Oxidizing Material

Started it today, I did, because I've noticed a disturbing lack in religions that are more up to date. Pagan faiths are rooted in nature. Biblical faiths (Christianity, Jewish faiths) is rooted to the bible, and that thing's like, 6000 years old or something. All other faiths don't live up to anything past 1990. Except Scientology, but Scientologists eat babies.

Anyway, I introduce to you, the Cult of the Computer. The only religion that is based around technology. A brief rundown:

• Borrowing from Wicca, an Athame (ritual knife) is used for rituals, the pentagram for protection. In my religion, the knife is used for protection.
• Instead of the athame being an iron, double bladed black handled knife, it's now a stainless steal, jagged edge blade with weight holes punched in and a poly grip black moulded handle. The blade is made easier to wipe clean of blood, from, uh, "sacrifices". Yeah, sacrifices. That'll do nicely.
• The initiation ritual is you ordering a lifetime subscription to porn.
• You must be a genius at computers or other technologic stuff.
• The evil of our religion is the EMP.
• Submitting yourself to the god and goddess (Riva Graphics and Intel Processor) means you will live a life of cybertronics, slacker attitude and laid backness.
• You probably won't get many women and will smell badly, but the women who are members will be all over you.
• Said women are very hot. Trust me.
• Ceremental garments are as such:
  -Urban, Arctic or Street camoflague pants.
  -Bullet proof vest, due to paranoia that everyone is against you (because you're so cool, obviously)
  -Black trench coat for outside (Hiss ! Non artificial light!)
  -Combat boots
  -Bandana
  -Sunglasses, also for outside
  -Grease stained tank top
• Rituals are as such:
  - Hacking government files
  -Cybertheft
  -Masturbation (this is a daily thing)
  -Virus creation
  -Cyber crime
  -Record destruction
• Showers are optional
• You will live with everyone else in a large warehouse, surrounded by electronia and cyberia, as well as much technology
• No hell, only Blue Screen*

Eh? EH? Join us!

And note, this is all in jest. I have not started my own religion, but you are free to join the Cult of the Computer is you wish. Truth be told, the aforementioned garbs are what I usualy wear normally.

*-Blue Screen is a registered Satan of the Cult of the Computer

[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: Oxidizing Material ]</p>

Oxidizing Material

Bumpy

emotional

Hey, OxMa, a recommendation:

GET A LIFE!

Seriously. Swimming in the mud of computer stuff can be very dangerous. And I know it.

Oxidizing Material

This thread

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Devnet's head

Wow, the thread just broke Mach 5 flying over you.
Seriously, in case you missed it, Devnet, I intended this thread to be a joke. I do not worship video cards and processors, man.


Just so you don't get pissed off over a misunderstanding.

[ February 11, 2002: Message edited by: Oxidizing Material ]</p>

Geebo

Cult of the Computer- banana sect.

Announcing, I have just formed a splinter sect of the cult of the computer.

rundown....

Exactly the same but wearing a bobble hat.
(the word 'knife' is also translated as 'banana')

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