Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Godless Dave · 01-28-2003, 09:03 AM

I've been perusing personal ads and even posted one of my own on Yahoo Personals. But they all seem pretty similar. Most everyone, while not necessarily trying to be dishonest, tries to put their best face forward and say the things they think will be attractive to others. But once you spend some time with someone the things they left out of the ad will start to surface, leaving on or both of you disappointed and disillusioned. So from now on I'm going to tell the truth and the whole truth in personal ads. How does this look:

Quote:

Single white male seeks single female aged 27 to 37 for dating and possible LTR (Realistically it will end up as a LTR pretty fast because I am impatient and always move too fast, but at some point one or both of us will get freaked out and try to slow it down and that�ll work for about a week but then we�ll either get hot & heavy again or cut off all contact with each other). Me: overweight pot smoking pervert. Enjoys dancing for as long as it takes to impress you then I�ll lose interest. Ditto cooking. Alternate between mild gregariousness and extreme introversion. Enjoy going out to dinner, movies, and live music but also enjoy quiet evenings at home. You: smart, funny single woman 27-37, unless all you�re looking for is a few dates and some sex, then it�s 22-42. Must have sense of humor and not take things too seriously, but still be responsible. Must like to go out and have a good time, but not need to fill every damn minute with conversation. Must have interesting things to talk about but not mind if I don�t feel like talking. Keep in mind that �quiet evenings at home� will not always include you, sometimes I need time to spend with my guy friends or just by myself getting high and playing computer games. Must be sexually uninhibited but not a complete slut. If you are not an agnostic or atheist I won�t be able to have a serious relationship with you but I am happy to pretend otherwise as long as we are having sex. Must keep fridge stocked with beer for those nights when you don�t feel like having sex. Ability to read my mood swings and respond accordingly is helpful but don�t expect me to do the same for you. My ideal partner would be no more emotionally messed up than I am and smoke half as much pot. No vegetarians.

viscousmemories · 01-28-2003, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Godless Dave
I've been perusing personal ads and even posted one of my own on Yahoo Personals. But they all seem pretty similar. Most everyone, while not necessarily trying to be dishonest, tries to put their best face forward and say the things they think will be attractive to others. But once you spend some time with someone the things they left out of the ad will start to come out, leaving you disappointed and disillusioned. So from now on i'm going to tell the truth and the whole truth in personal ads. How does this look:

LOL. That is totally awesome!! :notworthy:

I tried that experiment recently (making an honest personal ad) but mine came out sounding more like a cry for help than anything else. In fact, it sounded a lot like it was written by Nicolas Cage from Leaving Las Vegas.

I think you should post that. I sincerely believe the quality of woman who would respond to that would be quite high. (No pun intended). Also, you should look at the personals at the Onion. Most of the posters there (IMHO) are fairly smart, witty, and irreverent. http://personals.onion.com (registration is free).

Shadowy Man · 01-28-2003, 11:48 AM

Sublime. :notworthy:

Except:

Quote:

Enjoy going out to dinner, movies, and live music but also enjoy quiet evenings at home.

See, I've looked at ads and have noticed that virtually all of them have no content. If you say things like "I like to go out but I also like to stay in" you haven't really said anything at all. The rest of it is pure genius.

Funny, but also serious,

Shadowy Man

Strawberry · 01-28-2003, 05:34 PM

Godless Dave, I'm laughing so hard I'm only slightly peeved that your ad ruled me out so quickly. (Vegetarians can be good people, too!

) If all men who posted personals wrote ones like that, I might read them more often. :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

Godless Dave · 01-28-2003, 08:02 PM

That's just the thing, Strawberry. Vegetarians can be good people. I've met some that were so nice I convinced myself that their eating choices wouldn't cause enough conflict with my lifestyle to rule out a serious relationship. I was wrong. With this ad I hope to weed out the incompatibles right off the bat instead of after a few weeks (or months) of dating.

openeyes · 01-28-2003, 09:32 PM

GD, Maybe it's my "advanced" age showing (I have about a dozen years on you), but I'm afraid your affection for beer and especially pot may turn a lot of women off, to be honest with you. We really want someone to be almost as responsible as we are. (I really think I'm talking also for women in your age range, especially in MN)

If she doesn't care now, she certainly will if things move along and you ever have kids.

I may be wrong, but if there ever was a factor who might want to change if you don't get enough "bites", that'd be my suggestion.

Godless Dave · 01-29-2003, 04:19 AM

First, I don't think I'll ever seriously post this ad. Well, maybe.

But the idea with the ad was to be completely honest up front. Better they get turned off when reading the ad than a few months or years later. "Honey, why does the garage always smell funny when your friends come over to work on your truck?" "I thought we already discussed this, dear. Do we have any chips?"

Slumtrimpet · 01-29-2003, 05:02 AM

well hell, Dave,
It sounds like we have a match...aside from a small age discrepancy...and the distance thing. I've been told I look mid-thirties though, and really, for dates and sex?...well, keep the eyes closed.
If you posted that profile on a singles board, I'd probably respond.

Godless Dave · 01-29-2003, 05:55 AM

My family has a cabin in Vermont so at some point in my life I will probably relocate back east. New England is beautiful. Find me a university out there with a master's program in International Relations and we might be in business.

Slumtrimpet · 01-29-2003, 06:21 AM

oh yeah?...where in Vermont? I had a place there too but I lost it to the ex. :-( In the land of a gazilion Universities, there must be at least one with a Master's program in International Relations.

edited to add: Northeastern, Tufts (The Fletcher School), BU, Lesley University, Salve Regina University, School for International Training (Brattleboro, VT) U.Mass, Yale.
:-)

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01-28-2003, 05:34 PM	#94
Strawberry Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Lancaster, PA/Toronto, ON, Canada Posts: 627	Godless Dave, I'm laughing so hard I'm only slightly peeved that your ad ruled me out so quickly. (Vegetarians can be good people, too! ) If all men who posted personals wrote ones like that, I might read them more often. :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

01-28-2003, 08:02 PM	#95
Godless Dave Contributor Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: With 10,000 lakes who needs a coast? Posts: 10,762	That's just the thing, Strawberry. Vegetarians can be good people. I've met some that were so nice I convinced myself that their eating choices wouldn't cause enough conflict with my lifestyle to rule out a serious relationship. I was wrong. With this ad I hope to weed out the incompatibles right off the bat instead of after a few weeks (or months) of dating.

01-28-2003, 09:32 PM	#96
openeyes Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Minnesota Posts: 4,215	GD, Maybe it's my "advanced" age showing (I have about a dozen years on you), but I'm afraid your affection for beer and especially pot may turn a lot of women off, to be honest with you. We really want someone to be almost as responsible as we are. (I really think I'm talking also for women in your age range, especially in MN) If she doesn't care now, she certainly will if things move along and you ever have kids. I may be wrong, but if there ever was a factor who might want to change if you don't get enough "bites", that'd be my suggestion.

01-29-2003, 04:19 AM	#97
Godless Dave Contributor Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: With 10,000 lakes who needs a coast? Posts: 10,762	First, I don't think I'll ever seriously post this ad. Well, maybe. But the idea with the ad was to be completely honest up front. Better they get turned off when reading the ad than a few months or years later. "Honey, why does the garage always smell funny when your friends come over to work on your truck?" "I thought we already discussed this, dear. Do we have any chips?"

01-29-2003, 05:02 AM	#98
Slumtrimpet Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 974	well hell, Dave, It sounds like we have a match...aside from a small age discrepancy...and the distance thing. I've been told I look mid-thirties though, and really, for dates and sex?...well, keep the eyes closed. If you posted that profile on a singles board, I'd probably respond.

01-29-2003, 05:55 AM	#99
Godless Dave Contributor Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: With 10,000 lakes who needs a coast? Posts: 10,762	My family has a cabin in Vermont so at some point in my life I will probably relocate back east. New England is beautiful. Find me a university out there with a master's program in International Relations and we might be in business.

01-29-2003, 06:21 AM	#100
Slumtrimpet Senior Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 974	oh yeah?...where in Vermont? I had a place there too but I lost it to the ex. :-( In the land of a gazilion Universities, there must be at least one with a Master's program in International Relations. edited to add: Northeastern, Tufts (The Fletcher School), BU, Lesley University, Salve Regina University, School for International Training (Brattleboro, VT) U.Mass, Yale. :-)

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