Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Boro Nut · 05-23-2002, 08:32 AM

Heaven. What’s the point of it? We are supposed to be able sit at the feet of Jesus while he tells anecdotes and shows off his scars and say “Wow, that’s amazing Jesus. You’re so cool”, but what chance have you of getting close enough to hear what he is saying? I don’t expect they will reserve a space for me at the expense of Mother Theresa for instance. I’m sure by now the saints have cornered all the best cushions.

It occurs to me that TV always give the impression that the crowd at large pop festivals are all swaying to the music and having a ball, but that’s only the ones at the front. In the mud-bath at the back most people are saying “Has it started yet? This is shit this is”, or “I’m off home me”, and “Someone’s just pissed on my leg”. I don’t expect heaven will be any different by this day and age. If you had gone through what a martyr had gone through, would you move over for some Johnny-come-lately who died of bliss?

This probably explains why ridiculous cults still crop up with a sickening regularity. They at least come with a guarantee of a more restricted entry. After all, there is no point joining one of the large religions if you only end up having to share the benefits with the rabble or find yourself queuing for ages at dinnertime is there?

Boro Nut

PS - Unless you can wangle a backstage pass to the Muslim section, a shag would seem to be out of the question too.

MarcoPolo · 05-23-2002, 08:59 AM

If Heaven ends up being like I though it would be when I was a kid, then I definitely want to be there.

I thought that you could choose where you lived and how you lived and always wanted to live in some medieval time period. One with magic and dragons and fighters and all that D&D stuff. (Yeah, I play D&D, so sue me!)

That would be cool.

Unfortunately, I think heaven is supposed to just be a new earth.

[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: MarcoPolo ]</p>

The Other Michael · 05-23-2002, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MarcoPolo:
<strong>If Heaven ends up being like I though it would be when I was a kid, then I definitely want to be there.

I thought that you could choose where you lived and how you lived and always wanted to live in some medieval time period. One with magic and dragons and fighters and all that D&D stuff.
</strong>

Hi MarcoPolo,

Just to show the generation gap, when I was a small kid in the 1950s I'd pray to go to Oz, where I'd also get to be a tank commander and drive the tank around going after the bad guys.

The religions seem to have pretty boring ideas about what constitutes eternal bliss.

cheers,
Michael

Groucho · 05-23-2002, 10:19 AM

Well, I'm hoping that Heaven is of the the "Three Stooges" variety, where we all stand around on clouds playing harps for the rest of eternity. That would rock!

Being from Utah, I also think that the "South Park" Mormon heaven is intriguing.

I'm suddenly reminded of the old joke where a fellow dies, and is being given his introductory tour of heaven. He notices a very large wall, and asks what is behind it. "Shhh!" he is told, "Those are the Christians...they think they're the only ones here!"

[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: Groucho ]</p>

MarcoPolo · 05-23-2002, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Other Michael:
The religions seem to have pretty boring ideas about what constitutes eternal bliss.

Heaven should be like a big holodeck! That would make it worth working for!

Ojuice5001 · 05-23-2002, 10:35 AM

Quote:

This probably explains why ridiculous cults still crop up with a sickening regularity. They at least come with a guarantee of a more restricted entry. After all, there is no point in joining one of the major religions if you only have to end up sharing the benefits with the rabble or find yourself queueing for ages at dinnertime is there?

That's something good about being a Roman pagan today. There are fewer Religio Romanas alive today, and therefore Jupiter and crew can afford to use more resources on each one in this world and the next. Keep in mind, anyone who is considering becoming a theist, that the Religio Romana offers both some benefits of being an established religion, and all the benefits of being a small religion.

sighhswolf · 05-23-2002, 02:37 PM

If there is some form of life after death, I certainly would not want to spend eternity with people I dont know..........
I would like to be located with my friends from this life, so I guess heaven is totally out of the question for me.

I heard a guy say once that heaven was a place that was grunt and groan free.
Now for those of you who are in the latter stages of your life you know what this means.
It means that when you try to stand up after being seated for a while you dont groan with pain in your knees while attempting to stand.

It means that when you bend over to pick up something you dont grunt due to the strain of lifting that belly back into an upright position.

It means that when you first try and roll out of bed every morning it no longer takes you an hour of preparation to get the joints working properly
and not risking a seize-up....... requiring the WD 40 treatment to loosen things up.

It means you can tie your boot laces on the very first try...everytime.

Ut Oh.....been sitting here in one place too long,
groannnnnnnnnn, sighhhhhhhh, grunt and stand..
What a life!!
Wolf

Marduk · 05-23-2002, 03:27 PM

I recall a Farside comic with a guy sitting on a cloud with his halo, the caption said "I wish I'd have brought a magazine"

bonduca · 05-23-2002, 03:32 PM

When I was a child...I used to wonder if angels were to fly around in their long white robes, could people look up and see their angel underwear.

Panta Pei · 05-23-2002, 03:38 PM

*angel underwearrrrrrr...*

Thank you Victoria <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" /> your secret is safe with me

05-23-2002, 08:32 AM	#1
Boro Nut Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Middlesbrough, England Posts: 3,909	Who Wants To Go To Heaven? Heaven. What’s the point of it? We are supposed to be able sit at the feet of Jesus while he tells anecdotes and shows off his scars and say “Wow, that’s amazing Jesus. You’re so cool”, but what chance have you of getting close enough to hear what he is saying? I don’t expect they will reserve a space for me at the expense of Mother Theresa for instance. I’m sure by now the saints have cornered all the best cushions. It occurs to me that TV always give the impression that the crowd at large pop festivals are all swaying to the music and having a ball, but that’s only the ones at the front. In the mud-bath at the back most people are saying “Has it started yet? This is shit this is”, or “I’m off home me”, and “Someone’s just pissed on my leg”. I don’t expect heaven will be any different by this day and age. If you had gone through what a martyr had gone through, would you move over for some Johnny-come-lately who died of bliss? This probably explains why ridiculous cults still crop up with a sickening regularity. They at least come with a guarantee of a more restricted entry. After all, there is no point joining one of the large religions if you only end up having to share the benefits with the rabble or find yourself queuing for ages at dinnertime is there? Boro Nut PS - Unless you can wangle a backstage pass to the Muslim section, a shag would seem to be out of the question too.

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05-23-2002, 08:59 AM	#2
MarcoPolo Regular Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Southern California Posts: 131	If Heaven ends up being like I though it would be when I was a kid, then I definitely want to be there. I thought that you could choose where you lived and how you lived and always wanted to live in some medieval time period. One with magic and dragons and fighters and all that D&D stuff. (Yeah, I play D&D, so sue me!) That would be cool. Unfortunately, I think heaven is supposed to just be a new earth. [ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: MarcoPolo ]</p>

05-23-2002, 10:19 AM	#4
Groucho Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Freedonia Posts: 10	Well, I'm hoping that Heaven is of the the "Three Stooges" variety, where we all stand around on clouds playing harps for the rest of eternity. That would rock! Being from Utah, I also think that the "South Park" Mormon heaven is intriguing. I'm suddenly reminded of the old joke where a fellow dies, and is being given his introductory tour of heaven. He notices a very large wall, and asks what is behind it. "Shhh!" he is told, "Those are the Christians...they think they're the only ones here!" [ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: Groucho ]</p>

05-23-2002, 02:37 PM	#7
sighhswolf Regular Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Charlotte,NC USA Posts: 379	If there is some form of life after death, I certainly would not want to spend eternity with people I dont know.......... I would like to be located with my friends from this life, so I guess heaven is totally out of the question for me. I heard a guy say once that heaven was a place that was grunt and groan free. Now for those of you who are in the latter stages of your life you know what this means. It means that when you try to stand up after being seated for a while you dont groan with pain in your knees while attempting to stand. It means that when you bend over to pick up something you dont grunt due to the strain of lifting that belly back into an upright position. It means that when you first try and roll out of bed every morning it no longer takes you an hour of preparation to get the joints working properly and not risking a seize-up....... requiring the WD 40 treatment to loosen things up. It means you can tie your boot laces on the very first try...everytime. Ut Oh.....been sitting here in one place too long, groannnnnnnnnn, sighhhhhhhh, grunt and stand.. What a life!! Wolf

05-23-2002, 03:27 PM	#8
Marduk Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: the 10th planet Posts: 5,065	I recall a Farside comic with a guy sitting on a cloud with his halo, the caption said "I wish I'd have brought a magazine"

05-23-2002, 03:32 PM	#9
bonduca Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: . Posts: 1,653	When I was a child...I used to wonder if angels were to fly around in their long white robes, could people look up and see their angel underwear.

05-23-2002, 03:38 PM	#10
Panta Pei Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: in the middle of things Posts: 722	angel underwearrrrrrr... Thank you Victoria <img src="graemlins/notworthy.gif" border="0" alt="[Not Worthy]" /> your secret is safe with me

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