Opera Nut

"Premarital sex encourages more marriages and thus more divorce" -- what are you talking about, Matt???

Premarital sex PREVENTS many unhappy marriages, and therefore PREVENTS divorce. It's better to sleep with someone you have dated for a while, and find out you're not compatible in many ways, and break up with no legal obligations, than to get married first and spend thousands of dollars getting a divorce and enriching a sleazy lawyer.

jayh

And gee, wouldn't it be hell of a lot better to find that out before marriage!!???. Quite frankly I recommend not just sex but LIVING TOGETHER before marriage, because many other things that prove problematic involve money, housekeeping, lifestyle, attitude, things you ONLY know about after living with a person.



A person is not much like a hot dog or a car.

Damn right. You can easily sell a car you can't live with.

I have been on both sides of this question. I started my first marriage as a virgin, and I think it's a damned stupid approach.

j

Eagel4Jesus

The point I was saying is that sex encourages marriage in some cases. There are people who marry for sex, and they almost always divorce.

You do not need to have sex to know if you are compatible in bed. Having sex just tells you the sex will be good, there are other things you can do which are less serious that will let you know if the compatibility is there. Hmm, maybe premarital sex should be defined? I do not know if it was, I didn't read every comment before I commented...

I believe that premarital intercourse is not the best approach. Because in intercourse the other person could just be after their own orgasm, as opposed to the pleasure of their partner. Whereas with a less serious approach, i.e. using a finger/hand (depending on gender) is all about one person satisfying the other, and that will give you a good idea how willing someone is to satisfy the other.

Matt

seebs

If you can't tell, you obviously don't know your prospective partner well enough to be getting married. Note that sex is not, contrary to popular belief, the only way to get to know someone.

HelenM

Only if you're going to bail out rather than committing to work on any problems that you run into.

But if two people are committed to working those things out I don't see a problem in getting married first and then dealing with them.

But evidently you were able to end your first marriage. So what's the difference?

It's up to you what you do.

However, did you vow to be with your first wife until death do you part and then break those promises? What did you promise her when you got married? What commitment did you make to her?

Helen

fatherphil

premarital sex, the great clouder of judgement.

Opera Nut

premarital sex, the great winnower of judgment and preventer of divorce.

Apparently Father Phil believes in that magic piece of paper that solves all personality/sexual/etc. problems instantly, much like Tinkerbell and her magic wand.

And he does not seem to know about the concept of marrying your best friend.

"What god hath joined together" is often truly Hell on Earth.

I know, I've been there. I was committed but the partner wasn't. There was no way to get partner to change his non-loving behavior. Ergo, divorce was the only solution.

In my second marriage, there were two alternatives: Divorce or Death. In fact I nearly died for several years after I got him out of my life, he nearly nagged me to death. I say this in all sincerity.

Ever been chronically ill for several years and near death? It happened to me because of the guy I had married.

fatherphil

i do believe in marrying a best friend. i've generally not had sex with all my best friends though.

if premarital sex was the solution to divorce, why has the number of divorces not dropped with the increase of premarital sex in our society?

lpetrich

Comments like this make me wonder why a marriage is supposed to be an impossibly-difficult uphill struggle.

lpetrich

Any numbers on how many women have gotten AIDS from their husbands or boyfriends? Seriously.