agapeo

I can see your point Starboy but in comparison don't you think that Tricia's parents may feel the same as you? To them what she is going through may be an indication of a mental disorder.

Understand, I'm not trying to justify her parent's reaction but it seems to me that they are reacting no differently than you seem to imply you would.

scrumpy

I have a 15 year old and he and I have discussed this. He is an atheist, but we've had a few conversations (initiated by me) on what it would mean to our relationship if he became religious (any religion). Because I tend to be a somewhat outspoken atheist in RL, I wanted him to know that if he chose religious belief my love and respect for him wouldn't change (I want him to draw his own conclusions without feeling constrained by mine). We talked about how I would be disappointed, but that it would be no different than his disappointment in my remaining atheist and that my disappointment would not affect the way I felt about him or treated him and that, eventually, as I got used to the idea of his new beliefs, my disappointment would evaporate. I would expect that, belief or no, he would remain the kind-hearted, honest person that he is and that these qualities are more important to me than anything else.

I have often wondered if religious parents have this type of conversations with their believing children?

agapeo

Yes, scrumpy. As a theist I had the exact same sort of conversation with my Son and I feel like you do. Except in my case it wasn't just hypothetical conversation. We eventually had a conversation in which he told me that he doesn't believe in God anymore.

[ September 01, 2002: Message edited by: agapeo ]</p>

MadMordigan

What would you do if your teenager became a Christian?

I'd ask a very simple question:

Which one was yer mom?

agapeo

To which he/she might reply: "I wondered about that myself."

NOGO

You are lucky.
My parents did not do that but I managed by myself.

I would teach my children to base their beliefs on evidence.
I would teach my children to question everything, even the things that most dear to them.
I would would teach my children about myths. Why people invent them and their purpose in our society.
I would teach my children about the religions of the world and compare them. (mythologies = dead religions)
I would teach my children about mind control, guilt, and how people try to influence you.
I would teach my children about freedom and how not to relinquish their freedom to any preacher or organization.

After all that what if they still decide to become Christians?

My father was a devout Christian and my mother still is. So what! Life goes on.

agapeo

Well, even the brightest atheists have been known to become Christians. Shit happens!

god-free-pen

I would not "force" my child to see a psychiatrist but I would discuss with them the necessity of examining the thought processes necessary to arrive at a belief in "god", and hopefully they would welcome the idea.

After all how could a mentally healthy person voluntarily espouse the most destructive force in the world today...belief in a god?...a force that I believe will eventually destroy mankind and the animal world.

How else would you explain a belief one can "live forever" after committing the most heinous acts if only they get down on their knees and grovel to a non-existent being, or all the other nonsense, buying off sins with "indulgences", saints, miracles, holy water, etc.



As Starboy posted above:

"It is time for it (Christianity) to go away, along with all the aggressive religions of the world that will not allow us to live in peace on the planet."

I add: 2000 years is enough.

HelenM

I do think many religious parents do work hard at telling their children they will still love them no matter what.

But I doubt they could say that their disappointment would ever go away, that their child has decided not to honor and serve the LORD. Especially given that that rejection probably means (based on their beliefs) that their child whom they love, will be eternally separated from them, rather than being with them in heaven.

I don't see how a Christian parent could stop being sorrowful over that, even if they do understand it's their child's own decision to make.

Tricia in one of her posts here wrote that her Dad said to her, when she admitted to her current lack of faith: "I'll miss you for all eternity" although he later apologized for saying it.

So it's not quite the same with Christian parents, because of their beliefs.

FWIW I do think that there can be a lot of expectations on children growing up in very religious households and this probably can make the children feel that their parent's love is conditioned on their keeping a long list of rules, which I think is a shame. Especially if the children are right about that )

love
Helen

HelenM

I hope I would respect that as their decision to make.

I'd say my focus is on raising them to be wise, to think for themselves and to make good choices. If that means they think atheism is a good choice, well, so be it...

love
Helen