K

Today I attended a funeral for my grandfather. During the service, there were many religious readings and several "subtle" hints that all of us who hadn't should basically accept his particular flavor of Christianity so that we could spend eternity with him and Jesus.

It made me wonder what I would do for my own funeral. I already know I want to be cremated. But as far as a funeral goes, I (and my wife) agree that we don't want any religious crap.

Has anyone been to an atheist funeral? What did it entail? Does anyone have any good plans for one of their own?

cricket

Hi K, <a href="http://iidb.org/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic&f=55&t=000195" target="_blank">I remember this thread</a> has various ideas from Ohwilleke and others.

I had forgotten that Stan posted his funeral plans on that that thread. Among other things he said:

LOL. We lost a good one when we lost him.

Plebe

Hi K,
You are right in wondering. There is growing support from fellow unbelievers for respect for their wishes with respect to how their funerals are to be handled, here is some of what I have found so far now that you've brought the subject up:

<a href="http://www.americanatheist.org/columns/rm9-99.html" target="_blank">http://www.americanatheist.org/columns/rm9-99.html</a> Dave Silverman of American Atheist's shares his viewpoints and ideas about the subject.

<a href="http://www.atheists.org/comingout/dying.html" target="_blank">http://www.atheists.org/comingout/dying.html</a> The writer is very clear as to how his body is to be treated both pre-need and post mortem.

<a href="http://www.secularhumanism.org/celebrants/" target="_blank">http://www.secularhumanism.org/celebrants/</a> I could not find a Secular Celebrant on the list in the Chicago area, but maybe asking some in neighboring states to help find one or more would be a thought.there are also seminars where secular celebrants can go. Also, at the bottom of the page is a list of books on how to's including funerals.

<a href="http://www.google.com/search?q=secular%20funeral%20ideas&ie=utf8" target="_blank">http://www.google.com/search?q=secular%20funeral%20ideas&ie=utf8</a> Here are the results of a search at <a href="http://dmoz.org" target="_blank">http://dmoz.org</a> of which I chose 'google search engine' with the parameter of secular funeral ideas There is alot there to draw on as well.

Here are 5 tips to writing a eulogy along with a book you can buy if you wish <a href="http://www.funeralswithlove.com/eulogy.htm" target="_blank">http://www.funeralswithlove.com/eulogy.htm</a>

I tried to find a eulogy that Robert Ingersoll wrote for a friend, I think it was for Voltaire[he, Ingersoll, lived in Chicago by the way]without much luck but here is a whole list of his works where you might derive some good ideas from other tributes of his listed for others he eulogized at their funerals. Ingersoll was truly gifted with a talent for words <a href="http://www.infidels.org/library/historical/robert_ingersoll/index.shtml" target="_blank">http://www.infidels.org/library/historical/robert_ingersoll/index.shtml</a>

After you've learned about all of this, maybe a thought would be to become a self-ordained secular non-believing tax free minister at <a href="http://www.ulc.org" target="_blank">http://www.ulc.org</a> <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" /> and be the instigator of a local tradition!

I have a close friend who used to be in mortuary and every so often we get 'into it' about the whole stinkin' casket businesses and his argument is always that by utilizing their services I would be keeping several people employed, well, true, but sooner or later all the waste of good acreage on wood boxes with dead bodies has to stop His other argument is that I would be giving my living family and friends a means to experience 'closure' and my argument is "Well, I can have a 'wake' and then afterwards have the body donated to a medical college." And then he goes on about how they slice and dice the body up at the medical college and afterwards the mangled remains go to some Chiropractic college and then...elsewhere, to the charnel house I suppose?

This is an important subject and ranks right up there with "Last Will and Testament" In the meantime, as young as I am, I might just stick with a holographic, county recorded and notarized will for the time being.

It will be interesting to see what others on this thread have to say.

Thanks for bringing this up!

[ October 17, 2002: Message edited by: Plebe ]</p>

CuriosityKills

What I would really like is to be chopped up into bits and fed to vultures. But I think I'm sort of out of luck.

I don't think there is a funeral parlour in these parts that would arrange such a thing. I know that they do it in the Himalaya, but, unfortunately, I do not belong to a Himalayan tribe.

I am sort of a special circumstance. What I want isn't really acceptable in North America. But normal burial and cremation is shouldn't be a problem. Atheists shouldn't have a relly hard time getting what they want out of a funeral. Just skip the trip to the church.

Atheists should probably make sure to specify that they don't want any of the god crap to be part of their funerals. I think that this should take care of any problems.

Me, on the other hand... I don't know if just stating that I want to be fed to vultures in my will is good enough...

Deadend

The funeral of my grandmother was atheistic I guess. There was definitely no mention of god(s), not even of their non-existence .

There was a speech by someone from the Humanist League, who described her course of life, her youth, her first marriage, subsequent divorce, her experiences as a single mother during WW II, her time in the resistance, her second marriage (to my grandfather), and all the travelling they did together. It was done very respectfully and was quite moving.

There is probably an atheistic/humanistic association that organizes funerals somewhere in your area. I myself haven’t got any plans for my funeral, but I’m only 25, and I don’t plan on dying any time soon.

Manta

Cremation? Maybe.

Burial at sea, under the red & white dive flag, instead of an American flag (provided I'm still an American at my death...ya never know...)? Maybe.

There should be enough $$ in my estate to have my ashes scattered just about anywhere in the world...it's going to be over my favourite dive site and by a trusted friend or companion. Then there's gonna be one schweet 'wake'

Eulogy? nah. Religion? not on your life...unless you can count the <a href="http://www.cobo.org/index.php" target="_blank">COB,O</a>

-Kim (*typo)

[ October 18, 2002: Message edited by: Manta ]</p>

K

Thanks everybody. I don't plan on dying soon, but if the unthinkable should happen, I don't want my wife to have to sit through a service that will mean nothing to her.

Godless Dave

Just make sure your wishes are known. You don't need to have a celebrant at all - it's not like a wedding where an official has to sign something. Maybe think of a few friends and/or relatives who you would want to speak. Have backups in case they die before you do.

ImGod

Funeral or Party? Hmmm.

Growing up we did the typical funeral of church service, cemetery, sandwiches, crying, and chips. The kids were bored, the adults moped around, and everyone hated it.

Then I went to a “funeral” for my wife’s grandfather. They had a party. They picked a church to have a service, but none of the family really went to church, so they could have just skipped that wasted hour. Then we went to one of the family members houses and started drinking the drink of choice. It’s the favorite drink of the deceased. Her grandfather drank CC and Coke. So starting around noon on Saturday and ending around 2:30 am on Sunday, we drank too much, ate too much, watched home videos, and looked at picture albums. Everyone who knew him told funny stories about the deceased and toasted him. I new him better after his funeral than before. I highly recommend this type of celebration of life.

K

ImGod:

That's what I'd like (minus the church part, of course).