diana

From a BB I lurk on:

Posted 21 Jun 02:
On 24 Jun 02, she posted:
On 21 Aug 02, she posted:
I find the irony here overwhelming. It strikes me that, were I without religious belief and was married to someone who'd recently (overwhelmingly) rededicated her life to Jesus and had decided she was stupid like a sheep, my marriage would probably suffer as a direct result.

There's only so much Praise Jesus and I Am Not Worthy anybody can be expected to take.

This situation was summed up nicely in Steel Magnolias, where Daryl Hannah's character, who'd found Jesus after her recent marriage, opened the refrigerator and froze.

"What is this I see in my refrigerator?"

HUBBY: "Beer."

(She grabs it, marches to the edge of the porch, and ceremoniously pours it out.)

HIM: "Oh for Christ's sakes!"

HER (self-righteously offended): "Who's sakes?"

HIM: "Christ's. Christ. Christ. Christ. Christ."

HER: "I think we should pray." (kneels and folds hands)

HIM: "Awwwww. I'd rather eat dirt!" (storms out)

Of course, I don't have the whole story. Maybe this woman's husband is going through a mid-life crisis and this has nothing to do with her recent recommitment of her life to Christ.

But I wouldn't be surprised if her marriage problems, for which she's requesting God's help and the "prayers of the saints," is a direct result of God's direct involvement with her life.

d

Gurdur

"I come not to bring peace, but a sword"



And yes, I've seen a hell of a lot of that kind of destructive thing from religious faddishness and hysteria.

Bree

Christ is supposed to be #1 in your life - above everyone else, your husband/wife, your kids, your family, your job your...

And on and on and on.

How many people can stand to watch a loved one consistantly put an invisible sky faerie before those who are physically present here on Earth?

bonduca

I think this might be better placed in Misc. Religion...

Terracotta

Diana, I also noticed this irony in my lurking at that BB. I even copied-and-pasted this latest post of hers because I was feeling compelled to respond (gently and compassionately, of course). I was going to PM you about it, but here you are.

Incidentally, I discovered that I haven't been banned from this BB. I guess they forgot about me! Or maybe I didn't create enough of a stink.

I hate to presume anything about anyone's marriage, because she truly could be in a bad situation with her husband (cheating, alcohol problems, any number of things). However, if it's just that they have different views and approaches to life, she should know that there are many, many Christians who are happily married to unbelievers who somehow work it out without having the "seeking Jesus for help" as a spot of common ground.

She seems very intense and irrational in her beliefs. I can see how that would be quite irritating to a non-believing spouse.

Her erratic moods in posting make me wonder about her problem-solving abilities. I wonder if she understands that mutual respect for each other's views and feelings is paramount to a successful relationship. I hope she isn't harping on her husband about how he needs to come to Jesus and is instead seeking mutual understanding and tolerance.

Albion

It just goes to show how people can rationalise anything. During one of the endless "atheists have no morals" theads on another board, someone pointed out that the divorce rate among Christians was higher than among atheists. Back comes the glib answer that, well, of course Satan is going to torment Christians more than atheists, since he already owns the atheists.

If this person is just seeing Satan behind her problems and has a non-Christian spouse into the bargain, you can pretty much see where this is headed.

edited for typos - never did learn to type...

[ August 25, 2002: Message edited by: Albion ]</p>

Panta Pei

"How many people can stand to watch a loved one consistantly put an invisible sky faerie before those who are physically present here on Earth? "

Are you trying to get me started again?!

diana

Hi, Terracotta!

I lost a great deal of respect for that poster when I left that board. She used to correspond with me and treat me like a decent person, and even apologized for not stepping in on my behalf when The Wad started treating me badly. She seemed like a very honest and likeable person.

Then when they herded all the atheists into boxcars, she came forward and said, "Would all of you atheists just GO AWAY?" It was as though she wasn't the same person anymore, even, there was such an abrupt, drastic change.

Shortly thereafter, she had the "revelation" from Jesus that I posted above, and she's been what I'd classify as "off the deep end" ever since.

Incidentally, I discovered that I haven't been banned from this BB.



Oooh. One of the few, the proud...the inactive.

I hate to presume anything about anyone's marriage, because she truly could be in a bad situation with her husband (cheating, alcohol problems, any number of things).

True, but asking him to appeal to Jesus for help (which definitely sounds like the case to me) will only rub salt in the wounds. It sounds for all the world like Jesus is a part of her everyday life, and that's worse than living with an alcoholic (I speak from experience on both counts).

She seems very intense and irrational in her beliefs. I can see how that would be quite irritating to a non-believing spouse.

Exactly. Succinctly put (and with far more compassion than I've managed to).

You know...I used to like and respect her. I'm not so much laughing at her as I am disappointed in her because she once displayed a personal honesty and intelligence (while maintaining her belief) that I found very human and likable.

I'm also disgusted in general with the clutch religion has on some people and how blind they can be to people and what those people think and need when in the grip of religious fanaticism.

d

sighhswolf

Diana,
I am not at all surprised by the writer's problems at home with her husband.
An observation---she said she spoke to one of the "Elders" at the church.
She also refered to her "brothers and sisters" of the congregation.
She also makes reference to the "prayers of the Saints".

All of the above language is consistant with LDS
indoctrination.
Mormons refer to priesthood holders as "Elders".
Being the church of Latter Day Saints, the vernacular of "prayers of the Saints" would indicate that she is requesting the members (or the saints)to intercede on her behalf through prayer.
And finally all members address each other in the formal biblical way as "Brother so and so" and "Sister so and so".

All the above would indicate her involvment in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints...aka Mormons.
I may be way off base here but if that is the case and this woman has decided to get involved
in a large way, a solid commitment and her husband is not a member then the chances are that marriage is doomed and will never recover.

In fact in most instances where one family member is a active LDS and the other is not....it is most assuredly the case that the relationship will not survive.

The LDS D & C, Pearl of Great Price, and the Book of Mormon demand a certain extreme way of life and a total dedication to church life and socialization and this doctrine is reinforced by the use of constant peer pressure to conform.
It is almost impossible for a married couple to remain on very close terms when one is an active
Latter Day Saint and the other is not.
Even if the relationship remains tied loosely, the lines will be frayed badly.
It does not matter if one partner is LDS and the other is Presbyterian for example either, religion is not just "religion" for the LDS.

LDS doctrine is based on the belief that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the only true church representing gods kingdom and power re-established on this earth. They believe they have the only direct line to god, through the living prophet of the church.

The LDS priesthood considers itself to possess the powers of the priesthood bestowed upon them by god himself through the lineage of Melchizedek
who was a King of Salem in the time of Abraham.
The bible points to Melchizedek as an "eternal
and divine being" given powers straight from god.
This King is spoken of in biblical text as:
" (he) is without father, without mother, without
geneology; and has neither beginning of days, nor end of life, but resembling the son of god he continues a PRIEST FOREVER."
This comes from the book of Hebrews, and the above quote is supposedly gods words as he has given the power of the priesthood as a gift to king Melchizedek as reward for his unwavering belief and service to god.
I could go into a long drawn out explanation of the powers of the priesthood but it's not necessary here as I dont even know if I'm on the right track anyway.
She states that her letter was read in the service and that there was clapping from the members and she "wasnt sure that was allowed".
Her questioning here would indicate a new surrounding for her that she did not as yet fully
understand and was not sure of the acceptable conduct.

Mormon fast and testimony meetings are conducted by members, not by paid ministers, there are no paid clergy in the LDS organization at the stake level.
This relates in a way to the preaching
service that other denominations have after the traditional sunday school.
Members are given topics to present and talk about during this service, and the actual service is much less formalized than those of most other protestant faiths, which could explain her questioning the response from the members.

Of course I may be way off base here, but it "sounds" very familier to me and my experience living with a wife who was 4th generation Mormon from Utah for over 25 years of persecution.

There are two kinds of mormons, One is born into the fold and accepts it all without question, the other is a "convert" who based on my personal experience goes through a period of intense zeal
and is purposely kept surrounded by a group of peers in a contrived effort to keep them oblivious to all other activities outside of the church for an indefinite period.
It is an intense indoctrination and is accomplished through the "well wishes" of those of the converts age and social group.

Now even if the person in question is not LDS, that same type of assualt on the sensibilities of converts take place in other faiths as well.
So it is not unusual for the partner to feel left out......deserted....and alone.
Out of those feelings a resentment is born that usually gains strength with each mention of the church by the other partner, and the wedge is driven deeper and deeper between the two.

Alas, either both convert, or they end up resenting each other and the relationship dies a slow and terrible death in most cases.
It is the exception that one remains dedicated to the other after a religious epiphany not shared by both.

If I sound like I speak from authority here, I dont mean to.

I base my observations simply on personal experiences working with deconverted mormons.
I would think that in many ways the same problems would be created by any of the faiths in a single conversion.

And between us.....I find it very sad, very sad indeed.
Wolf

lpetrich

At least Jesus Christ was described as practicing what he had preached, being indifferent and disrespectful to his family. Some "family values".