john76m

Hi, everyone. I am a male in my 20s. When I was about thirteen, I decided that God did not exist, and I became a public atheist (much to my Baptist family's dismay.) I never seriously questioned my atheism throughout my teen years or early twenties.

I recently became involved with a wonderful lady. She is everything I am looking for ... except she is Catholic. Although I don't agree with Catholic doctrine / practice, I respect her freedom to believe whatever she wants.

The problem is ... I feel myself drawn to theism now, and it scares me. I thought I was totally secure in my lack of belief, until I met this woman.

Has anyone else experienced doubt about atheism, or does anyone have any advice?

John Michael

[ June 25, 2002: Message edited by: john76m ]</p>

seebs

I spent a long time having no particular belief in God, but eventually ended up with one.

I can understand why theists fear losing their faith. I can't understand why atheists would fear losing their lack of belief, or even fear losing a belief. Rationality is all about accepting the possibility that new data will change your mind.

Just try to distinguish between "it would make this person happy if I felt the way she does" and "the evidence for this convinces me".

Out of curiousity, what about theism scares you? Presumably, the idea of being loved isn't the scary part. Is it some particular doctrine you associate with theism? Just the idea that you could believe something so weird or irrational?

Think carefully about why being drawn to theism would scare you; if nothing else, you may be able to eventually lay some old ghosts to rest. (This statement does not imply a literal belief in haunting.) If you have had bad experiences with theism in the past, or the God that was preached to you was a scary one, you might, if nothing else, be happier not believing in your new friend's God, who is probably a much calmer one. (Not to overgeneralize, but *in general*, Catholics believe in a much calmer God than Baptists do.)

Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

Mad Kally

Never! I could believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny easier than I could ever believe in any god/gods again. What are the odds of that?

SharonDee

Many Christians believe without really thinking about why they believe. You seem to be the atheist version who disbelieves without really thinking about why you don't believe.

I think seebs has good advice for you. Look at the evidence and the arguments, both pro and con, for the existence of god(s) and make up your own mind.

If you find you believe in gods, then you have to figure out which ones. Then you have to figure out what (if anything) the gods want of you.

If you find you still don't believe in gods, then you have to make sure you can get along with others who do believe in gods, including your romantic interest.

Simple!

vagrant

Of course you could go from atheist to theist, but you also realize the price you pay for that warm, squishy safety net that religion gives you, I take it.

If (somebody will probably yell at me about this) you are a true atheist, the prospect of closing off a part of your rational thought should be, at the very least, a highly unpleasant prospect.

I think you need to examine why you are being drawn to it. To share more with your significant other? You can't stand living without a net any longer? You had some sort of evidential experience that indicated the existance of a god (if so, please share it)?

I know this comes off a bit harsh, sorry.

(this thread would probably be better suited to the Secular Lifestyle forum)

daemon

Certainly I've experienced doubt. I consider myself a pragmatic atheist--I'm technically agnostic, but having no reason to believe in God, my behavior and attitudes are generally atheistic. So every once in a while a doubt, but nothing ever happens to pull me back to theistic belief, so I remain as I am.

I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for here. I guess I don't really understand concern about changing your belief position.

seebs

Isn't that because atheism is simply the natural default state, in the absence of evidence, and there's no need to have a "reason" not to believe?

Or does that only apply when arguing with theists, and once you get converted, you're expected to develop an elaborate support network of "reasons" to keep your faith strong?

philechat

Examine evidences, science and philosophy on the subject of atheism/theism, and come to a conclusion of your own. Just remember that even if you chose theism finally, you must still tolerate those who come to a different conclusion as you do.

Sometimes people's heart does not listen to their head. Try to maintain a clear mind when you assess the subject, and put emotional convictions aside. Since human brain chemistry is one of the major reason for religious beliefs, I think humans would sometimes be drawn to mystical experiences and abandon logic in favor of emotional arguments.

I went through similar experiences recently, but after I calmed down and examined evidences and philosophies I decided that theism still does not pass through logical examinations. On the other hand, if others had examined through the evidences and thought theism as true, I would respect their decisions and wish that they respect mine.

But if someone believed in God without ever examining evidences from both sides (and of other religions), they are being intellectually dishonest. Ditto for those who exclude others and disrespect others because of different religious beliefs.

[ June 25, 2002: Message edited by: philechat ]</p>

Mad Kally

Yes, and how can a person turn their brain off and believe in absurd superstitions again? An invisible guy in the sky who is reading your mind and watching every move you make and who gives a shit?!?

john76m

I can't explain the fear totally. It is in a way abstract. I have become comfortable in my belief (atheism), and everyone knows what I believe. I fear their opinion of me will decrease if they see I am not consistent in my belief.

I admit, part of the reason I am drawn to theism is the woman I am with. I had some bad experiences with theists in my youth / teen years, but my lady friend is warm, nonjudgemental, gentle, loving ... and Catholic. She is not hypocritcal in any way.

If I became theist (or even Catholic), I see two problems. First, I would be believing because she believes. It's like, she likes the ocean, so now I like the ocean. Didn't like it before I met her, and don't like it without her. Is it the same with belief? Also, we have discusseed marraige, but not seriously. I love her, and would do anything for her ... but would I convert to a religion I did not believe? (Ok, I admit, I don't fully understand Catholicism).

Does this help you see where I am coming from?

John Michael