Freethought & Rationalism Archive

beth · 06-16-2003, 01:33 PM

Helen,
I don't advocate permiscuity in any way. I think that it is a very dangerous thing. It's just that I am really, really glad that my husband was not a virgin when we met. I'm glad that he knew what he was supposed to do, and so on. But I also think that when two adults are in love, then sex is often an expression of that love. Waiting till marriage could lead to a hastey marriage that most likely will end in divorce. But I respect your views and I understand where they come from and I appreciate the logic behind them.

As far as the size issue goes, unless my partner was so small that it could not be felt, or so large that he caused pain, the size is irrelevent.

Beth

seebs · 06-16-2003, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bree

Not that multiple partners is bad, or anything - if it works for you, kudos. I won't tell you that it's wrong or gross or whatever because it's your thing. Just like monogamy is my thing.

Mine too. I wonder how many people think I'm some sort of idiot, to preemptively assume that I'd rather not cheat on my wife and wreck my marriage. I mean, I've never done it, how can I be sure?

Sheesh!

HelenM · 06-16-2003, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Calzaer
I don't like doing that... my thought process is chaotic and broken enough without me editing out the things that lead to my conclusions. Only seeing myself lash out was what hauled me up short in the first place... maybe I thought it would contribute to understanding. I mean... argh, I'm still new at this anger management thing. I don't believe anyone would really believe me if I just *said* was angry and they couldn't see the origional thought process. I can edit it out if you like.

No, you don't need to.

Best wishes with the anger management.

Helen

Rational BAC · 06-16-2003, 01:50 PM

Lost the first one. Will try it again.

I do not think "size" is very important really for most couples. Anyone (male) who has been to a gym knows that most men are pretty much the same size.

Of course there are gross abnormalities in penis size. And that can be unfortunate---but it is not the general rule.

Rational BAC · 06-16-2003, 01:52 PM

And on the female side, -------

-----any woman who can physically accomodate a vaginal birth---can also accomodate the usual penis size--give or take an inch or so.----which is quite normal.

Bunny Lover · 06-16-2003, 01:59 PM

Hello JamesKrieger,

No, I wouldn't buy a car without a test drive. But, then again, cars can't adapt and share the joys of discovery with each other. Or something.

My contrary life as an athiest virgin will likely continue until the day I settle down with the girl I've been looking for. Until then, erm, more Scrabble!

Eagel4Jesus · 06-16-2003, 02:22 PM

How can it be bad sex if neither party has anything to compare it to?

If a girl has sex with a guy who has a 9" penis and loves it, that means she should never marry any guy close to average length and size. If the girl never had sex, she wouldn't know there was such pleasure in the world (although that may be sad for the girl, if she marries a guy with a small penis, that is more to lose)

Matt

Bree · 06-16-2003, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Eagel4Jesus
How can it be bad sex if neither party has anything to compare it to?

An orgasm is an orgasm. If you have one, you'll know.

You can definately have bad sex and have nothing to compare it to. If your partner is not satisfying you, emotionally or physically, in bed - then it's bad sex.

Eagel4Jesus · 06-16-2003, 02:43 PM

But a comparison will only make sex worse...as long as the woman isn't exceedingly curious, she'd be fine with one lover.

One problem with premarital sex is people will marry because the sex is so good, and then the sex is no longer good and you get another divorce...premarital sex encourages more marriages and therefore more divorce...

Matt

Opera Nut · 06-16-2003, 02:52 PM

Something like 10 to 20% of women cannot deliver a baby vaginally because of small size. That is why C-section is the most commonly performed operation in America as it is life saving for both mother and baby. Me for example.

That's why before C-sections, one-third of women either died in childbirth from a small pelvis or died later from complications such as uncontrolled bleeding or childbed fever (a bacterial uterine infection caused by a woman's vagina being handled by a doctor with dirty hands).

I'm glad that I got my sexual experimentation out of the way in college. If I had married my first sex partner, I would have been a)miserable because of his personality; and b) definitely out cheating on him to see if any guy out there was better at sex, nicer personality, more considerate, kind, stuff like that.

Some people have much higher sex drives than other people, and that doesn't make it bad. It just makes it something that you have to deal with one way or another if you have a high sex drive. Probably nearly all teenagers, and I'm talking girls as well as boys, are swamped by their hormones. I remember it well myself, being completely obsessed with boys.

Getting married just because you're horny and can't stand yourself, and the person you marry just happens to be horny too adn you have convinced yourselves you're in love, when you are just horny, is the dumbest reason in the world to get married. Marriages are a lot easier to get into than they are to get out of, and having a piece of paper that says you are committed to each other MEANS NOTHING in the real world. It doesn't make the other person act committed to you, and it can't make them change. Some people never get that idea. They think that magic screwing license issued by the State will make everybody committed and everything hunky dory.

Finding the person you truly want to spend your life with is a crap shoot. If you find that person while you're young, you've beaten some amazing odds. People grow and change and get to know themselves better. I've been through the marriage wars and two very unpleasant divorces. That piece of paper could not make those guys love, honor and cherish me. No way.

Judging someone by whether or not they are a virgin has to be the most shallow judgment I have ever seen in my life.
The double standard is bull and this crap I heard growing up from Ann Landers about "the girl is supposed to say no, no, no. The guy is an animal, all guys will throw you away once they get WHAT THEY WANT (evil shudder)" is crap. It's demeaning to both sexes.

Now I'm settled down with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and I have no desire to keep looking. It took me 39 years to find him, at a Unitarian church.

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06-16-2003, 01:33 PM	#61
beth Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: where orange blossoms bloom... Posts: 1,802	Helen, I don't advocate permiscuity in any way. I think that it is a very dangerous thing. It's just that I am really, really glad that my husband was not a virgin when we met. I'm glad that he knew what he was supposed to do, and so on. But I also think that when two adults are in love, then sex is often an expression of that love. Waiting till marriage could lead to a hastey marriage that most likely will end in divorce. But I respect your views and I understand where they come from and I appreciate the logic behind them. As far as the size issue goes, unless my partner was so small that it could not be felt, or so large that he caused pain, the size is irrelevent. Beth

06-16-2003, 01:50 PM	#64
Rational BAC Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Tampa Bay area Posts: 3,471	Lost the first one. Will try it again. I do not think "size" is very important really for most couples. Anyone (male) who has been to a gym knows that most men are pretty much the same size. Of course there are gross abnormalities in penis size. And that can be unfortunate---but it is not the general rule.

06-16-2003, 01:52 PM	#65
Rational BAC Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Tampa Bay area Posts: 3,471	And on the female side, ------- -----any woman who can physically accomodate a vaginal birth---can also accomodate the usual penis size--give or take an inch or so.----which is quite normal.

06-16-2003, 01:59 PM	#66
Bunny Lover Regular Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 146	Hello JamesKrieger, No, I wouldn't buy a car without a test drive. But, then again, cars can't adapt and share the joys of discovery with each other. Or something. My contrary life as an athiest virgin will likely continue until the day I settle down with the girl I've been looking for. Until then, erm, more Scrabble!

06-16-2003, 02:22 PM	#67
Eagel4Jesus Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Frederick, MD Posts: 22	How can it be bad sex if neither party has anything to compare it to? If a girl has sex with a guy who has a 9" penis and loves it, that means she should never marry any guy close to average length and size. If the girl never had sex, she wouldn't know there was such pleasure in the world (although that may be sad for the girl, if she marries a guy with a small penis, that is more to lose) Matt

06-16-2003, 02:43 PM	#69
Eagel4Jesus Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Frederick, MD Posts: 22	But a comparison will only make sex worse...as long as the woman isn't exceedingly curious, she'd be fine with one lover. One problem with premarital sex is people will marry because the sex is so good, and then the sex is no longer good and you get another divorce...premarital sex encourages more marriages and therefore more divorce... Matt

06-16-2003, 02:52 PM	#70
Opera Nut Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,671	Something like 10 to 20% of women cannot deliver a baby vaginally because of small size. That is why C-section is the most commonly performed operation in America as it is life saving for both mother and baby. Me for example. That's why before C-sections, one-third of women either died in childbirth from a small pelvis or died later from complications such as uncontrolled bleeding or childbed fever (a bacterial uterine infection caused by a woman's vagina being handled by a doctor with dirty hands). I'm glad that I got my sexual experimentation out of the way in college. If I had married my first sex partner, I would have been a)miserable because of his personality; and b) definitely out cheating on him to see if any guy out there was better at sex, nicer personality, more considerate, kind, stuff like that. Some people have much higher sex drives than other people, and that doesn't make it bad. It just makes it something that you have to deal with one way or another if you have a high sex drive. Probably nearly all teenagers, and I'm talking girls as well as boys, are swamped by their hormones. I remember it well myself, being completely obsessed with boys. Getting married just because you're horny and can't stand yourself, and the person you marry just happens to be horny too adn you have convinced yourselves you're in love, when you are just horny, is the dumbest reason in the world to get married. Marriages are a lot easier to get into than they are to get out of, and having a piece of paper that says you are committed to each other MEANS NOTHING in the real world. It doesn't make the other person act committed to you, and it can't make them change. Some people never get that idea. They think that magic screwing license issued by the State will make everybody committed and everything hunky dory. Finding the person you truly want to spend your life with is a crap shoot. If you find that person while you're young, you've beaten some amazing odds. People grow and change and get to know themselves better. I've been through the marriage wars and two very unpleasant divorces. That piece of paper could not make those guys love, honor and cherish me. No way. Judging someone by whether or not they are a virgin has to be the most shallow judgment I have ever seen in my life. The double standard is bull and this crap I heard growing up from Ann Landers about "the girl is supposed to say no, no, no. The guy is an animal, all guys will throw you away once they get WHAT THEY WANT (evil shudder)" is crap. It's demeaning to both sexes. Now I'm settled down with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and I have no desire to keep looking. It took me 39 years to find him, at a Unitarian church.

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