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06-13-2002, 05:06 AM | #101 |
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sorry, wrong post.
[ June 13, 2002: Message edited by: IntenSity ]</p> |
06-13-2002, 05:06 AM | #102 | |
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Brighid what do you think of this comment..
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It had better be a joint decision, that's all I can say. love Helen |
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06-13-2002, 05:37 AM | #103 |
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I took the pill for many years and found it to be an effective method of birth control and I had few side effects. I also have had hormonal balance issues and endometriosis problems and the pill was effective in balancing those problems out. The pill significantly lowered the amount of pain I experienced because of endometriosis and helped to get my wacked out hormones in balance. Taking the pill has been advantageous to improving my health. I didn’t start having problems with the pill until I late in my twenties (recently) and I stopped taking it at age 30. The birth control pill can be a very effective and healthy alternative for many women and for others it is a bad health choice. This experience will vary with age and hormonal levels. I needed it for many years, not only for birth control and peace of mind, but for physical ailments that may affect my future fertility. A woman should consult her doctor and determine what is best for her specific situation and health needs.
There have been many improvements in birth control, especially the pill and I don’t believe it possess any high health risks. Although women over 35 and those who smoke should not take it unless instructed to be a doctor. IUD’s have come a long way as well and my husband and I are researching this option with my doctor. I think for most women the benefits of taking the pill far out weigh the risks, which for the general population are low. I have done any research recently on the increased cancer risks, but I do believe that taking the pill decreases a woman’s chance for getting some other cancers like cervical. A woman has a greater chance of increasing her risk for cervical cancer etc. by not having her partners use condoms then she does from the pill. I believe a woman’s risk for cervical cancer goes up the more sexual partners she has had – but I can’t sight the reasons why off the top of my head. Nothing is fool proof, but there are methods that are highly effective and when it comes to protecting oneself I prefer to take the path that has a lesser chance of harming my future. Any sexually active woman who is not interested in getting pregnant OR contracting an STD (and 1 in 4 women have HPV) she should be using proper methods of birth control and not leaving things to chance. One sexual encounter is all it takes. ONE and you are infected with a disease and for women, most go along time without ever knowing they have an STD. I can’t emphasize birth control and protection enough for both men and women. I agree that it is a choice partners make together, but ultimately with something like the BC pill the final decision is with the woman (and hopefully her doctor.) A woman shouldn’t be forced to take or not take birth control, just as she shouldn’t be forced to carry or terminate a pregnancy. But any woman who doesn’t want to get pregnant (or contract an STD) who isn’t using protection is just plain foolish and irresponsible. So many people go about with the attitude “It won’t happen to me” and when it does they are dumbfounded. They ask themselves,” How could this have happened?” or comment, “This is so unfair” and “What was I thinking? I should have protected myself better.” Well it’s too late then and the consequences don’t seem much worth it once you’ve had to endure the embarrassment of testing positive for an STD and then having to confront your partner, or past partners to determine the source of your infection. Or when you find out you are pregnant and you are left with the choices of keeping a child, terminating the pregnancy or placing your child up for adoption. Or if you are confronted with a diagnosis that is positive for HIV and the devastation that causes your life – specifically the long, and painful spiral into death you will endure. Ask any person who has gone through any of these life changing experiences and they will tell you that you are an absolute fool for failing to protect yourself because it was inconvenient, or took away from your momentary pleasure. Brighid |
06-13-2002, 05:39 AM | #104 | |
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06-13-2002, 05:47 AM | #105 |
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Brighid,
Oh, when I said 'joint', I should perhaps have clarified that as part of that, the woman needs to make her own free choice rather than being coerced into taking it. I believe it ought to be that both partners first are equally well-informed, then in freely choosing based on that information, find agreement. As it were. If that's not too idealistic to be possible in real life! It has concerned me in this thread that snatchbalance would take steps in finding out about vasectomy without telling his partner and that IntenSity seems to have come to mutual consent on birth control without discussing it. In which case how can you be sure it's really mutual consent? How can you be sure you haven't simply pressured the other person into agreeing with you? Although - that might happen anyway even when things are discussed. For various reasons. I would call that 'dysfunction joint decision-making' - fwiw. I guess what I reacted to in the quote was there was not anything explicitly said about discussing it with one's partner and making sure she's ok with it. Maybe it was implied and not said. Anyway, thanks for your comments on the relative health risks and so on. You are very well informed! love Helen |
06-13-2002, 05:58 AM | #106 |
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Thanks Helen. When your entire life gets turn upside down, turned inside out and pretty much irrevocable and cataclysmically changed after ONE night and ONE sperm cell because you weren’t very careful and thought stupidly, “It won’t happen to me” … well you get informed really, really quickly and make it a point in your life to NEVER let that happen again. I am forever thankful for my beautiful child but the next time I have a baby it will be when I am ready. I have also done my best to inform other people who held the same stupid notions I did in the hopes that maybe one person can be saved the pain and heart ache and physical trauma I endured.
One final note: Sexually active men and women need to also consider that pregnancy is life threatening to a woman. Even under the best of circumstances it poses a MAJOR health risk to the female. Thankfully we have advanced technology and medical techniques that limit this, but pregnancy and delivery carry many unpredictable risks for each woman. Those who are fortunate enough to go through both with little complications are very, very fortunate. Others of us don’t fair so well and one of the major factors in my decision not to get pregnant (and maybe never) is how devastating pregnancy is to my physical health. I was perfectly healthy and very fit when I got pregnant and most people thought I was dieing of cancer I was so sick. The complications during the delivery have left me scarred for life and financially devastated me. There is more at stake then just having a baby. Brighid |
06-13-2002, 06:06 AM | #107 | |
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Helen,
Thanks for the great advice. I have a decision to make evidently and I believe I will have to sit her down and discuss it. Turning around the tea and sugar analogy was really effective. Baloo The withdrawal and "rythym" method combined is far more effective than withdrawal alone. We are combining both, and maybe thats the reason for our success story. When she is safe, withdrawal takes a break, when she is not, coitus interruptus is the norm. I have a sister in law who can't get pg because of the heavy use of pills (this is just what we think). Anyway, she doesnt like pills because of the mood swings they induce, nausea, irregular cycles, and other long term side effects. But I will have to research more on the available pills and the possible side effects. i.e. you don't give a damn about STD's, because you are just that confident that she would break up with you before she "met her real Mr. Right" Come on Baloo. This is out of line. And hey, I like that expression "low-tech". Very interesting perception. I actually never thought of it that way. "Low-tech" hahahahahahaha. I like that. Maybe I should write a program that detects sperms and activates a hidden hose that will spray a despermilizer that will kill those little creatures when they approach the ova and I won't have to worry about a damn thing. Hahahaha. Brighid Your first site, I dont mean to riducyle it but read this: ===Some sperm will seep out during foreplay and may enter the uterus and cause pregnancy. === If a sperm can seep out and enter the uterus that is not foreplay, that is sex. Is it a site for teens? And about this: ===The woman may need additional stimulation to achieve orgasm or sexual gratification. === Easy, make sure she comes before you start the intercourse. ===It requires the man to have good self-control. === I am the captain of my ship and the master of my flow. ==It offers no protection against sexually transmitted diseases. == She is trustworthy. And faithful. So am I. ==It may work for a while and then fail at an unpredictable time. == Like everything else in life. ==It has a 19% failure rate. == Not my experience. ==The time to withdraw the penis from the vagina is hard to predict accurately. == One of lifes challenges. I am disappointed that you have given me stuff for teens. Info from quacks. In summary, "...pre-cum may contain some sperm..." No hard evidence. Not even a clue. "...During male sexual arounsel, the Cowper's glands secrete their fluid, which lubricates the urethra. This can happen close to the time of actual ejaculation, so sperm may already be present in this clear pre-ejaculatory fluid. SO YOU CAN STILL GET YOUR PARTNER PREGNANT WITHOUT EJACULATING!..." Non sequitur. Cowpers gland does not contain semen. Brighid, are you telling me that the only info on seminal fluid on the web is for teens? I think you could have done better. But I appreciate your effort. Hey – if you don’t want to wear a condom that is fine with me. It is nonetheless foolish, even if thus far you have managed not to get her pregnant that you know of. Often times a woman’s body naturally aborts a pregnancy – but hey, ignorance is bliss – right? Foolish? You have no evidence Brighid. Just myths. Ignorance? Oh, now we are resorting to ad hominems, the last straw. I had no idea this was so important to you. I am sorry to shake your assumptions. But calling me foolish and ignorant is not the solution. I expected biological info. Not some quacks counselling teens on the dangers of "unsafe" sex and STD infection. Jesus, that semen can seep (through the air?) and enter the uterus during foreplay! And if she doesn’t mind an unplanned pregnancy then hey – who am I to judge your choices? She is not pregnant. Storm in a teacup? Take it easy. We are using the natural method of birth control. You obviously dont advocate for it. That doesn't mean she has an unplanned pregnancy. In my opinion, you and your girlfriend are being irresponsible and my experience has been that things drastically change when a couple is confronted with a pregnancy they aren’t ready for Many things can change anyones life drastically. Are you asserting that it is irresponsible to combine rhythm method and withdrawal method as a means of avoiding pregnancy? List down your reasons, for finding it irresponsible please. But what does experience count for? Experience counts. Once bitten twice shy right? You just had a bad experience. That doesnt mean your perspective is the best for everyone. Some people have sex once and get AIDS. Does that mean that everyone else should not have sex even once? The answer is no. The lessons of every experience must be applied judiciously. You were the one who posted here about your sexual practices. You got advice and it’s yours to use or discard. I asked for evidence. All you have provided is advice for oversexed hormone-drunk teens from quacks who are pushing myths and relying on ignorance and fear. When you have evidence, please post it. I could however dispel these myths by saying this : Quote:
And <a href="http://www.bangla2000.com/Women's_World/Sex/Archive/9-1-2000/sex1/sex.html" target="_blank">This site</a> Thanks for your concern though. |
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06-13-2002, 06:29 AM | #108 | |
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<A *WHIP CRACK* resounds through the room, and Baloo, belatedly, realizes he did not re-read his post from the perspective of the defensive female audience.> Helen, let me correct some implications I see in your post: IMPLIED: I prefer this method because all risks and responsibilities fall on the women. IN FACT: I prefer this method because it more effectively prevents pregnancy than condoms, and because it is less invasive (for both participants) to sexual activity than condoms. FURTHERMORE: If there were a pill for men, with similar risks and success rates, I would be on it. IMPLIED: The pill is just a negative burden. IN FACT: There are many different types out there, some of which have negative side-effects for certain women, some with no effects, and as my wife would attest, some have positive side effects (in addition to the obvious - nonpregnancy). Even when not in a sexual relationship, my wife has remained on the pill simply because it reduces the hormonal changes before,during and after her period, it reduces the duration of her periods, and it reduces the levels of flow, with no observed negative effects. FURTHERMORE, were my wife unable to find a type of pill which had no negative side effects for her, we would be using a different method of birth control. IMPLIED: I feel that when it comes to these issues, the man should make the final decisions. IN FACT: You clearly know little of my character. |
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06-13-2002, 06:31 AM | #109 |
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Originally posted by IntenSity:
Helen, Thanks for the great advice. I have a decision to make evidently and I believe I will have to sit her down and discuss it. Turning around the tea and sugar analogy was really effective. Thanks Some things are hard to discuss and it's even worse when it turns out that your reasons for not wanting to discuss it were right... However, I still think it's best to discuss stuff, in the end. After all, if you find you have irreconciliable differences, it's best to stop doing anything that has the slightest chance of making it harder to spend your future together - I would think... But it's only my opinion, in the end. You know your own relationship and I don't - of course . And, as soon as there's a rule - or a principle - there's an exception! love Helen |
06-13-2002, 06:34 AM | #110 | |
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Too many people and too many stories out there to make a sweeping generalization. I have 2 children, 1 boy, 1 girl. I'm done reproducing, and am ready to regulate my activities to recreation. |
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