Talulah

I was thinking yesterday about being a fundamentalist child.

I was taught that everything outside our group was misguided at best if they considered themselves religious, depraved and evil if possessing no religion. 'The world,' was an vague, ominous sounding title that was used to denouce almost anything they didn't believe in. 'Secular' was a common word to me in elementary school.

I don't remember a particular point in my childhood that stands out as the moment when I knew I wasn't a carefree ignorant child anymore but a child/person who was expected to be deeply religious and bring others to a knowledge of the truth. My peers became less friends to play with and more to be distrusted and looked askance on because they were 'in the world,' not baptized like I was and possessing the truth.

I am the oldest child of my parents and I remember enough to know that they steadily got more and more religiously fervent over the years. When I was a small child, they went the obligatory 3 times a week to services, carried us faithfully to bible school and religious camps during the summer, and contributed to the church. They never 'fell away' but they also never talked about religion at home that I can remember and never read their bibles at home or any of that. Most of what I remember of that time is my Father mad most the time and my mother crying the rest of the time. I believed for a long time as a child that even my duty-bound parents fell short of the mark for heaven and wondering bewildered, who would be there. By the time I was in middle school, they started to get more fanatic. I couldn't go to dances, participate in mixed swimming, etc. In short, the older I got, the more it was expected that I be different.

I am not trying to whine about how I 'missed out' on things. The point I am trying to make is about how the Christian fundamentalist child is sent out like a little missionairy into the public school system, and right at the time he/she needs the acceptance of his/her peers the MOST, the church starts pounding into their head about how they are different and placing restrictions on what they can do. Things that necessarily set them apart from their secular peers and help to ensure that they only feel a sense of community in their church and will feel uncomfortable among the 'world.'

While I am harping and ranting, I would like to touch on another subject: the Christian persecuation complex.

How many here remember having it said, subtly or blantantly to them as a pre-teen/teenager, that if no one at school hated you because you were a Christian, then you weren't a real Christian, because people would hate and persecute you for your beliefs?

I remember having that exact thing said to me as a part of a group of young teenagers. That ties into my anger at being made to be different, because I was also being told that I had a duty to go out and make enemies for Christ.

*sigh*

I guess I am done venting now.

Wyz_sub10

That's pretty rough. I was raised RC and went to an RC school until I went off to universty, so perhaps it wasn't the same for me. I do remember, however, the issue of being scorned and mocked as sort of a blessing - "and if wicked men insult and hate you all because of me, blessed are you." I sang those lines in a choir more times than I can recall in my RC days.

Amos

In the end, Telulah, just be glad you have arrived where you are today and I wish to acknowledge this.

I was born and raised in Catholic country where the pasture was soo large that the sheep were allowed to play because with no protestant church in sight they could not get lost. And play we did till our hearts' content and so I am here now telling you this because I have arrived at the same place you did.

If you find any consolence in this please be reminded that we are all like "a lone goose flying in the mist and that our destiny is not circumvented by the mist."

Be well and take care.

Bree

This place reserved for future comment.

frostymama

I remember all too well. My parents took it a step farther though. Good Christians would be martyred. I can remember being 11 years old and having my parents describe in gory detail how we would all die. I didn't even think I would graduate highschool before I was killed by the government for being a Xian.

Yep, being a child to fundy extremist parents sucks the big one, but life goes on. The biggest problem for me is that the still believe this stuff and put a lot of pressure on me to be like them. As long as I don't dwell on it and keep my distance I am fine. Heck, if my childhood hadn't been the way it was I may never have married my husband and had my son.

I am a good person and I am happy. That is all that really matters.

Godless Dave

Would you believe I only heard the term "mixed swimming" a few months ago? Before I found this forum I thought that some fundamentalists had a problem with dancing 50 years ago or so. It never occured to me that there would be Americans in this day and age who objected to dancing. And I never would have dreamed that anyone outside of the middle east would be opposed to mixed swimming. These people are whacked out.

diana

Wow, frostymama! That certainly puts my childhood in perspective. Holy toledo.

My parents remained fervently religious my entire life. When I was very young, they (along with two other families) split from the congregation they'd been attending due to doctrinal differences and began their own "congregation," an action that bespeaks passionate religious belief.

I remember being expected to "be not of the world" so much that I'd feel guilty if I agreed with my peers on almost anything. On the rare occasion I did agree with them, my mother would say, with obvious distaste, "You always were easily influenced by the crowd," or something similar which managed to suggest that I had no backbone and was incapable of thinking for myself.

Interesting thoughts on the persecution complex: if you convince your followers that they should be persecuted for you, then they'll do two things: interpret any rejection of them or their behavior as your rejection of Xst (confirmation bias) and step up their prosthelyzing if no persecution is forthcoming in an effort to provoke it. Seems to me, anyhow.

d

diana

Yes...essentially, anything you do that might entice a member of the opposite sex to think something he/she shouldn't is forbidden, because they believe you will be held accountable for everyone you've ever influenced in your life, directly or indirectly. Hence, I was forbidden to wear shorts, tight clothes of any sort, excessive makeup, go in mixed swimming, or dance. I was even forbidden to square dance in grade school, believe it or not.

I asked my mother if I could go swimming if I dressed modestly, and my mother said No with two reasons: (1) if you dress modestly enough you won't have the freedom of movement necessary to swim, anyway, and (2) even if you could manage number 1, everyone around you would be dressed indecently, anyway, and you don't want to be where you can look at practically naked people.

A lot she knew. Nothing makes me want to engage in any activity quite like being forbidden to do it.

Side note: All of these rules are based on the assumption that nakedness and tight clothing elicits ungodly urges in others. While that assumption is accurate for some, it isn't for all. I personally am far more erotically affected by modest dress than revealing clothing (or none at all). Nakedness doesn't trigger my imagination like modest attire does.

d

[ September 04, 2002: Message edited by: diana ]</p>

Bible Humper

Hey, I like that, Amos.

What country did you come from, Amos? My guess is somewhere in South America, the way you describe a huge catholic pasture with no protestantism around. Though of course these days there is.

Queen of Swords

Originally posted by diana:
<strong>
I personally am far more erotically affected by modest dress than revealing clothing (or none at all). Nakedness doesn't trigger my imagination like modest attire does.</strong>

Hear hear!

I find men incredibly sexy when they're dressed in three-piece suits, or even a blazer and slacks. Then I can imagine myself slowly peeling it all off.