Grumpy

You know how it can be terribly lonely, being a Christian in this big, dark world. You never hear anything about the Lord in the media. There are times when you think, "I must be the only one."

Now there's hope! Thanks to God's blessing of the Internet, there's a new way to reach out to your fellow Christians, to forge the bonds that hold our secret society together:

<a href="http://www.peoplejustlikeus.org/" target="_blank">People Just Like Us</a>! Yes, at this site, you'll learn about people just like you -- and me! People like Grand Funk Railroad's <a href="http://www.peoplejustlikeus.org/Music/Mark_Farner.html" target="_blank">Mark Farner</a>, NASCAR all-star <a href="http://www.peoplejustlikeus.org/Sports/darrell_waltrip.htm" target="_blank">Darrell Waltrip</a>, and the inimitable <a href="http://www.peoplejustlikeus.org/Tv_and_Movies/Mr._T.html" target="_blank">Mr. T</a>.

Yes, those godless heathens have their <a href="http://www.celebatheists.com/" target="_blank">A-list celebrities</a> -- "A" for atheist! -- but now you can be assured that the ranks of well-off bigshots include many of your brothers & sisters in Christ. Living in the light of Jesus is a heavy cross to bear, but it's not one you have to bear alone; <a href="http://www.peoplejustlikeus.org/Tv_and_Movies/Mickey_Rooney.html" target="_blank">Mickey Rooney</a> can help.

sakrilege

How's this for a role model...