HelenM

The thread about Tricia in RRP has made me wonder what atheist parents would do if their 15 or 16 year old daughter came home one day and said "Mom! Dad! I've just become a Christian!"

(I thought I should make this a thread of its own, though, rather than hijack that one )

Although, maybe that outcome is impossible to envisage...

But suppose 'the worst' (from your point of view) happened. I wonder what the parents would do? There's probably not one answer. I wonder if any atheist parents would put their foot down and say "You can't be with those wacko Christians any more!" in an attempt to remove influence on their child which they find very objectionable.

Or whether all atheist parents would simply sigh and say "you're crazy...but, it's up to you..."

What do you think, those of you who could believe this could ever happen to atheist parents? What would the parents do?

love
Helen

bonduca

I'm not a parent, so it's hypothetical.

I wouldn't be pleased. But I certainly wouldn't browbeat them. I'd want to discuss it, and we'd need to set some ground rules to ensure mutual respect for our beliefs. Any hypothetical offspring of mine would likely be too stubborn to respond well to being shouting at or insulted, and I remember how little result it got when I received similar treatment from my Christian relatives.

And I'd keep discussing it with them, so we could continue to understand each other (or at least make up quickly after we have an argument, which we would likely have several of).

I'd also see my actual dentist about a mouth guard, to keep me from grinding my teeth at night over my hypothetical teenager.

sighhswolf

Both my kids were raised as Mormons, even though
I do not agree with the choices they have made in their lives, it is after all THEIR lives.
If you love your kids, then you must not stand in judgement of their choices and build a barrier between you , you can only give them support and let them make their own decisions.
It is a very tough thing to resist the urge to "preach" to them and by your experiences hope to save them from the mistakes that you as a parent have made in your own life.
You must provide an atmosphere of understanding and trust and hope they make the right choices.
But if they dont, and if they are unhappy, you must be there for them to provide the love and support they need to face the consequences of their actions.
They are not us.........they are not just younger clones of ourselves, and to view them in that
way will only lead to alienation and seperation.

Thats my take anyway.
Wolf

bonduca

Wolf:

<img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" />

Starboy

I have two daughters both in their twenties. Their mother is a Christian. Both have been to church and bible study many times. Both reject Christianity. If you are an atheist and your children become Christians, it is because you have not educated them, you have not passed your values onto your children. Once you see Christianity for the fraud it is, it is hard to see how anyone could become a Christian or remain a Christian.

Starboy

agapeo

bonduca says:
But would you be the initiator of the discussions or only discuss it when approached?

agapeo

I agree with your comments Wolf but . . . Is it axiomatic that the choices will result in consequences? Could they not also result in happiness? But I could see how they might be unhappy with their choices and we as parents should be there for support. But what kind of support?

[ August 31, 2002: Message edited by: agapeo ]</p>

agapeo

Oh, I disagree. You can raise your children with the best education you know how to provide and it can still be rejected. That's not necessarily a reflection on your inability to provide direction but, we all have to come to the place in our lives when we make up our own minds and choose what best works for us.
That's a two-way street.

bonduca

both, I think. Otherwise what would be the point? Sitting around on some throne waiting to be approached is a sucky excuse for communication.

[ August 31, 2002: Message edited by: bonduca ]</p>

HelenM

I think this is something that has to be decided by the individual parent, who knows their child and whether initiating a discussion is likely to work or not.

I wouldn't want to attempt to say what would work for another parent and child. I hope that if/when if I have sensitive issues to discuss with my children I can be wise about when to bring up the subject and when it's best not to say anything unless/until they do.

Edited to add: I'm thinking of something ongoing which is a sensitive issue, rather than some new issue. If it's new and/or has never never been discussed I hope I'd dare raise it. But once it's been discussed then I could envisage a situation where I'd like to say more but I know that if I did, it would be counter-productive.

love
Helen

[ August 31, 2002: Message edited by: HelenM ]</p>