Freethought & Rationalism Archive

punta · 07-03-2002, 12:12 AM

this is inspired by the God Not Dead Yet thread. part way through it Emotional Naturalist pointed out humanity ought to kill God in self-defense (hey God's wiped us out before).

gloryhole: "So if he/she did exist how would one go about killing him/her?
With all that omniscient, omnipresent, omnibenevelant stuff going for him/her. Would Kryptonite do the trick?
kind bud: "Seems to me that withholding the one thing that he wants would do the trick. Don't give him your soul. What if God threw a afterlife party, and no one came?"

Skepticwithachainsaw: "Nah, he's omnipresent, just start shooting randomly, you'll hit him..."

others have noted that if AIDS is God's retribution on the sinful his superpowers can be stopped by latex and rubber. could it be as easy as luring him out of hiding and smacking him on the head with a rubber mallet.

according to the bible he has a weakness for metal (at least metal chariots). could there be a reason he's hiding all the time? afraid? i vote we take the sucka out.

any other ideas that might work?

what about other gods?

Perchance · 07-03-2002, 06:56 AM

For Zeus:

Deny him sex. If there are no pretty girls to go after, or if all the pretty girls he goes after want to know all about his sexual history before they have sex with him, I think he would probably wither up and die out of sheer frustration.

For Artemis:

Arrange a whole group of people to see her bathing. She was so humilated when one man (Actaeon) saw her bathing that she turned him into a stag and had his own hounds rip him apart. Maybe a whole bunch of people looking at her naked would make her die in shame?

For Apollo:

Choose some random musician whom you think plays well. Start telling him that said musician plays better than he ever will.

For Yahweh:

STOP WORSHIPPING HIM! I think even more than souls he wants to be adored, praised, and feared by people shutting down their logical brains in favor of communing with him.

This is fun...

-Perchance.

Corwin · 07-03-2002, 09:32 AM

Well apparently God is powerless to stop chariots as long as they have iron wheels...

Personally I figure if God was going to come back he should have done it last century... before his creations figured out what to do with all that pitchblende he left lying around all over the place.....

'I AM GOD AND I HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!!!!! Ummm.... what's that big metal thing with the flames coming out of the back end of it? Why is it moving real fast in my general direction? And why does my SuperDuperGodVision(TM) show me that it's radioactive? Ummm... Jerry? Pat? Why are you running away from my divine glory?'

[ July 03, 2002: Message edited by: Corwin ]</p>

Ojuice5001 · 07-03-2002, 09:54 AM

Are you guys aware that according to the Religio Romana, the only people who go to hell are either hugely evil persons, and those who make war on the gods?You've already got Jehovah out to get you, do you really want add the Roman gods to the list? A smart, non-hubristic person would cleave to some of the gods, rather than trying to imitate Harry Turtledove's Between the Rivers. If I were a moderator, I would close this thread on sight. (One reason I will never be a moderator. <img src="graemlins/banghead.gif" border="0" alt="[Bang Head]" /> ) The Roman gods are good rulers--do you really want to leave the world in the hands of people like the President of the United States and the king of Saudi Arabia?

Perchance · 07-03-2002, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ojuice5001:
<strong>Are you guys aware that according to the Religio Romana, the only people who go to hell are either hugely evil persons, and those who make war on the gods?You've already got Jehovah out to get you, do you really want add the Roman gods to the list? A smart, non-hubristic person would cleave to some of the gods, rather than trying to imitate Harry Turtledove's Between the Rivers. If I were a moderator, I would close this thread on sight. (One reason I will never be a moderator. <img src="graemlins/banghead.gif" border="0" alt="[Bang Head]" /> ) The Roman gods are good rulers--do you really want to leave the world in the hands of people like the President of the United States and the king of Saudi Arabia?</strong>

Well:

I can't personally answer for other people here, but if I believed these gods existed, had the power to punish such things, and would punish such things, I wouldn't be joking about it. But I am agnostic about them, and live my life as if they don't exist. Therefore, it would seem that this doesn't really apply to me.

Besides, do you know for certain that the Roman gods are the ones ruling the destiny and fate of every human on the planet (instead of just those who choose to honor them?) It would seem as though (we're shutting up all the possible objections for the moment, and assuming gods exist) Yahweh would be responsible for his worshippers, Allah for his, Zeus (or Jove, I suppose) for his, Kali for hers, and on and on and on.

How can those who don't honor gods have their lives or afterlives ruled by them?

-Perchance.

Ojuice5001 · 07-03-2002, 10:11 AM

Well, because by their own admission atheists and agnostics don't honor any gods. If someone worships the Roman gods, the Roman gods will affect their lives. And part of this is protecting their worshippers from hostile divine forces like Jehovah. But if someone is an atheist, or even cares little for gods and religion, they are "up for grabs"; and any god--natural knowledge can never tell us which one--may end up ruling their life and afterlife. After all, at least some gods care about everything in the world, including the humans and warm-blooded animals that don't believe in the gods.

Mediancat · 07-03-2002, 10:13 AM

For details, you could always read Victor Koman's The Jehovah Contract, the story of a hit man who's being paid to kill god.

Favorite line, when the assassin in question is trying to, er, find god:

"LA please. I need the number of God almighty."

Rob aka Mediancat

Perchance · 07-03-2002, 10:15 AM

Well, all right then.

(Proceeding further along with what I consider a hypothetical argument)...

How can you be sure that, by posting joking messages on a message board, I am:

a) Offending the god(s) who care(s) about people with no religion.
b) Inspiring them to punish me.
c) Even offending the Roman gods whom I don't honor at all?

Besides, if I had to pick a god/dess after I was dead, it would be the IPU.

-Perchance.

SanDiegoAtheist · 07-03-2002, 10:18 AM

Oops, posted as a reply to the wrong thread...

San Diego Atheist

[ July 03, 2002: Message edited by: SanDiegoAtheist ]</p>

Ojuice5001 · 07-03-2002, 10:37 AM

Well, I don't know for sure. It just seems like common sense. Think of the movie The Birds. It scared people because birds outnumber us a thousand to one. Therefore, if birds ever banded together, they could do serious harm to humanity. Now, wouldn't you prefer that birds fall as far short as possible of thinking such thoughts? I mean, obviously the gods can tell you're joking, but today's idle speculation can be tomorrow's serious thought. Witness the invention of the airplane.

On the other hand, the gods who care about unbelievers do want to supersede religion. I can't be sure that they don't approve of this kind of joke. Still, they probably want a slow, orderly resolution of their conflict with Jehovah, the Roman gods, and their human followers. I wouldn't count on them not wanting a less blasphemous approach to opposing religion.

Finally, I believe the Roman gods punish those who wage war against them (I admit, that may or may not apply to those who joke about it) because every Roman and Hellenic site sayst this is the case. The teachings of the community of believers mean less to pagans than to Christians, but they are hardly irrelevant.

07-03-2002, 12:12 AM	#1
punta Regular Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Can-a-duh! Posts: 148	how to kill god(s) this is inspired by the God Not Dead Yet thread. part way through it Emotional Naturalist pointed out humanity ought to kill God in self-defense (hey God's wiped us out before). gloryhole: "So if he/she did exist how would one go about killing him/her? With all that omniscient, omnipresent, omnibenevelant stuff going for him/her. Would Kryptonite do the trick? kind bud: "Seems to me that withholding the one thing that he wants would do the trick. Don't give him your soul. What if God threw a afterlife party, and no one came?" Skepticwithachainsaw: "Nah, he's omnipresent, just start shooting randomly, you'll hit him..." others have noted that if AIDS is God's retribution on the sinful his superpowers can be stopped by latex and rubber. could it be as easy as luring him out of hiding and smacking him on the head with a rubber mallet. according to the bible he has a weakness for metal (at least metal chariots). could there be a reason he's hiding all the time? afraid? i vote we take the sucka out. any other ideas that might work? what about other gods?

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07-03-2002, 06:56 AM	#2
Perchance Veteran Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,059	For Zeus: Deny him sex. If there are no pretty girls to go after, or if all the pretty girls he goes after want to know all about his sexual history before they have sex with him, I think he would probably wither up and die out of sheer frustration. For Artemis: Arrange a whole group of people to see her bathing. She was so humilated when one man (Actaeon) saw her bathing that she turned him into a stag and had his own hounds rip him apart. Maybe a whole bunch of people looking at her naked would make her die in shame? For Apollo: Choose some random musician whom you think plays well. Start telling him that said musician plays better than he ever will. For Yahweh: STOP WORSHIPPING HIM! I think even more than souls he wants to be adored, praised, and feared by people shutting down their logical brains in favor of communing with him. This is fun... -Perchance.

07-03-2002, 09:32 AM	#3
Corwin Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 4,369	Well apparently God is powerless to stop chariots as long as they have iron wheels... Personally I figure if God was going to come back he should have done it last century... before his creations figured out what to do with all that pitchblende he left lying around all over the place..... 'I AM GOD AND I HAVE RETURNED!!!!!!!!!! Ummm.... what's that big metal thing with the flames coming out of the back end of it? Why is it moving real fast in my general direction? And why does my SuperDuperGodVision(TM) show me that it's radioactive? Ummm... Jerry? Pat? Why are you running away from my divine glory?' [ July 03, 2002: Message edited by: Corwin ]</p>

07-03-2002, 09:54 AM	#4
Ojuice5001 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: A city in Florida that I love Posts: 3,416	Are you guys aware that according to the Religio Romana, the only people who go to hell are either hugely evil persons, and those who make war on the gods?You've already got Jehovah out to get you, do you really want add the Roman gods to the list? A smart, non-hubristic person would cleave to some of the gods, rather than trying to imitate Harry Turtledove's Between the Rivers. If I were a moderator, I would close this thread on sight. (One reason I will never be a moderator. <img src="graemlins/banghead.gif" border="0" alt="[Bang Head]" /> ) The Roman gods are good rulers--do you really want to leave the world in the hands of people like the President of the United States and the king of Saudi Arabia?

07-03-2002, 10:11 AM	#6
Ojuice5001 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: A city in Florida that I love Posts: 3,416	Well, because by their own admission atheists and agnostics don't honor any gods. If someone worships the Roman gods, the Roman gods will affect their lives. And part of this is protecting their worshippers from hostile divine forces like Jehovah. But if someone is an atheist, or even cares little for gods and religion, they are "up for grabs"; and any god--natural knowledge can never tell us which one--may end up ruling their life and afterlife. After all, at least some gods care about everything in the world, including the humans and warm-blooded animals that don't believe in the gods.

07-03-2002, 10:13 AM	#7
Mediancat Contributor Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Baltimore County, MD Posts: 19,644	For details, you could always read Victor Koman's The Jehovah Contract, the story of a hit man who's being paid to kill god. Favorite line, when the assassin in question is trying to, er, find god: "LA please. I need the number of God almighty." Rob aka Mediancat

07-03-2002, 10:15 AM	#8
Perchance Veteran Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,059	Well, all right then. (Proceeding further along with what I consider a hypothetical argument)... How can you be sure that, by posting joking messages on a message board, I am: a) Offending the god(s) who care(s) about people with no religion. b) Inspiring them to punish me. c) Even offending the Roman gods whom I don't honor at all? Besides, if I had to pick a god/dess after I was dead, it would be the IPU. -Perchance.

07-03-2002, 10:18 AM	#9
SanDiegoAtheist Regular Member Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: San Diego, CA, USA Posts: 281	Oops, posted as a reply to the wrong thread... San Diego Atheist [ July 03, 2002: Message edited by: SanDiegoAtheist ]</p>

07-03-2002, 10:37 AM	#10
Ojuice5001 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: A city in Florida that I love Posts: 3,416	Well, I don't know for sure. It just seems like common sense. Think of the movie The Birds. It scared people because birds outnumber us a thousand to one. Therefore, if birds ever banded together, they could do serious harm to humanity. Now, wouldn't you prefer that birds fall as far short as possible of thinking such thoughts? I mean, obviously the gods can tell you're joking, but today's idle speculation can be tomorrow's serious thought. Witness the invention of the airplane. On the other hand, the gods who care about unbelievers do want to supersede religion. I can't be sure that they don't approve of this kind of joke. Still, they probably want a slow, orderly resolution of their conflict with Jehovah, the Roman gods, and their human followers. I wouldn't count on them not wanting a less blasphemous approach to opposing religion. Finally, I believe the Roman gods punish those who wage war against them (I admit, that may or may not apply to those who joke about it) because every Roman and Hellenic site sayst this is the case. The teachings of the community of believers mean less to pagans than to Christians, but they are hardly irrelevant.

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