducated treasure seeker, Joseph Smith. who claimed that an angel with the delightfully ethnic sounding name of "Moroni" appeared to him and told him where to dig up some golden tablets. He did, and found the golden tablets with writing in an unknown Egyptian dialect. Although he did not know the language, he was able to translate them with the aid of some sacred glasses called Urim and Thummim. (As Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up.) He also looked at a rock inside his hat. He produced the translation, "The Book of Mormon" and then the angel took the tablets back, so you can't see them yourself. There is also no record or dictionary of the "Reformed Egyptian" language. The Book of Mormon explains that American Indians are descended from 3 groups of ancient Hebrews. They had some wars and the bad Hebrews won. Their descendants are the Indians that Europeans met when they came to America. Mormonism also holds that God was once a man who became God, and that men can become Gods by fulfilling all the requirements of Mormonism. Also God has a wife. God and his wife are up in heaven making spirit babies, who are sort of inserted into actual babies when they are born. Among MANY other things, Mormon men learn (not making this up) special handshakes (ROFL) to offer God so they can get into the highest level of heaven after they die. Also passwords. There are three levels of heaven, and almost everybody gets into one of them eventually. If you get to the highest level, you become a God and get to go rule a planet of your own. Well, those are just a few highlights. Can you beat that? Rene

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07-24-2003, 10:10 AM	#2
Sarpedon Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Minnesota, the least controversial state in the le Posts: 8,446	Hard to beat. Maybe whatever cult it is that the notorious Veerapan is part of. He killed a forest ranger and uses his skull as a sacrificial vessel in rites to the forest goddess. Unfortunately, I don't know that much about it. What about the Moonies? I don't know that much about them, but they seem pretty odd to me. Or how about the Quiche people (Key-chay, not quiche) of Mexico, who practice the ancient religion of the mayans. Have you ever read the Popul Vuh, their holy book? The most hilarious myths ever. "Then from the sky came a god called "Gouger of Eyes;" he gouged out their eyes." "And then their tortilla griddles crushed their faces." "and there is also Jaguar house; the jaguar filled home of jaguars. With jaguars alone on the inside." "This ball of theirs is really a spherical knife." "and there is 'One-Legged Owl. He has only one leg. He has wings." and other amusing quotes. Or the snake handlers. A christian cult in the southern appalacians who take the mistranslation of the King James version literally. Where it should have said "you shall destroy the serpents," it was misrendered as "you shall take up the serpents." Their worship involves picking up poisonous snakes, and very frequently getting bitten.

07-24-2003, 10:12 AM	#3
Mageth Contributor Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Deep in the heart of mother-lovin' Texas Posts: 29,689	Scientology. Created by L. Ron Hubbard on a whim, just to see if he could to it, and still it tends to attract what would otherwise seem to be highly intelligent people.

07-24-2003, 10:33 AM	#4
JaeIsGod Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Netherlands Posts: 760	Wow , shit , those mormons are seriously screwed. Am I glad that I live in europe =] I vote for them without any second thought.

07-24-2003, 11:36 AM	#6
JaeIsGod Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Netherlands Posts: 760	uuh , please tell me that quote is a joke...

07-24-2003, 11:43 AM	#7
Mageth Contributor Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Deep in the heart of mother-lovin' Texas Posts: 29,689	I'm afraid NOTs. And here's more. Scientology takes the cake, IMO.

07-24-2003, 12:02 PM	#8
TomboyMom Contributor Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 10,931	I concede that so far Scientology has surpassed Mormonism as having the densest proportion of sheer bullshit per dogma. However, just for fun, can anyone nominate another wild and crazy religion? Rene

07-24-2003, 12:20 PM	#9
JaeIsGod Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Netherlands Posts: 760	In that case I'll change my vote to scientology.Though I expect that people here will suprise me with ever stranger stuff...

07-24-2003, 12:29 PM	#10
Deadbeat Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 1,238	Well, you can't really get much weirder than the Raelians. Kinda like Scientology, but not as sinister. They're just plain goofy. And really, really, ... open about sexual matters. http://www.rael.org/english/index.html Any religion started by a French sports reporter has gotta be a frontrunner for the maximum oddness quotient... after all, they just had a NAKED demonstration in FAVOUR of genetically modified food. By the way, if the Mormons had actually named the religion after the angel, wouldn't it be known as Moronism?

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