Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Valentine Pontifex · 02-13-2003, 05:57 PM

Okay it might be the Handyman's Secret Weapon, but I am a bit skeptical about having duct tape at home will save us from a terrorist attack.

Any opinions?

sensate · 02-13-2003, 06:10 PM

Duct and cover!

BrotherMan · 02-13-2003, 06:36 PM

So you can play "Duct, Duct, Goose"?

Zadok001 · 02-13-2003, 07:03 PM

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through the proper application of duct tape and high explosives.

Writer@Large · 02-13-2003, 07:52 PM

When terrorists strike, the first thing the average Joe (or Joanne) sacrifices are the creature comforts, like bikini waxes. Duct tape assures us that our women will never have unsightly hair sticking out of their thongs, even in the midst of national emergencies.

--W@L

Jimmy Higgins · 02-13-2003, 08:44 PM

Man only if I knew about this earlier! (Jimmy Higgins pondering why he put all his money into masking tape stocks and not duct tape stocks).

I don't know. It seems to work well for NASCAR. I've seen cars that were held together with nothing more than duct tape. If you can finish the Daytona 500, terrorist target, though we've had people die there without terrorists (man was that only a year ago?), with duct tape, then its good enough for me. I'm wrapping myself and my kitty in it. We'll be safe here in Northeast Ohio because of it.

And remember, in case of a dirty bomb attack, quack and cover! And then give your unholy support to the guy who's continually putting our nation in danger. (Jimmy Higgins pondering a move to Canada. No one would ever attack Canada, well except for French Separtists, that'd be my luck...)

Maybe the children of the US should mail $1 each to Iraq like Afghanistan. That went well. They love us there now.

Chicken Girl · 02-13-2003, 08:52 PM

If it moves, and it isn't supposed to, you need duct tape.

If it doesn't move, and it is supposed to, you need WD-40.

Shadowy Man · 02-13-2003, 09:09 PM

If duct tape can't save you from a terrorist attack, nothing will!!

Puck · 02-14-2003, 04:15 PM

And they now make duct tape in camoflauge. You not only will be safe, you can hide from the terrorists. Ah, better living through modern duct tape.

Shpongle · 02-15-2003, 09:40 AM

As Red Green has proven, duct tape can do just about anything.

02-13-2003, 05:57 PM	#1
Valentine Pontifex Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Orion Arm of the Milky Way Galaxy Posts: 3,092	Duct Tape Okay it might be the Handyman's Secret Weapon, but I am a bit skeptical about having duct tape at home will save us from a terrorist attack. Any opinions?

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02-13-2003, 06:10 PM	#2
sensate Regular Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: midwest Posts: 438	Duct and cover!

02-13-2003, 06:36 PM	#3
BrotherMan Regular Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: City of Dis Posts: 496	So you can play "Duct, Duct, Goose"?

02-13-2003, 07:03 PM	#4
Zadok001 Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Two Steps Ahead Posts: 1,124	There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through the proper application of duct tape and high explosives.

02-13-2003, 07:52 PM	#5
Writer@Large Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 7,198	When terrorists strike, the first thing the average Joe (or Joanne) sacrifices are the creature comforts, like bikini waxes. Duct tape assures us that our women will never have unsightly hair sticking out of their thongs, even in the midst of national emergencies. --W@L

02-13-2003, 08:44 PM	#6
Jimmy Higgins Contributor Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Proud Citizen of Freedonia Posts: 42,473	Man only if I knew about this earlier! (Jimmy Higgins pondering why he put all his money into masking tape stocks and not duct tape stocks). I don't know. It seems to work well for NASCAR. I've seen cars that were held together with nothing more than duct tape. If you can finish the Daytona 500, terrorist target, though we've had people die there without terrorists (man was that only a year ago?), with duct tape, then its good enough for me. I'm wrapping myself and my kitty in it. We'll be safe here in Northeast Ohio because of it. And remember, in case of a dirty bomb attack, quack and cover! And then give your unholy support to the guy who's continually putting our nation in danger. (Jimmy Higgins pondering a move to Canada. No one would ever attack Canada, well except for French Separtists, that'd be my luck...) Maybe the children of the US should mail $1 each to Iraq like Afghanistan. That went well. They love us there now.

02-13-2003, 08:52 PM	#7
Chicken Girl Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: nowhere Posts: 6,549	If it moves, and it isn't supposed to, you need duct tape. If it doesn't move, and it is supposed to, you need WD-40.

02-13-2003, 09:09 PM	#8
Shadowy Man Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: A Shadowy Planet Posts: 7,585	If duct tape can't save you from a terrorist attack, nothing will!!

02-14-2003, 04:15 PM	#9
Puck Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: A middle aged body. Posts: 3,459	And they now make duct tape in camoflauge. You not only will be safe, you can hide from the terrorists. Ah, better living through modern duct tape.

02-15-2003, 09:40 AM	#10
Shpongle Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Frozen North Posts: 9,920	As Red Green has proven, duct tape can do just about anything.

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