Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Mageth · 05-06-2003, 11:34 AM

It was a joke, we will probably not have anuses, why would we need them? We will supercede the need for food or sexual pleasure, therefore we won't need anuses or genitals.

Oh, great, we'll be Barbies and Kens. But Barbie won't need breasts, either, I suppose. So flat Barbies. Nor will she need a uterus, those nice childbearing hips, etc.

The list of things we won't need could be extended quite a bit further, I suppose. Stomachs, intestines, lungs (probably won't need to breathe, if we don't need to eat), heart (not much need for blood if there's no food or oxygen to deliver), teeth (don't need to chew that non-existent food).

So what exactly will we need in heaven? Will we be stick figures or some sort of androgynous, featureless, pseudohuman?

hezekiah jones · 05-06-2003, 11:37 AM

Originally posted by Mageth
So what exactly will we need in heaven?

My, my, aren't *we* presumptuous!

*You* will need an air conditioner, heathen.

yguy · 05-06-2003, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by hezekiah jones
Originally posted by yguy
If Jesus can be tricked by idle boasting, then snowflakes can dreamily sip at pina coladas while lounging at a poolside on the surface of the sun.

Then what the hell is Paul jabbering about in Ephesians? Was he just getting off on the ergot when he wrote that?

It is a warning against self-deceptive boasting.

Mageth · 05-06-2003, 11:39 AM

My, my, aren't *we* presumptuous!

*You* will need an air conditioner, heathen.

Aargh! You're right. And an Asbestos suit would be nice.

hezekiah jones · 05-06-2003, 11:43 AM

Originally posted by yguy
It is a warning against self-deceptive boasting.

Not bad, not bad at all. But how do you know that's what he meant?

AJ113 · 05-06-2003, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Badfish
If your anus causes you displeasure then you will not retain you anus.

All former things are wiped away, there is no more pain or suffering at all, it is euphoria (paradise).

Ok, let me see if I've got this right:

In Heaven I get my anus wiped by God, and this will make me euphorious?

hezekiah jones · 05-06-2003, 11:50 AM

LOL

yguy · 05-06-2003, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by hezekiah jones
Originally posted by yguy
It is a warning against self-deceptive boasting.

Not bad, not bad at all. But how do you know that's what he meant?

Seems common-sensical to me; so I'll stick with it until somebody shows me why I'm wrong.

Badfish · 05-06-2003, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hezekiah jones
Originally posted by Badfish
It was a joke, we will probably not have anuses, why would we need them? We will supercede the need for food or sexual pleasure, therefore we won't need anuses or genitals.

Then why does God need genitals?

Who said he has genitals?

I will try to answer everyones post, but I gotta go, unfortunately I am highly outnumbered, and cannot respond fast enough....

hezekiah jones · 05-06-2003, 12:03 PM

Originally posted by yguy
Seems common-sensical to me ...

Yes it does. So maybe Paul is right. You can sit on the couch watching The Bachelor, stuffing yourself with Usinger's bratwurst and Pabst Blue Ribbon, while your neighbor's house burns down, your mother is calling because she's about to get raped but you're too lazy to answer the phone, and your one-year-old daughter is in the next room getting strangled by the venetian blinds cord, yet you don't lift a finger to help, and when your grease-clogged arteries finally give out, *poof*, there you are with Jesus simply because you "believed on Him." And all because you may have felt a twinge of pride within yourself for actually having done something to prevent these things.

And they call this a "religion"?

05-06-2003, 11:43 AM	#35
hezekiah jones Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: WI Posts: 4,357	Re: Re: Can Jesus kick you out of Heaven? Originally posted by yguy It is a warning against self-deceptive boasting. Not bad, not bad at all. But how do you know that's what he meant?

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05-06-2003, 11:34 AM	#31
Mageth Contributor Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Deep in the heart of mother-lovin' Texas Posts: 29,689	It was a joke, we will probably not have anuses, why would we need them? We will supercede the need for food or sexual pleasure, therefore we won't need anuses or genitals. Oh, great, we'll be Barbies and Kens. But Barbie won't need breasts, either, I suppose. So flat Barbies. Nor will she need a uterus, those nice childbearing hips, etc. The list of things we won't need could be extended quite a bit further, I suppose. Stomachs, intestines, lungs (probably won't need to breathe, if we don't need to eat), heart (not much need for blood if there's no food or oxygen to deliver), teeth (don't need to chew that non-existent food). So what exactly will we need in heaven? Will we be stick figures or some sort of androgynous, featureless, pseudohuman?

05-06-2003, 11:37 AM	#32
hezekiah jones Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: WI Posts: 4,357	Originally posted by Mageth *So what exactly will* we need in heaven?** My, my, aren't we presumptuous! You will need an air conditioner, heathen.

05-06-2003, 11:39 AM	#34
Mageth Contributor Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Deep in the heart of mother-lovin' Texas Posts: 29,689	My, my, aren't we presumptuous! You will need an air conditioner, heathen. Aargh! You're right. And an Asbestos suit would be nice.

05-06-2003, 11:50 AM	#37
hezekiah jones Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: WI Posts: 4,357	LOL

05-06-2003, 12:03 PM	#40
hezekiah jones Veteran Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: WI Posts: 4,357	Originally posted by yguy Seems common-sensical to me ... Yes it does. So maybe Paul is right. You can sit on the couch watching The Bachelor, stuffing yourself with Usinger's bratwurst and Pabst Blue Ribbon, while your neighbor's house burns down, your mother is calling because she's about to get raped but you're too lazy to answer the phone, and your one-year-old daughter is in the next room getting strangled by the venetian blinds cord, yet you don't lift a finger to help, and when your grease-clogged arteries finally give out, poof, there you are with Jesus simply because you "believed on Him." And all because you may have felt a twinge of pride within yourself for actually having done something to prevent these things. And they call this a "religion"?

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